[2021/04/11 08:11] Vanni Cannoli: Good morning and welcome to Koffee Klatch!
[2021/04/11 08:11] Vanni Cannoli: Before I open the discussion, let me post the usual header: Our discussions are in text and are in the usual C/Q/R format, meaning type "C" if you wish to make a comment, "Q" if you have a question, usually directed at a person's comments, and "R" if you wish to retract either your C or your Q. If a person has a question for a specific person on what they said, just say "Q @ [name]"
[2021/04/11 08:12] Vanni Cannoli: We generally will promote questions directed at a person's comment to the top.
[2021/04/11 08:12] Vanni Cannoli: While we are a chatty group, lots of extra chat makes it "noisy," so if we can please keep that to a minimum, it would be very appreciated, thank Y/you!
[2021/04/11 08:12] Vanni Cannoli: The blog for this munch is: https://xaarakoffeeklatch.blogspot.com/ It holds the archive for our munches here starting Jan 3, 2021.
[2021/04/11 08:13] Vanni Cannoli: I hope those observing Easter or Passover, either religiously, time with family and friends, or both, found great meaning and good time with them.
[2021/04/11 08:13] Vanni Cannoli: Now we are back to talk about more perverted topics!
[2021/04/11 08:14] Brianne: finally!
[2021/04/11 08:14] Vanni Cannoli: So in the past few weeks we talked about Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism
[2021/04/11 08:14] Vanni Cannoli: we now go to the middle of the BDSM acronym and talk about D/s, Dominance and Submission
[2021/04/11 08:15] Vanni Cannoli: So here is Vanni's game plan
[2021/04/11 08:16] Vanni Cannoli: Today I would like to have a general discussion on Domination itself....what it is, how Dominants view the world, how both day to day and long term goals are seen and worked through via dominance, and what submissive types find attractive about it.
[2021/04/11 08:16] Vanni Cannoli: Then I'd like to the same thing about submission next week
[2021/04/11 08:17] Vanni Cannoli: then spend the next 2-3 weeks talking about various types of Doms and subs and their connections to each other
[2021/04/11 08:17] Vanni Cannoli: This is what Vanni calls "making her lesson plans" for the coming weeks
[2021/04/11 08:17] Vanni Cannoli: recognizing that it can all go to hell if the "class" goes in other directions :P
[2021/04/11 08:17] ϯ ƝɨcիσƖαѕ McƇυƖƖєη ϯ: wonders if she is a teacher RL
[2021/04/11 08:18] Vanni Cannoli: Maybe, Sir.... *grins*
[2021/04/11 08:18] Ballard: with tenure
[2021/04/11 08:18] Vanni Cannoli: and department chair
[2021/04/11 08:18] Becky Summerland: and department desk, and door
[2021/04/11 08:18] Vanni Cannoli: hey now!
[2021/04/11 08:19] Vanni Cannoli: Don't give away my secrets Miss Becky...besides..that was a couple weeks ago when we talked about "objectification"
[2021/04/11 08:19] Ballard: One might say Vanni does 'top' work at times.
[2021/04/11 08:20] Vanni Cannoli: So first of all, what is Domination? Is it an attitude, is it a role, is it a psychology and sociology? A combination and maybe more?
[2021/04/11 08:20] Vanni Cannoli: When looked at either makes our Dominants here "Dominant," or what sub-types see as "Dominant" what is it? How would it be described?
[2021/04/11 08:21] Vanni Cannoli: Miss Lisa, you get to start the discussion today, please!
[2021/04/11 08:21] Lisa Summerland: Dominance is a way of life. Not just something you do, it is what you are inside. It is your essence, soul, spirit, mind, emotions and feelings. It is what you are and do when no one is watching as well as when crowds are watching. It means holding yourself to a higher standard that pays rich rewards in your personal relationships. It is being assertive. Dominance is taking and being responsible for the well-being and proper training, guidance, and discipline of their subs. It is both Love and Pleasure and a constant joy.
[2021/04/11 08:21] RB Quinn: Well, that's a wrap, then
[2021/04/11 08:21] Lisa Summerland: ℓαυgнѕ .
[2021/04/11 08:21] Vanni Cannoli: Indeed, play party at Blackstone in five minutes
[2021/04/11 08:21] Lisa Summerland: Yes!
[2021/04/11 08:22] Ballard: turns to RB. "Wait, man. Are we going to talk about feelings?"
