"D is for Discipline!" -- April 6, 2025

 [15:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ok well it is us so we will start up!

 

[15:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Good morning and welcome to Koffee Klatch!

 

[15:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Our discussions are in text and are in the usual C/Q/R format, meaning type "C" if you wish to make a comment, "Q" if you have a question, usually directed at a person's comments, and "R" if you wish to retract either your C or your Q.  If a person has a question for a specific person on what they said, just say "Q @ [name]"

 

[15:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We tend to go in the order received, however, we generally will promote questions directed at a person's comment to the top.  The handy-dandy giant coffee cup in the middle will keep track of the order.

 

[15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If a person asks a question of the group, there is no need to put in a "C" to reply, replies to the question will be open.  Just answer, or we'll have a bunch of "Cs" at the bottom.

 

[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The archive for this Klatch can be found here:  https://xaarakoffeeklatch.blogspot.com/  It houses current and many older discussions.

 

[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): With that out of the way, we'll begin.

 

[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): With this discussion group we go through the BDSM acronym at the beginning of the year.

 

[15:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Last week we went over "Bondage" and that discussion can be found on the archive in the link I just posted above.

 

[15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): This week is Discipline, the second part of the B/D pair of BDSM

 

[15:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Discipline is the act of some kind of punishment or correction of a person.

 

[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Parents instill discipline in their kids via punishments of types for wrongdoing.  And hopefully via positive reinforcement for a job well done.

 

[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We have talked about this a few times, but in the interest of clarity and for newer folks, we have two ways to look at this.

 

[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): First is actual punishment.  Punishment is a tool in a D/s relationship for the breaking of a rule that has been negotiated between the Dominant and the submissive.  Any rule within the agreed upon limits of the relationship needs to be obeyed, so a punishment is to stop a behavior that is not desired.

 

[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): In the behavioral sciences, we talk about reinforcement and punishment.  We want to reinforce desired behaviors and punish bad behaviors to keep them from happening.

 

[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): There are different ways to do both that are beyond the scope of this discussion really.

 

[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Now, if we really need to punish any person....wayward child, naughty sub...then the punishment needs to have three characteristics:

 

[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): First it must be swift, done as close as possible in time to the infraction.

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Or it loses connection from act to punishment.

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Second it must be certain, it WILL happen, or the punisher (not the comic book character) will look weak in the eyes of the person and so not an authority figure.

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And third, it must be Rational, meaning the level of punishment is tied to the infraction.

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Insane punishments for light infractions just breed contempt.

 

[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And light punishments for serious infractions teach nothing.

 

[15:52] Callie Saint (CallieRaziel Resident): nods in agreement

 

[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): "You killed AGAIN Miss Cannoli?  That's another $100 fine for you!"

 

[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I'd be droppin' Franklins like candy

 

[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But obviously that wouldn't work well to deter anything *grins*

 

[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Good Doms will reinforce positive things in their charges, and use punishment sparingly but WILL do it if/when necessary.

 

[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The other kind of Discipline is what we lovingly call here "funishment'

 

[15:54] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Or acts between the Dom and sub that are really more of a negotiated role play to get a scene going.

 

[15:54] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But are not really infractions of rules.

 

[15:54] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So a sub might stick their tongue out at their Dom ....but between them they know this is an allowed bit of play to start up a scene of some kind.

 

[15:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The sub isn't really being a prig.  If they were...that would cause a *real* punishment.

 

[15:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Lots of Dom and subs have little games they play with each other that are negotiated, or even parts of larger role plays.

 

[15:56] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Some subs can look like utter brats!  But with their Dom  it's clear it's part of their banter and how they roll.

 

[15:56] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That is all "Funishment."

 

[15:56] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So two questions for Y/you today:

 

[15:56] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): 1) Do Y/you enjoy "funishment" and do Y/you use it in your D/s interactions, or not?  (some will not, seeing it trite)

 

[15:56] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and 2) If there is real discipline that needs to be administered, how is it handled?

 

[15:57] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Feel free to drop a C or Q in chat after ruminating on it a bit!

 

[15:57] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Meme we will start with you when ready!

 

[15:58] Meme Aeon (Sozome Resident): I don't want to derail the flow butI always view discipline in the BDSM context much more in line with the word's etymology: And actually totally disconnected from punishment, which, in my mind is a completely differently striped animal. (more...)

 

[15:58] Meme Aeon (Sozome Resident): * The word "discipline" derives from the Latin word disciplina, which means "instruction, teaching, learning, or knowledge." It also carried connotations of training, order, and self-control.

 

[15:58] Meme Aeon (Sozome Resident): Done

 

[16:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): 100% agreed Meme

 

[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Discipline isn't about punishment for the sake of doing something awful to a person

 

[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): In fact we would call that *abuse* in this lifestyle I beleive.

 

[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The idea with discipline is indeed to instill in the person order and conformity to however the "command" desires it.

 

[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So you are 100% spot on with that.

 

[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thanks Meme!

 

[16:03] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sir Magnus when ready please!

 

[16:03] Magnus Diavolo (Magnus Diavolo): Personally, I enjoy a degree of playfulness from my subs, so I encourage funishments where appropriate. I always like to state from the beginning, that I will never strike a woman in anger, only for fun.

 

[16:04] Magnus Diavolo (Magnus Diavolo): Done

 

[16:04] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I agree fully Sir!

 

[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): As "funishment" is really connected to play-time, it IMO should be seen as  reward for obedience and fulfilling the desires of one's Dominant (which in part can be the fun of the "funishment!")

 

[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So that was an excellent point, thank You Sir!

 

[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We move to Callie with a question....

 

[16:06] Callie Saint (CallieRaziel Resident): My question is for the room. How do you make sure your are dealing in punishment, not funishment... and vice versa?

 

[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Floor is open to answer

 

[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): no C is required

 

[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): (subs can answer from their perspective of being the object of the fun/punishment

 

[16:08] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): Well, I think you really have to have communication to get to know each other first. ...

 

[16:08] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): it depends of what has been created between the Master and the sub. what sort of dynamic i guess

 

[16:09] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): You need a relationship first. I wouldn't let just anyone "punish" me in the first place.

 

[16:10] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): And in building that relationship, my Dominant knows what I like and what I don't like. What someone else would consider punishment, I might consider fun, and vice versa. And something that wouldn't bother someone else would be absolutely devastating to me.

 

[16:10] Magnus Diavolo (Magnus Diavolo): In my opinion, that comes from open and honest communication between the Dom and sub. Subs are smart, regardless of what some people might think. They know that punishments will be necessary at times and an open and honest discussion about what is best for that sub can go a long way. If they decide that they hate timeouts, but they're willing to accept timeouts as punishments, then there's a tool in the toolbag. If they love spankings, that's not useful as a punishment, of course, so that tool goes into a different toolbag.

 

[16:10] Meme Aeon (Sozome Resident): when my Master uses physcial discipline he does so for my emotional well being and his enjoyment. When he punishes me, the few times he has done so, it is always crystal clear that it is a punishment.

 

[16:11] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): My Master knows that spanking isn't a punishment for me. What is more effective for me is taking away something I like, such as "you're not allowed to pose on the fountain for two weeks."