[2021/04/11 08:22] Vanni Cannoli: LOL!
[2021/04/11 08:22] RB Quinn: hahahaha!!!!
[2021/04/11 08:22] Vanni Cannoli: Seriously, that was really well said, Miss Lisa!
[2021/04/11 08:22] Vanni Cannoli: You definitely feel that Dominance is something within, coming from a deep set of feelings,needs and drives.
[2021/04/11 08:23] Vanessa Jane: q @ Miss Lisa
[2021/04/11 08:23] Vanni Cannoli: As that's a direct question, we will move that up, so go ahead Vanessa
[2021/04/11 08:23] Vanessa Jane: I very much agree with what Miss Lisa said, but I have a question. Do you feel assertiveness is only a Dominant trait?
[2021/04/11 08:23] Vanessa Jane: ty
[2021/04/11 08:25] Lisa Summerland: Not at all Vanessa.......... Assertiveness is an admirable characteristic is both sides of the slash and as a D/s couple works out their relationship via good open communications it is best for both sides to be assertive in their wants, need, =desires, cravings, fantasies and personal feelings
[2021/04/11 08:25] Vanni Cannoli: That you for that Miss Lisa!
[2021/04/11 08:25] Lisa Summerland: ♥
[2021/04/11 08:25] Vanni Cannoli: I'll just add, Vanessa, that everyone has to be assertive at some time in their lives
[2021/04/11 08:26] Vanessa Jane: smiles and nods to Vanni
[2021/04/11 08:26] Vanni Cannoli: A person who is never assertive is a doormat and will be stomped on
[2021/04/11 08:26] Vanni Cannoli: A person, on the other hand, who never puts the brakes on and takes a more passive role at times will be a bully and hated.
[2021/04/11 08:26] Vanni Cannoli: So I think when looking at D and s here, it's generalities
[2021/04/11 08:26] Brianne: 'doormat'? More objectification talk?
[2021/04/11 08:27] Vanni Cannoli: That's the object here!
[2021/04/11 08:27] Vanni Cannoli: points
[2021/04/11 08:27] Brianne: ♫ rimshot ♫
[2021/04/11 08:27] Vanni Cannoli: Thank you!
[2021/04/11 08:27] Vanni Cannoli: We'll be here all week!
[2021/04/11 08:27] Vanni Cannoli: Thank you Miss Lisa and Vanessa for your question.
[2021/04/11 08:28] Vanni Cannoli: Next we come to Sir Nicholas, please
[2021/04/11 08:30] ϯ ƝɨcիσƖαѕ McƇυƖƖєη ϯ: As i look around i may be the only Gay here but the bottoms can be assertive
[2021/04/11 08:31] Vanni Cannoli: So Sir, your view is that gay bottoms can be very assertive? Or do You think that is an attitude of many bottoms across the spectrum of sexuality?
[2021/04/11 08:32] ϯ ƝɨcիσƖαѕ McƇυƖƖєη ϯ: i think if the bottoms know what they want they will seek it out and be sure to find a way to get what they need
[2021/04/11 08:32] ϯ ƝɨcիσƖαѕ McƇυƖƖєη ϯ: they can be sneaky lol
[2021/04/11 08:32] Vanni Cannoli: Some can!
[2021/04/11 08:33] Vanni Cannoli: makes my Sneak roll DC 35
[2021/04/11 08:33] Lysana Blackwing: giggles
[2021/04/11 08:33] ϯ ƝɨcիσƖαѕ McƇυƖƖєη ϯ: giggles
[2021/04/11 08:33] Vanni Cannoli: Sorry, Dungeons and Dragons humor...
[2021/04/11 08:33] ϯ ƝɨcիσƖαѕ McƇυƖƖєη ϯ: i got it
[2021/04/11 08:33] Vanni Cannoli: <-- Geek!
[2021/04/11 08:33] ϯ ƝɨcիσƖαѕ McƇυƖƖєη ϯ: <== dungeon Master
[2021/04/11 08:33] Vanni Cannoli: That would of course lead to a discussion of how sneaky is "acceptable" and then if and when it leads to "topping from the bottom"
[2021/04/11 08:34] Becky Summerland: <--cute
[2021/04/11 08:34] Lysana Blackwing: has a sudden image of a Xaara tabletop RPG group
[2021/04/11 08:34] Vanni Cannoli: but that's a different discussion, one worth having soon though
[2021/04/11 08:34] ϯ ƝɨcիσƖαѕ McƇυƖƖєη ϯ: aka power bottom
[2021/04/11 08:34] ϯ ƝɨcիσƖαѕ McƇυƖƖєη ϯ: yes please
[2021/04/11 08:34] Vanni Cannoli: Thank You Sir for that, always good to keep in mind.