 

[16:12] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I agree with May that a scene where even some serious S/M is going on is not 'punishment' between the Top and Bottom if there is no relationship.

 

[16:12] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If someone said to me "Vanni I'm going to punish you for XXX" and I don't know who this person is...I'm leaving! lol

 

[16:12] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): Indeed!

 

[16:13] Magnus Diavolo (Magnus Diavolo): No one has the right to punish a sub without consent. Plain and simple.

 

[16:13] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And Sir Magnus I agree that different people have different reactions to anything, so the line between punishment and funishment for each person is definitely subjective.

 

[16:14] Haven Enigma (Haven Enigma): Punishment is not a scene. It is not performative. It's designed to change behavior, and to work, that purpose has to be clear to both parties.

 

[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And Meme I am glad the relationship with Sir Sahrin and you is healthy :)

 

[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Correct Haven

 

[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): A scene is fun....punishment is serious.

 

[16:15] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): in fact, if the s-type is giggling their way through what the Dom  sees as punishment, that becomes a real "Topping from the Bottom" situation, IMO.

 

[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): it is manipulation

 

[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): bad!

 

[16:17] Haven Enigma (Haven Enigma): Or a miscommunication. Sometimes subs don't realize they've crossed a line, and sometimes Dom s use the same technique for both fun0 and punishment.

 

[16:17] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Agreed

 

[16:17] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Well said A/all!

 

[16:17] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Callie did you get your question covered fully?

 

[16:17] Callie Saint (CallieRaziel Resident):   nods and smiles. "Thank you everyone."

 

[16:17] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Excellent

 

[16:18] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Eleonor your comment please!

 

[16:18] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): I agree with all what has been said about discipline so far. For me, it is very arousing because it is the way my Owner chose to enforce and teach and make His points clear. It is His power in action.

 

[16:19] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Well said!!

 

[16:19] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): thank you Vanessa

 

[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Correction done in the proper way builds the relationship between the persons as you said

 

[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Because everyone will mess up somewhere at some time

 

[16:21] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): so for minor things gentle correction to get that trait, that undesired behavior out is really to be appreciated I'd think.

 

[16:21] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): After all, a submissive person wants to *serve* I'd think...and do it well.

 

[16:22] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Major correction/discipline is best left to serious misdeeds.

 

[16:22] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But...

 

[16:22] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): if that's a regular feature of the situation, regular misdeeds, regular need for serious discipline...

 

[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): well speaking for myself...I'd look long and hard at that relationship.

 

[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But I will leave what that is to each person to decide.

 

[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Eleonor, very very well said!

 

[16:24] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I have one more question but before I get to it I want to leave room for any other general comments or questions so I'll wait a minute.

 

[16:25] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So here in SL, we are not tactile, meaning a spank is in what I like calling the "Theater of the Mind" as is any other kind of S/M things like flogging, etc.

 

[16:26] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): in fact even touch and sex are in the mind unless some kind of mirroring is going on during the scene or act

 

[16:27] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So, do physical punishments work here at all?  And worse, as many bottoms and s-types *like* spanking...even if it were tactile, how would that work as a punishment?  And if it doesn't .. what does work here to instill discipline minus tactile feelings?

 

[16:27] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): just give an answer if Y/you have one

 

[16:28] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): Well, as I said earlier, sometimes taking away something the sub really likes is an effective punishment. Like if the sub is a real Hand & Foot addict, telling him or her no games allowed for a week would be a real punishment.

 

[16:28] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   looks at May and wonders if that's from experience :P

 

[16:29] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident):   looks innocent

 

[16:29] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): So, spanking doesn't work on me. But telling me I can't pose for two weeks would be tough!

 

[16:29] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): #

 

[16:30] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And I assume that He would leave that for a pretty serious infraction

 

[16:31] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): Yes. Usually we just talk if I've done something wrong. And sometimes it's just a misunderstanding and he decides no further punishment is needed.

 

[16:31] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): Sometimes just the "TALK" is enough punishment.

 

[16:31] Sahrin Aeon (SARIN Aeon): The use of what appears to be tactile punishment Is only effective if the visual has correlation To an emotional connection #

 

[16:31] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Agreed Sir....the *reason* that is happening

 

[16:32] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Which leads back to what May just said....the talk leads to the act and many times the act of punishment isn't necessary

 

[16:33] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We all mess up now and then, but subbies here....I'm sure you know that just hearing "you did wrong, you messed up" is usually enough to make us feel horrible.

 

[16:34] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident):   nods

 

[16:34] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): What else is necessary really for that offense?

 

[16:34] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But if it's done again...and again....that's a HABIT

 

[16:34] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And that's a real problem

 

[16:34] Connie (Constanse Levenque):   looks at Vanni and nods

 

[16:34] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And the Dominant really needs to look and consider the situation.

 

[16:34] Magnus Diavolo (Magnus Diavolo): So, in my view, there's a corollary between physical in-person punishment and virtual punishment. Physical punishments are just a shortcut to the emotional reaction. Bad behavior=bad consequence, just as good behavior=good consequence. The bad consequence part of that equation can be just as effective whether it's physical, emotional, or any agreed-upon punishment. In the end, we all make the majority of our decisions from an emotional foundation. So, when the sub feels the desire to do something that qualifies as the bad behavior part of that equation, there's an emotional reaction to the bad consequence part of the equation. That's the real key -- the emotional reaction that the sub develops to any given behavior.

 

[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Agreed Sir, well said.

 

[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I would also question the motivation for doing the bad behavior.

 

[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I teach criminology and I know that criminals are usually rather impulsive and don't do much reward vs risk thinking for the majority of crimes they commit.

 

[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But the person who stops and thinks "what is the reward for crime/bad behavior?" ... that's a different issue

 

[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So, again IMO...a sub that is doing reward vs risk thinking for bad behavior is either 1) a total brat (which is a different kettle of fish) or 2) not really very submissive. They are a manipulator.

 

[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That's my opinion however...I don't say it's a fact *grins*

 

[16:39] Magnus Diavolo (Magnus Diavolo): That's an excellent observation, though, Vanni.

 

[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The price of education here Sir *giggles*

 

[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank You!

 

[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So...any other comments or questions on our topic of Discipline?

 

[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Eleonor please

 

[16:41] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): bad behavior would be from a sub that is a brat (no offense, some really love to be so and some Masters love that also) , and for me it's just the way their relationship is. The problem is if the Master is not aware of that :)

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We will talk about brats later this spring or early summer

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): when we talk about submissive types

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): that's the D/s part but in a number of weeks *grins*

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I do love talking about brats as it stirs up some controversy lol

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and I don't mean bratwurst

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): some think brats are the wurst though

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ♫ rimshot ♫

 

[16:43] Connie (Constanse Levenque):   giggles

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): sorry had to get that one in

 

[16:43] Haven Enigma (Haven Enigma):   laughs

 

[16:43] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): smiles !

 

[16:43] Callie Saint (CallieRaziel Resident):   giggles

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I mustard up my courage for it

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ♫ rimshot ♫

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ok before this devolves into bad stand up

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank Y/you all for coming today and giving thoughts on this topic!

 

[16:43] Haven Enigma (Haven Enigma):   snickers, "And now the puns must flow..."

 

[16:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Back in two weeks to talk about.....Sadism!

 

[16:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Have a lovely rest of the weekend please!

 

[16:44] Callie Saint (CallieRaziel Resident):   smiles. "Thank you Vanni."

"B is for Bondage!" -- March 23, 2025

[15:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Good morning and welcome to Koffee Klatch!

 [15:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Our discussions are in text and are in the usual C/Q/R format, meaning type "C" if you wish to make a comment, "Q" if you have a question, usually directed at a person's comments, and "R" if you wish to retract either your C or your Q.  If a person has a question for a specific person on what they said, just say "Q @ [name]"

 

[15:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We tend to go in the order received, however, we generally will promote questions directed at a person's comment to the top.  The handy-dandy giant coffee cup in the middle will keep track of the order.

 

[15:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If a person asks a question of the group, there is no need to put in a "C" to reply, replies to the question will be open.  Just answer, or we'll have a bunch of "Cs" at the bottom.

 

[15:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): With that out of the way, we'll begin.

 

[15:41]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): Welcome all to today's discussion!

 

[15:41]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): Our moderator for this session will be Vanessa Cannoli

 

[15:41]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): The discussion will be run in a C - Comment, Q - Question format.

 

[15:41]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): Just type a C or a Q in local to be added to the speaker list.

 

[15:41]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): To withdraw your comment type an R

 

[15:41]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): If you'd like to enter your words anonymously, just touch this box.

 

[15:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Minus my "hiatus" most of last year, any regulars to this Klatch know we took time at the beginning of the year to go over the BDSM acronym.

 

[15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So I thought jumping back in now that would be a good idea again as we have many new folks in Xaara.

 

[15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): First a little exposition and then we'll go to comments and questions.

 

[15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): BDSM as an acronym stands for three things:  B/D:  Bondage and Discipline, S/M:  Sadism and Masochism, and D/s:  Dominance and Submission.

 

[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Our goal over the series of these discussions is to discuss each in a hopefully frank and educational manner.

 

[15:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Important:  we are all at different places in our BDSM journeys -- some are brand new (welcome!) and some have been in the scene so long they named that gold plated x-frame after you (welcome!)

 

[15:44] Seli (Seliara Elton):  chuckles

 

[15:44] Candice :::HotD::: (CandiceElla Resident): lol

 

[15:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ALL points of view are welcome, and everyone has their own views and narrative as we wind through the acronym.

 

[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So with that, we start with B -- B is for Bondage!

 

[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): To quote Wikipedia, which knows all, Bondage "is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation. A partner may be physically restrained in a variety of ways, including the use of rope, cuffs, bondage tape, or self-adhering bandage."

 

[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):  has a hose ready if anyone is overheating at this point...

 

[15:46] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident):  smiles

 

[15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Bondage is often an act in and of itself, meaning that the people involved will do that as a scene in itself.

 

[15:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): At my First Life club, there are many scenes where a person is tied in some way, such as suspension, and that's the scene, and the act in and of itself puts the bottom into subspace.

 

[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): A week ago Friday I watch a great rope scene at my RL club...two people suspended a young woman and after she was tied and suspended they smacked her butt and played with her in various ways...very sexy!

 

[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sometimes the restraining is mixed with S/M acts as well such as spanking, etc, but in general the rigging or what not is the scene.

 

[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I don't do rigging myself, I don't have patience.  I just want to beat someone silly.

 

[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But it is fun to watch!

 

[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Also with this, use of handcuffs, leg irons, arm spreaders, gags, latex body suits, hoods....*subspace is coming*...are possible, and MORE!  LOTS MORE!

 

[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ahem

 

[15:49] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): Mmmmm.

 

[15:49] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident):  gets a dreamy look

 

[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Along with the fun comes safety.

 

[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): It's DANGEROUS to leave a person alone tied anywhere in First Life

 

[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Anyone in my club that ties someone and walks out of the room without getting someone to watch the bound person is never going to play there again.

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The Dungeon Monitor will end the scene and release the person immediately.

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Also a person who is bound needs to be regularly checked in with to be sure they're ok.

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So if you do this in First Life and are getting a cramp, or claustrophobia, or ANYTHING, ask for a change, or ask to end the scene if necessary.

 

[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I attach my bottom to a frame or whatever with things called "ez-offs" which is a metal clamp with two hooks on each end you open and close with your finger.

 

[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If they need to be released for anything, it takes less than five seconds to get the limb released

 

[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And of course, if You are the Top, please be responsible, check in and be sure Your charge is ok during the whole scene.

 

[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So now ... with all that said....two questions....

 

[15:54] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and here is where Y/you can give your inisghtful opinions

 

[15:54] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): 1) Do Y/you enjoy Bondage, either as the bound person, or the person doing the binding?  What's the attraction in all this?

 

[15:54] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): 2) As SL is visual and psychological, why do Y/you think this is such a turn on here in SL?  Unless we mirror the binding at home (usually not advised) it's all what I like to call "Theater of the Mind."  But it's still sexy fun here!  Why?  What's the psychological connection in Y/your opinion?

 

[15:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Feel free to answer one or both!

 

[15:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):  ends the exposition and grabs the coffee

 

[15:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Ele when you are ready please

 

[15:57] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl): for me..being restrained..heightens the anticipation of what might and could be done to me...and it is the anticipation and the knowlege I cant ..get away...as it were that gets my nerve endings firing..as for sl being visual..when im here in sl im living it..im not playing ..soo luckily for me..those same anticipatory thrills apply...#

 

[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes!

 

[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I think it heightens that feeling of helplessness (which many bottoms love) and also builds trust between the Top/Bottom or Dom and sub

 

[15:59] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl):  nods..lots

 

[15:59] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Apprehension slides into "I know what You are going to do (mostly) and I love it...."

 

[15:59] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Excellent points Ele!  Thank you!@ ♥♥

 

[16:00] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl):  smiles

 

[16:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We go to May when ready, please!

 

[16:00] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): For me, engaging in bondage is the ultimate sign of trust. If you are the bottom, you are completely helpless. You have given over yourself to someone you hope and believe will not hurt you or go beyond the limits you've discussed (like no pain or no sex), and is also competent enough to give you a good experience; you won't be hurt accidentally. And if you're the top, it's a huge rush being given this trust. You respect the person's limits, but it's up to you how far you want to push them, to stimulate or deny, to tease or accommodate. You have the power and the trust. As for the second question ....

 

[16:02] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): I am NOT at all flexible in RL. Bondage positions I can do in SL would be painful and impossible in RL. I'm also allergic to latex and leather! So although I don't get to experience the full range of senses like tasting and smelling in SL, doing BDSM in SL lets me do many things I can't do in RL. So the tradeoff works for me.#

 

[16:03] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes, theater of the mind is a powerful tool IMO

 

[16:04] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and I agree with everything you said there, May, the energy between the bottom who is tied and the Top who has bound the bottom is electric.

 

[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): As you said, here in SL, the electricity of either being bound or having that bound person before you, helpless and oh so willing is super sexy.

 

[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thanks May!