[2021/04/11 08:35] Vanni Cannoli: Let's go to Master Ballard, please.
[2021/04/11 08:35] Ballard: Often there is an idea that a sub has to be a wet blanket of simpering need and surrender. Or, as we say it, a doormat to be trod upon. Personally I find that behavior to be tiring and off putting. Anyone that knows my clan will certify that my girls are all strong, and smart. Even the slaviest of them has her own mind and will express it. This actually assists me in my leadership. Doormats tend to retain heat until they burst. Only the free exchange of communication can lead to a stable situation. As a sapiosexual I require such an exchange. #
[2021/04/11 08:35] ϯ ƝɨcիσƖαѕ McƇυƖƖєη ϯ: Amen
[2021/04/11 08:35] Vanni Cannoli: yay!
[2021/04/11 08:36] harry: nods in agreement
[2021/04/11 08:36] Ḱιrιn StαrۣۣۜLιght Serevι: Well Said
[2021/04/11 08:36] Vanessa Jane: smiles, well said Sir Ballard
[2021/04/11 08:36] Vanni Cannoli: So for you, Sir, Dominance is a dance with smart, in some ways assertive women that don't need your endless "mother henning".
[2021/04/11 08:36] Ballard: Exactly. A nice ass helps too.
[2021/04/11 08:36] Vanni Cannoli: Indeed!
[2021/04/11 08:36] Vanni Cannoli: Now to be fair, there are some that *do* like that dynamic
[2021/04/11 08:36] Ballard: I mean -0 they need to be able to put up with my sense of humor
[2021/04/11 08:37] Vanni Cannoli: Where the sub is 100% dependent on the will of their Dominant.
[2021/04/11 08:37] Peaches Svenska: smiled, her devotion evident in her eyes as she looked at him and squirmed on the arm of the chair
[2021/04/11 08:37] Vanni Cannoli: And so that's fine.
[2021/04/11 08:37] Vanni Cannoli: To each their own, and as long as there is consent and it works for all parties, it's good.
[2021/04/11 08:37] Abraham: amen
[2021/04/11 08:38] Vanni Cannoli: When we talk about D and s "types" and connections we can come back to that idea of "how dependent is desired?"
[2021/04/11 08:38] Vanni Cannoli: Thank You Master Ballard!
[2021/04/11 08:38] Vanni Cannoli: Master RB, You have the floor please!
[2021/04/11 08:38] RB Quinn: The best submissives, in my view, have a feistiness borne of self-confidence and, yes, assertiveness. Looks meaningfully at his Taree and smiles. #
[2021/04/11 08:39] Lisa Summerland: Well said RB ♥
[2021/04/11 08:39] Vanni Cannoli: May I ask a follow up to that, Master RB?
[2021/04/11 08:39] RB Quinn: I'd be upset if you didn't, gorgeous
[2021/04/11 08:40] Vanni Cannoli: So do you feel then that Your role as the Dominant in the lives of Your girls/family is enhanced and made easier by the fact they have that confidence in them? That You can direct them as You want, and it doesn't toss in problems to have subs that can think for themselves?
[2021/04/11 08:42] RB Quinn: I do agree with Ballard's points, so yes it is easier for me. But the biggest benefit, to me, is simply that by being willing to challenge when I am about to fuck up, it vastly reduces the number of times that I do.
[2021/04/11 08:42] Ballard: All valid points.
[2021/04/11 08:42] Vanni Cannoli: Well said Sir!
[2021/04/11 08:42] Becky Summerland: knowing you and your lovelies, you really are living what you just said RB... and I am always amazed when seeing your family together
[2021/04/11 08:43] Vanni Cannoli: As long as it doesn't reduce the number of times You...uh..never mind.
[2021/04/11 08:43] Lysana Blackwing: cackles
[2021/04/11 08:43] RB Quinn: hahaha...
[2021/04/11 08:43] Vanni Cannoli: giggles
[2021/04/11 08:43] RB Quinn: Thank you, Becky... *blows her a kiss*
[2021/04/11 08:43] Becky Summerland: ♥
[2021/04/11 08:43] Vanni Cannoli: Very well said Master RB!