 

[16:05] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident):  smiles

 

[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Before we move on, someone put an anonymous answer in the machine, I am going to add it as I do not know if this person put it there by accident or does not want to be identified.

 

[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sylvia we move to you please!!

 

[16:06] SylviaAurelia (SylviaAurelia Resident): I enjoy the feeling of being bound in RL, but to be genuinely unable to escape makes me panic. SL lets me see "myself" bound in ways I find exciting without triggering the terror response. #

 

[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes that's a very real thing.

 

[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Years ago I nearly died from an asthma attack....so no hands can ever go on my throat, ever.  It brings back that panic of not being able to breathe which was beyond terrifying.

 

[16:08] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But I found I have the same response here in SL...if somone says "I put my hands on your throat/neck and squeeze gently" I panic and scream RED fast.

 

[16:08] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): because that terror comes back

 

[16:08] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So I am glad that you can get your kink going here Sylvia!

 

[16:09] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And there is a whole philosophical discussion that could be had about "where does the typist end and the avatar begin?" but that's another topic heh heh heh

 

[16:10] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank you Sylvia!  and keep on kinking! :)

 

[16:10] SylviaAurelia (SylviaAurelia Resident):  smiles

 

[16:10] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We go to Miss Seli, please!

 

[16:11] Seli (Seliara Elton): Heh, I actually have some thoughts on typist/avatar, even! Pre-typed, so I'll break into paragraphs

 

[16:11] Seli (Seliara Elton): Just a thought on the theater of the mind part of the questions, I find that there can be a magic to it. My ideal siutaiton is if you can get to a place where the dominant knows RLV really well, and the submissive is "immersed" in SL, in that they do more than just get tied up such as go out, hang with friends, play games, etc, you can suddenly use RLV to fundamentally change their SL experience by denying those things they take for granted.

 

[16:11] Seli (Seliara Elton): For instance, if in RL we're used to being able to move our arms, and bondage takes that away from the tight wrap of an armbinder, say, in SL you can find similar "I'm used to being able to do this" and have a very similar psychological effect by making it go away. Free movement, speech, the ability to change clothes, stand, see names, even understand words.

 

[16:11] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):  grins at Miss Seli

 

[16:11] Seli (Seliara Elton): Layered together with someone who thinks of SL as a "Real" place where they do things and suddenly can't, and the drop into subspace can be really intense and complete, especially if the restrictions are put on thoughtfully, and with care to build the intensity of the scene so there's both the theater of the mind at play (I am being told I'm being bound and my head is in the fantasy) being augmented by the actual-of-the-experience of losing control over your SL.

 

[16:12] Seli (Seliara Elton): When those things all layer together, it's hot as hell, especially if there's a good chemistry between dominant and sub.#

 

[16:13] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Ooooooo...You totally get it, Miss!

 

[16:13] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): (as Miss Seli's just self-announced agent, I require a $10000L up front fee before speaking to her about 15 with you subbies.....cash of course, and no traveller's cheques.)

 

[16:14] Seli (Seliara Elton):  laughs and winks at Vanni

 

[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):  giggles

 

[16:14] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl):  giggles

 

[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Seriously though, that is all super well said!

 

[16:14] Seli (Seliara Elton): I think about it a lot

 

[16:15] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident):  smiles

 

[16:15] Seli (Seliara Elton): And Lexi is a VERY willing test subject for putting theory into practice

 

[16:15] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And the fun of RLV is using it as that tool to enhance the bondage or the scene.

 

[16:15] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): She's so giving...can we name a brick on the road for her? ;)

 

[16:15] Seli (Seliara Elton): Of course. We just need to wrap the brick in latex.

 

[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): LOL!

 

[16:16] Seli (Seliara Elton): Or leather, but that girl likes to shine

 

[16:16] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident):  imagines the brick being a button to a secret dungeon cell under the road

 

[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Miss Seli thank You for that, You certainly do work the theory into practice well! ♥

 

[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lol May!

 

[16:17] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Candice we come to you please!

 

[16:17] Candice :::HotD::: (CandiceElla Resident): Thank You Vanni, for me bondage and being restrained is about complete submission and surrendering control to someone you trust explicitly with Your care and safely, the thrill and anticipation is mind blowing as mentioned by Ele and others too, the mid is the greatest tool with any scenes#

 

[16:18] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes!!

 

[16:19] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I think W/we have hit the nail on the head here....the SL look feeds the mind and sets off the same neural pathways.

 

[16:20] Candice :::HotD::: (CandiceElla Resident): yes

 

[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The rare times I actually have a Dominant that wants to do such with me, I love being taken somewhere appropriate bound, naked and on Their leash...even though I'm sitting here in comfy clothes and ratty hair and no makeup in RL...the thrill of seeing me/my avi there is heavenly.

 

[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So what you said Candice is very very real.

 

[16:21] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And y'all know what I mean lol

 

[16:21] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident):  smiles

 

[16:21] Candice :::HotD::: (CandiceElla Resident): yes

 

[16:21] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank you so much Candice, it's great having you here with us! ♥

 

[16:22] Candice :::HotD::: (CandiceElla Resident): great to have klatch back :)

 

[16:22] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident):  nods enthusiastically

 

[16:22] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):  points at Kels..."Blame or thank her!" ;)

 

[16:22] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):  giggles

 

[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Liss you are up please!

 

[16:23] Candice :::HotD::: (CandiceElla Resident): hee hee sends cake to Kely

 

[16:23] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): Yes, I love being bound - and blindfolded. In sl, rlv is important for me as it does render me helpless and uncertain of what will happen.  SL scenes can also trigger me into thinking about bondage type scripting, which is something I love doing in sl. Psychologically, a paradox arises from bondage in that it both stimulates my imagination whilst focusing my mind to the present ...

 

[16:23] kely (Kelyren Benoir):  beams proudly

 

[16:23] Seli (Seliara Elton): I have to walk a pupper quick too, so AFK a sec.

 

[16:24] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): And adding to Miss Seli's point, I added "Random" to my blindfold so that I could be out shopping or dancing and suddenly unable to see for several minutes. #

 

[16:24] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): Q @ Liss

 

[16:24] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Liss, when blindfolded, do you like it so it really covers the screen and you can't see SL at all, or just on your avi but you can see?  I'm guessing the first?

 

[16:25] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): A mix, I have several levels of thickness from a balck screen, through being able to take part in the emoting to clear but with the blindfold displayed

 

[16:26] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): nods nods

 

[16:26] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): balck = black or blank

 

[16:27] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I had a Mistress many years ago that loved blindfolds....she would put it on the setting where I could only see the chat box and I had to respond to every emote she did...it was exhilarating!

 

[16:27] Liss (LissomePrey Resident):  nods lots

 

[16:28] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): Specific. Liss, what do you mean by "bondage type scripting"? Are you talking about programming or an RP script?

 

[16:29] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): scripting, actually often as much about anonymity or ritual as bondage

 

[16:29] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): hence my tag ;)

 

[16:29] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): hee hee

 

[16:30] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): years ago there was a place called the "Mysterium Mansion" where to go in you wore a hud that shut off the ability to see the bubbles off us and shut off text names

 

[16:30] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): so you only saw "Someone Says" or "Someone Does"

 

[16:30] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): unless they had set up an alias

 

[16:31] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Mine was Poppy

 

[16:31] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): I remember the Cordax at Aggarame was like that too.

 

[16:31] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): it was fun and you couldn't tell who anyone was hee hee

 

[16:31] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yeah there have several places

 

[16:31] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): Yes there are similar places such as The Secret Society and some Eyes Wide Shut type ideas. And if anyone has interesting ideas I always love to hear them.

 

[16:31] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Cool!

 

[16:31] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): Unfortunately devices always give away real names!

 

[16:32] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): well you need to play the game right LOL

 

[16:32] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Liss thanks so much for your insight!

 

[16:32] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): If anyone has questions or ideas they'd like thought about IM me!

 

[16:32] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Kels we go to you please!

 

[16:33] kely (Kelyren Benoir): EWS Events are tons of fun ... for that reason.  I remember Mysterium, too ... *squirms at the memories*

 

[16:33] kely (Kelyren Benoir): I am incredibly claustrophobic in RL and since I tend to immerse myself into my SL the mental aspect of it is still very real here. I have VERY few limits, but hoods are a huge RED. With that said, I thoroughly love being bound by somebody I trust. TRUST being a very operative word. Shibari would hands down be my means of choice - the time to prepare and bind is a very deep and meaningful process. A good rigger can paint such a beautiful picture it makes me feel beautiful and truly a piece of art to be enjoyed. If some rougher play were to follow ... well yay :) hehe

 

[16:33] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):  grins

 

[16:33] kely (Kelyren Benoir): Like May, I have zero hope of being able to bend in the right ways and have other medical conditions that would make bondage difficult, if not outright dangerous for me.  Blessed be for SL and the brilliant creators who have brought us tools (like RLV and RLV enabled toys) to enhance our mental states to make it possible to "live" such things.  Our Master creates and scripts RLV-enabled BDSM furniture and toys, but doesn't use RLV on me much.  I sometimes wish He did, but I don't really "miss" it.  We are also lucky to have Groups and Sims, like Xaara, that allow us the freedoms of expression in safe spaces.

 

[16:34] Candice :::HotD::: (CandiceElla Resident): yes

 

[16:34] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident):  smiles and nods

 

[16:34] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): 100%

 

[16:34] kely (Kelyren Benoir): I'm soooo glad you have brought these Klatches back .. thank you Vannikins! ❤ #

 

[16:34] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Love you Kely!

 

[16:34] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl):  nods lots

 

[16:35] Liss (LissomePrey Resident):  nods too

 

[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Everything you said is spot on right

 

[16:35] kely (Kelyren Benoir): Back at ya beautiful ❤

 

[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): My 57 year old knees are slowly going arthritic...so just kneeling like this *points at self* would not be possible very long.  But it's been over an hour now!

 

[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So SL does give us that freedom enjoy things that would not be possible in First Life as so many of you have pointed out.

 

[16:36] kely (Kelyren Benoir): What I emote as "kneels ever so softy " here ... would be a loud "crunch" in RL *laughs*

 

[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lol

 

[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I hear you Kels!

 

[16:37] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl):  giggles

 

[16:37] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl): I can kneel softly rl...

 

[16:37] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident): <screams loudly and clutches at leg while scrabbling for pills>

 

[16:37] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl): getting up again however...

 

[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lol right!

 

[16:37] kely (Kelyren Benoir): haha that too Sis

 

[16:37] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl):  giggles

 

[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Luckly, years of yoga have kept me limber enough for that

 

[16:37] Candice :::HotD::: (CandiceElla Resident): lol

 

[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): for now...

 

[16:38] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl): (im up and dow like a yoyo for work reasons.nurse..yanno)

 

[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yus

 

[16:39] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl): sticking sharp stuff in folks to give them stuff

 

[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ooooo maybe a 'Naughty Nurse' scene is possible *giggles*

 

[16:40] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl): giggles

 

[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thanks so much for all that Kels, you are spot on and a gem for Xaara.

 

[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ♥♥♥

 

[16:40] May O. Mingzi (MayOMingzi Resident):  pictures a new Xaara skybox labeled "asylum"

 

[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):  laughs

 

[16:40] Candice :::HotD::: (CandiceElla Resident): lol

 

[16:41] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl): Vanni and A/all please excuse me rl calls thank you for beinging these back !

 

[16:41] Seli (Seliara Elton):  returns

 

[16:41] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl): ❤

 

[16:41] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): remembers the Serenity Lost asylum

 

[16:41] Candice :::HotD::: (CandiceElla Resident): Take care Everyone, have a blessed Sunday :)

 

[16:41] Ele (Elenie GossipGirl): see you in a bit Sis

 

[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Here she is

 

[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): See you Ele!

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Any final comments or questions on Bondage?

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank Y/you all for being here and participating!

 

[16:43] Candice :::HotD::: (CandiceElla Resident): Thank You for Having us Vanni ~hugs~

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sir Johan has "Easy Like Sunday Morning" next week, so we are back in two weeks with "Discipline!"

 

[16:43] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): Thanks for running it Vanni, when is the next one?

 

[16:43] Candice :::HotD::: (CandiceElla Resident): woots!!

 

[16:43]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): Thank you for attending this discussion.

 

[16:43]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): The tracker is now off and the floor is open to everyone.

"Taking the Step In!" -- March 9, 2025

[15:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Good morning and welcome to Koffee Klatch!

 [15:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Back after nearly a year!  And better than ever...or maybe more bitter!

 [15:41] Seli (Seliara Elton):   laughs softly. "Needs more cream?"

 [15:41] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade):   whispers, "Its all about the grind."

 [15:41] Joel Lightfoot (JoelJSA Resident):   chuckles  I've missed those puns

 [15:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I am a Cannoli Miss....

 [15:41] Arella Soren (Arella4 Resident): rimshot

 [15:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ♫ rimshot ♫

 [15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Our discussions are in text and are in the usual C/Q/R format, meaning type "C" if you wish to make a comment, "Q" if you have a question, usually directed at a person's comments, and "R" if you wish to retract either your C or your Q.  If a person has a question for a specific person on what they said, just say "Q @ [name]"

 [15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We tend to go in the order received, however, we generally will promote questions directed at a person's comment to the top.  The handy-dandy giant coffee cup in the middle will keep track of the order.

 [15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If a person asks a question of the group, there is no need to put in a "C" to reply, replies to the question will be open.  Just answer, or we'll have a bunch of "Cs" at the bottom.

 [15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): With that out of the way, we'll begin.

 [15:43]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): Welcome all to today's discussion!

 [15:43]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): Our moderator for this session will be Vanessa Cannoli

 [15:43]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): The discussion will be run in a C - Comment, Q - Question format.

 [15:43]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): Just type a C or a Q in local to be added to the speaker list.

 [15:43]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): To withdraw your comment type an R

 [15:43]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): If you'd like to enter your words anonymously, just touch this box.

 [15:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): so for today's returning topic, we will go over "How did you get into the scene?"

 [15:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We all got into the BDSM scene somehow...it could have been and still is only here in SL.

 [15:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Or perhaps Y/you were in the scene in First Life, found SL and jumped in here.

 [15:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Or perhaps moved from SL to a First Life place.

 [15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): All of us got into it, as we're all here, and it's a road that, fraught with some initial fear and worry, is one that we can never get off of once we start.

 [15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And really, do any of us *want* to go back to being vanilla????

 [15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Just vanilla?

 [15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   shudders

 [15:46] Seli (Seliara Elton):   giggles softly

 [15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): wb Miss Nadi, Cors

 [15:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So I'll start with a short tale...some have heard it before so apologies.

 [15:47] Mx. Ŋaɖi Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ Grɛɣmɣst (NadiLee Halcali): thanks

 [15:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Prior to the early 2000s I had heard of "BDSM" and knew a bit about it, but I had no interest in it.

 [15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So in I think 2002 I had a student in my Sociology of Deviance class who asked if she could do her observational study of a deviant place at a BDSM club around here -- her roomie was into it so she thought it a good spot to go observe.

 [15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I told her "sure!"

 [15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Then she turned in a paper of what she saw there and I was like "holy f**k...this is amazing!"

 [15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So I asked her if she could get her roomie to get an outreach team from the club to come speak to the class.  And they happily obliged

 [15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): You can imagine my class' surprise when I told them "two dominatrixes from a BDSM club are coming to speak to the class"...they were expecting two hot 20 year olds in leather ... and two middle aged nurses came in lol

 [15:50] Parser Lane (Parser Lane):   smiles

 [15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But it was a really good talk and they invited us to visit on 'open' nights

 [15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): so I went for a visit and got interested and started reading stuff

 [15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That club closed, but I found another one that had open parties and expos regularly

 [15:51] Bill Talon (BilliamTalon Resident): Hi Arella

 [15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So got involved, became a full member in 2014 and have been a pervert ever since

 [15:51] Arella Soren (Arella4 Resident): Nice to see you Bill

 [15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And been in SL BDSM for almost as long as I've been here.

 [15:52] Bill Talon (BilliamTalon Resident): Hello Grace

 [15:52] Grace (GracieMoonheart Resident): Hello Master Bill

 [15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but had it not been for that student in that class...no kismet and maybe Vanni would still be the vanilla bookworm lol

 [15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So that's my story of slow perverted growth

 [15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Welcome Sir Bill.

 [15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Who's next?  *grins*

 [15:52] Bill Talon (BilliamTalon Resident): Hi Vanessa

 
[15:53] Parser Lane (Parser Lane): Thank you for sharing, Vanessa! (bookworm isn't a bad thing either, but.. yeah)

[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I'm still a bookworm, just a perverted one
 
[15:53] Parser Lane (Parser Lane): best of both worlds! :D
 

[15:53] Arella Soren (Arella4 Resident): it's an honor to know you, Professor Vanni

 
[15:54] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   tips my head to Miss "thank You Miss!  Likewise!"
 
[15:54] Arella Soren (Arella4 Resident): Smiles .. tyvm
 
[15:54] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   leans back and waits /// ;)
 
[15:54] Seli (Seliara Elton): I'm just picturing the middle aged nurses pulling out the sterile gloves and going "let's begin, shall we?"
 
[15:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): LOL
 
[15:55] Seli (Seliara Elton): C
 
[15:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Well it was a verbally sterile discussion mostly Miss....mostly about what makes people in the scene tick, why we like S/M acts etc.
 
[15:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Miss Seli when You are ready please.
 
[15:56] Seli (Seliara Elton):   shrugs. "Just a quick icebreaker. I actually went the other direction: from online to RL. My start was on what I thought was a pretty bog-standard fantasy roleplay sim on a game called Neverwinter Nights 2"
 
[15:56] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   has played that...

 
[15:57] Seli (Seliara Elton): "This is well over a decade ago when it still had servers up, and a small team had custom built a whole space, with guilds and so on, and it -could- be very vanilla"
 
[15:57] Seli (Seliara Elton): "But I tried to join the mage guild and they rolled me through an "initiation hall" and I went "why....are there stocks here? Is that for punishment?"
 
[15:57] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ooooo
 
[15:58] Seli (Seliara Elton): "And the head sorcerer went 'are you ready to find out? I am looking for an assistant.'"
 
[15:59] Seli (Seliara Elton): That was eye-opening! And really reallllllly hot. Stayed there for years before making a jump to exploring a bit in RL, and when it shut down, I made the jump with some friends here to SL which is why my full name is so ye olde Fantasye"
 
[15:59] Seli (Seliara Elton): #
 
[15:59] Seli (Seliara Elton): (I think the # is how I say I'm done, anyway, been a while!)
 
[15:59] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes, Miss!
 
[15:59] Seli (Seliara Elton):   fist pumps "Still got it!"
 
[16:00] Parser Lane (Parser Lane):   applauds the cool story! (do we do that here?)
 
[16:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): As long as it wasn't a half-orc Top it sounds cool...can I have the 400 year old high elf Domme, please? ;)
 
[16:00] Seli (Seliara Elton): heee, she was an elf!
 
[16:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): \o/
 
[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If y'all remember 'The Sims'....my sister had a mod for it where you could put your Sims on bondage furniture
 
[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): she showed me a screenshot of a sim on a St. Andrew's Cross lol
 
[16:01] Seli (Seliara Elton): Sims 4 is kinky as hell if you look in the right places
 
[16:01] Seli (Seliara Elton): Not that I would know such places
 
[16:01] Seli (Seliara Elton): <,<
 
[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): *cough* 'Certainly not, Miss!'
 
[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank You for that!  Great story of how one dips their toe in!
 
[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Anyone next?
 
[16:02] Joel Lightfoot (JoelJSA Resident): C
 
[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Joel when you are ready please!
 
[16:02] Joel Lightfoot (JoelJSA Resident): Short, almost vanilla, story:
 
[16:03] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Wooot!
 
[16:03] Arella Soren (Arella4 Resident): Smiles at Joel-Mine and ruffles his hair
 
[16:03] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): C
 
[16:03] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): What is 'contra dancing?'  (I know all the perverse stuff but not that...)
 
[16:04] Joel Lightfoot (JoelJSA Resident): Old American folk dance...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contra_dance
 
[16:04] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Oh!
 
[16:04] Joel Lightfoot (JoelJSA Resident): The Folkdance sim has a couple dances a week, scripted by my friend.
 
[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes I have heard of this, I just didn't know what it was called
 
[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): how cool!
 
[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I have friends in First Life who do Clogging
 
[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lots of fun
 
[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Can we do "Contra Spanking" here maybe...
 
[16:05] Joel Lightfoot (JoelJSA Resident): My profile has more info for anyone interested.
 
[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Hi Miss Zati, CC!
 
[16:06] Consuela Hypatia Caldwell (Consuela Caldwell): Hi Vanni, hi everyone
 
[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thanks so much, Joel!!
 
[16:06] Joel Lightfoot (JoelJSA Resident): YW!
 
[16:06] Seli (Seliara Elton):   waves a hello
 
[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Miss Wynter when You are ready please!
 
[16:06] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): A bit of a story, but three parts coming in :)
 
[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): bring it!
 
[16:07] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): My entry into the lifestyle began as part of my exploration towards truly discovering myself. It started with fetishes, and crossdressing being one of the big ones for me. Due to some early childhood trauma.. the idea of being transgender was something I made impermissible to me. So I had to play within my "rules" while having this desire that could no longer be ignored to express my feminine side. Eventually I found the sissy community, as it was the largest expression of forced feminization at the time. The idea of kneeling to a Domme and being 'forced' to be feminine.. seemed amazing and I didn't 'balk' at the idea because of my "rules" around gender presentation.
 
[16:07] Parser Lane (Parser Lane):   looks for dances, discovers "emotionally poly" exists
 
[16:07] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): It's not to say it was without it's misconceptions and imperfect ideas. I came in believing that a submissive was lower than.. in general. While that was sorted in time, the idea that someone would be into that in prim and proper Utah just didn't compute in my mind (...how wrong I was about that.. but we'll get there later.) I remembered that I had SL. So.. I started to research in 2010, and by 2012 I was exploring inside SL. During that time, I went to several munches in SLC. There's even a regular fetish club in downtown (Still open today).. Sometimes you never know until you look.
 
[16:08] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): Eventually after a move in RL, I find a Mistress here in SL. She does a full transformation on me.. I am on cloud nine, even with the ham hands and flipper feet. Eventually I figure out who I am. Sometimes, things just shouldn't be shared. Telling her I was transgender broke the dynamic, irreparably and forced me back into the closet for a time. That was just over a year. Eventually, I start going to munches in Las Vegas (where I moved) and got into masochism. I kept up with it till about COVID. And now we've come full circle. I returned to SL in 2023, a new discovery as I come back as a trans woman, and explore the world as a Dominant leaning Switch.#
 
[16:09] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   cheers!
 
[16:09] Consuela Hypatia Caldwell (Consuela Caldwell): Oh Salt Lake has alway had a huge LGBTQ community
 
[16:09] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): It does!  Which is interesting considering the culture of Utah
 
[16:09] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): And a significant alt religion segment :)
 
[16:10] Parser Lane (Parser Lane): Wow Miss Wɣŋtɛr, what an adventure!
 
[16:10] Consuela Hypatia Caldwell (Consuela Caldwell): It had the best Lesbian bar, Puss In Boots, for a long time but years ago
 
[16:11] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Fab story, Miss...obviously some lows that You worked through and made You stronger in the end
 
[16:11] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): Absolutely :)
 
[16:11] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Excellent, thank You!
 
[16:11] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Anyone else feel like sharing Y/your "here's how I got into it" tale?
 
[16:12] Seli (Seliara Elton): Puss in Boots is such a good name
 
[16:12] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I told you my naughty journey!  *giggles*
 
[16:13] Seli (Seliara Elton): I remember a gay bar called the Tea Room, which still makes me chuckle
 
[16:13] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ha!
 
[16:13] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): It's ok, the fetish club in downtown was called Area 51..
 
[16:13] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): A scene with a Gray....and not Christian....
 
[16:13] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): It was fitting hehe
 
[16:13] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): Nice Vanni :)
 
[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   grins
 
[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I dunno though, those grays have some exotic bdsm implements
 
[16:14] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): Very heavy into medical play, I hear.
 
[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ♫ rimshot ♫
 
[16:14] Seli (Seliara Elton): You have how many kinds of probes?!?
 
[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lolol
 
[16:16] Seli (Seliara Elton): I keep wondering how many people these days slide into this by finding something like House of Gord on the internet and going "wait what?"
 
[16:16] Seli (Seliara Elton): There's so much more kink available than when it was just dirty magazines you had to buy clandestinely.
 
[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): "I was looking for squash recipes!  Not to BE squashed!!"
 
[16:17] Parser Lane (Parser Lane): House of Gord is *so* good...
 
[16:17] Seli (Seliara Elton): Right? Googling whether your outdoor paint will not adhere properly if you put it on in the summer and you type "Hot Latex Bondage"
 
[16:17] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): LOL!
 
[16:17] Parser Lane (Parser Lane): bondage / bonding, it's an easy mistkae!
 
[16:17] Parser Lane (Parser Lane): *mistake, even
 
[16:17] Joel Lightfoot (JoelJSA Resident):   chuckles
 
[16:18] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): until one goes to Lowe's in a full body latex outfit thinking "This is where I can get a new color, right?"
 
[16:18] Parser Lane (Parser Lane): hehe :)
 
[16:19] Consuela Hypatia Caldwell (Consuela Caldwell): Oh hardware stores, reminds me of great lines from the movie Jenifer's Body
 
[16:19] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   grins
 
[16:19] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): There was also many resources just hiding... IRC chats.. Usenet boards.. most of it hidden away to those not in the know.. the 90's version of the dark web when folks didn't quite grasp the internet.
 
[16:19] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Oh yes
 
[16:19] Seli (Seliara Elton): OMG, IRC chats!
 
[16:20] Seli (Seliara Elton): Firing up Telnet to get kinky
 
[16:20] Seli (Seliara Elton):   giggles
 
[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   trolled #submission then back in the day..that was all my real exposure to anything kinky, but then I thought it more ... a subject of study than anything I'd want to do
 
[16:20] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): Which is funny.. because we've basically come full circle with Discord.. Every "server" it's own IRC server with channels.
 
[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes!
 
[16:21] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and Reddit is basically a nicer form of Usenet
 
[16:21] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): Yup!
 
[16:21] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): r/BDSM? Far easier to find than alt.sex.BDSM
 
[16:21] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lol right?
 
[16:22] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   looks at the cup "So last call...does anyone else wish to share a tale of their entry to our little happy world of naughtyness?"
 
[16:24] Seli (Seliara Elton): My working theory is that this discussion is how the rest of you are getting started.
 
[16:24] Seli (Seliara Elton):   giggles
 
[16:24] Arella Soren (Arella4 Resident): Chuckling
 
[16:25] Seli (Seliara Elton): "This beautiful lady kneeling beside a huge coffee cup started talking and I got intrigued...."
 
[16:25] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   blushes a bit
 
[16:26] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Chats like this do help people start to sort out some feelings and desires, Miss.
 
[16:26] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): Sharing of one's self in a public forum.. still one of many's greatest fears. And the mind loves to play on our in securities.
 
[16:26] Seli (Seliara Elton): I'm being semi-serious, honestly.
 
[16:26] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): But sometimes, listening can be very good too, as to what Vanni just said.
 
[16:26] Seli (Seliara Elton): That's why I love these Klatches and I'm glad to be back
 
[16:26] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   smiles
 
[16:26] Joel Lightfoot (JoelJSA Resident):   looks around,  hoping for more stories
 
[16:27] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Well blame...or thank...Kely...*giggles*...she asked me a few times if I was ready to get them going again..
 
[16:27] Consuela Hypatia Caldwell (Consuela Caldwell): The stories are fun and interesting but mine is kind of boring
 
[16:27] Seli (Seliara Elton): Ohh tell it anyway!
 
[16:27] Grace (GracieMoonheart Resident): mine is too CC
 
[16:27] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): I um.. might have floated the idea to Seph too.. when we were getting Johan sorted for his set on the opposite weeks :)
 
[16:27] Joel Lightfoot (JoelJSA Resident): More boring than mine?
 
[16:27] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I don't beleive anyone's lifestories to be boring
 
[16:27] Consuela Hypatia Caldwell (Consuela Caldwell):   winks in recognition to Grace
 
[16:28] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   beams at Miss Wynter ♥
 
[16:28] Consuela Hypatia Caldwell (Consuela Caldwell): OH my life story is definetly not boring over all
 
[16:28] Zati Kodaly (ZoltanKodaly Resident): CC is not boring, I assue you
 
[16:29] Mx. Ŋaɖi Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ Grɛɣmɣst (NadiLee Halcali): c
 
[16:29] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Miss Nadi, please!
 
[16:29] Mx. Ŋaɖi Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ Grɛɣmɣst (NadiLee Halcali): I thought it was about forced sex in SL then I met Miss Wynter and my eyes were opened very painfully in a very wonderful way
 
[16:29] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade):   smirks.
 
[16:30] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I came here for religious services and then came the forced sex....it was a rather...liberal...congregation...
 
[16:30] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade):   laughs.
 
[16:30] Zati Kodaly (ZoltanKodaly Resident): it's Sunday
 
[16:30] Mx. Ŋaɖi Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ Grɛɣmɣst (NadiLee Halcali): thats how i started too
 
[16:31] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): LIterally...
 
[16:31] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   giggles
 
[16:31] Consuela Hypatia Caldwell (Consuela Caldwell): I had a therapist give me books on BDSM
 
[16:31] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Interesting CC!
 
[16:31] Joel Lightfoot (JoelJSA Resident): My therapist was encouraging, but he didn't give me any books!  ;-(
 
[16:32] Consuela Hypatia Caldwell (Consuela Caldwell): books by Janet Hardy and Dossy Easton
 
[16:32] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): *now that his hour is up he grins*   Well, we were trying to get Vanni in here even before that Wynter ;)
 
[16:32] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): Oh I know.
 
[16:32] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): And thank you for the wonderful Display Johan!
 
[16:32] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   blushes more
 
[16:33] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank You Sir!
 
[16:33] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Seph/Chew and I were hoping she'd return back in September when I first approached them about "Easy Like Sun Morning" sets
 
[16:33] Moxie (AOXOMOXOA Ansar): novels by Jacqueline Carey     Kushiel's stories
 
[16:33] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Looooove Kushiel!
 
[16:33] Consuela Hypatia Caldwell (Consuela Caldwell): Me too, read 3 in the series
 
[16:33] Moxie (AOXOMOXOA Ansar): me too, Vanni
 
[16:33] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): I was about to sarcastically say that Vanni knows /nothing/ about Jacqueline Carey.
 
[16:34] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): heh heh...I was helping to run a sim based on it but...ran into disagreements with the co-owners, to put it very nicely
 
[16:34] Emma (Theo Jiadom): Kushiel and Naamah both are great series. And now there is a new from Cassiels side of the story right?
 
[16:34] Moxie (AOXOMOXOA Ansar): also Tijuana Bibles  buwahaha   High class reading those
 
[16:34] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): One book, yes, "Cassiel's Servant"
 
[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The story of how Jocelin got involved with Phedre from his perspective
 
[16:35] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I liked the first two books, not enough smut for me personally, but as a story I enjoyed them and suggested them to my RL wife who enjoys Romantasy
 
[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The BDSM is part of the story but not central, true, Sir.
 
[16:36] Seli (Seliara Elton):   gasps "Oh I love that word! Never heard of Romantasy, but that rules!"
 
[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): She is a great world-builder though!
 
[16:37] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): SHe is 100% Vanni, once I finish my Adept program I'm going to finish the rest of her series :)  unfortunately my local library only had the first two (or fortunately as those were the two I needed for my syllabus)
 
[16:37] Joel Lightfoot (JoelJSA Resident):   nods emphatically to Vanni
 
[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I'm sorry
 
[16:37] Arella Soren (Arella4 Resident): Smiles at fond memories of that syllabus
 
[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): someone sent an anonymous "I can share"
 
[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I have no idea who that was but please feel free to share!
 
[16:38] Bill Talon (BilliamTalon Resident): I think it was me Vanessa
 
[16:39] Bill Talon (BilliamTalon Resident): My first RL experience happened in the mid 90s when I was stationed in the San Francisco area. I young female sailor I worked with asked me to dirve her to The Trocadero Club one night for an event called Bondage a go-go. It was a fetish club that met there every Wednesday night. She would go play and I would sit and watch. I tried to participate one time but not much happened. A gorgeous Domme pulled me in and gae me a few lashes with a cat o nine tales and then I went back to my table, I continued taking the young lady for a long time until I moved back to Florida. #
 
[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Please, Sir!
 
[16:39] Bill Talon (BilliamTalon Resident): Not much but it was a pleasure to watch
 
[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Wooot!
 
[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Bondage-a-Go-Go..sounds familiar!
 
[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Hi Kahlan, Sydney!
 
[16:40] Bill Talon (BilliamTalon Resident): Yes, I related the event at a Dom meeting here several years ag o and that's how the Xaara event came about
 
[16:40] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I always want to say "Go GO Bondage FLogger! " when I hear Bondage A Go-Go
 
[16:40] Kahlan ღ Dark (wobbles08 Resident): hey hi!
 
[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Awesome!
 
[16:41] Sydney ღ Dark (Badvudo Resident): waves hello to E/everyone
 
[16:41] Grace (GracieMoonheart Resident): really cute outfit Sydney
 
[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank You Sir!
 
[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Ok last call!
 
[16:41] Arella Soren (Arella4 Resident): Hello Kahlan and Sydney
 
[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Anyone want to get a tale in before we call it?
 
[16:41] Sydney ღ Dark (Badvudo Resident): *smiles to Grace and mouths a thank you*
 
[16:42] Joel Lightfoot (JoelJSA Resident):   smiles at Kahlan and Sydney
 
[16:42] Sydney ღ Dark (Badvudo Resident): good morning Mistress Arella
 
[16:42] Moxie (AOXOMOXOA Ansar):   recognises Sydney's Silvery Boho outfit.  yes, that's cute
 
[16:43] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): Hello Kahlan and Sydney :)
 
[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): No worries if Y/you didn't share, we just got back and not everyone is into spinning a tale, so we will call it here.  Thank Y/you all for coming back....we'll be back in two weeks...Sir Johan has His "Easy Like Sunday Morning" event every other week at 8...we are opposite here.
 
[16:43] Kahlan ღ Dark (wobbles08 Resident): Better late than never, fabulous to see everyone
 
[16:43]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): Thank you for attending this discussion.
 
[16:43]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): The tracker is now off and the floor is open to everyone.
 
[16:43] Seli (Seliara Elton): Thanks for hosting, Vanni. Wonderful as always
 
[16:43] Mx. Ŋaɖi Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ Grɛɣmɣst (NadiLee Halcali): thank you Vanni
 
[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We'll have another kinky talk in two weeks!s!