[2021/04/11 08:43] Vanni Cannoli: Thank You!
[2021/04/11 08:45] Vanni Cannoli: Brianne!
[2021/04/11 08:45] Brianne: oh, already?
[2021/04/11 08:46] Brianne: ok....
[2021/04/11 08:46] Brianne: I just want to add a note of appreciation for Dominants. Some wise people once told me that a Dominant is like The Giving Tree (in one aspect) and I really believe that's true. I understand better that a both D and s have responsibilities but I'm fascinated but how Dominants can be such fountains of goodness. They can make the pieces snap into place, or conduct the orchestra. And sometimes, watching her devious mind work, just before some surprise, is full of thrilling anticipation. (It's why I love to nurture and serve such a person.) It's an amazing talent to be Dominant. I'm not trying to suck-up, it just strikes me me as a truism, from my perspective.#
[2021/04/11 08:46] Vanni Cannoli: ♥♥♥
[2021/04/11 08:47] Lisa Summerland: ♥
[2021/04/11 08:47] Vanni Cannoli: Dominants and Submissives need each other, and I don't think it's improper to show that appreciation for each other
[2021/04/11 08:47] Becky Summerland: Anne, so very well said, much respect ♥
[2021/04/11 08:50] Vanni Cannoli: Well said Brianne!
[2021/04/11 08:50] Vanni Cannoli: And I don't think our Doms mind sincere flattery ;)
[2021/04/11 08:50] Brianne: ty, Vanni
[2021/04/11 08:51] Vanni Cannoli: We go to Pure please, go ahead Pure
[2021/04/11 08:51] Pure: that is in my picks:
[2021/04/11 08:51] Pure: A D/s relationship is music! Master is the musician and the submissive his instrument.
It's not just about sex (or BDSM). It is a relationship made of respect, sharing and trust.
HE knows better than anyone who I am, what I need to be better, stronger, more courageous. HE's the one who knows how to protect me.
HE has my admiration and my gratitude.
HE knows how to touch my heart, reach my soul.
[2021/04/11 08:52] Brianne: Fantastically true!
[2021/04/11 08:52] Pure: no dominance, no sub, no lifestyle..all is link
[2021/04/11 08:52] Pure: #
[2021/04/11 08:53] Vanni Cannoli: might add "HE knows how to smack my ass" at the end, but that's just a personal touch.
[2021/04/11 08:53] Lisa Summerland: So well said Pure ♥
[2021/04/11 08:53] Lysana Blackwing: hehehhehehe
[2021/04/11 08:53] Brianne: ♫ rimshot ♫
[2021/04/11 08:53] Vanni Cannoli: Thank you!
[2021/04/11 08:53] Dijana384: Hugs Pure
[2021/04/11 08:54] Vanni Cannoli: It really captures the essence well Pure
[2021/04/11 08:54] Lysana Blackwing: If we're the instrument, clearly we're in the percussion section.
[2021/04/11 08:54] Becky Summerland: "Knows how to smack ass" that would make a good title too
[2021/04/11 08:54] Becky Summerland: lol Lys!
[2021/04/11 08:54] Vanni Cannoli: Vanessa, you have a comment please
[2021/04/11 08:55] Vanessa Jane: I am wondering if a core component of being a Dominant is to have a drive to leadership, with all the responsibilities and cares that a true leader takes on readily as part of that. Power with compassion, care, nurturing, the calling to protect - as well as the joy of control. Many submissives are very capable, may even work in positions of responsibility, power, leadership even, but they do so not as natural leaders, but somehow 'in service' even though they are in positions of authority. What do O/others think? done
[2021/04/11 08:56] Vanni Cannoli: I've spoken a bunch of times about my RL friend who manages a Starbucks, and goes home to be a TPE slave to her Master. She NEEDS that, it's how she recharges
[2021/04/11 08:56] Brianne: c @ Vanessa
[2021/04/11 08:56] Vanni Cannoli: as she expends a lot of energy to take a leadership role
[2021/04/11 08:56] Vanni Cannoli: so I definitely agree with you there, Vanessa.
[2021/04/11 08:56] Vanni Cannoli: Brianne you have a comment directly to Vanessa so go ahead please
[2021/04/11 08:57] Brianne: I agree, Vanessa, we all must take initiative but a Dominant tends to expand that into Leadership.
[2021/04/11 08:57] Vanni Cannoli: Thank you Vanessa and Brianne!
[2021/04/11 08:58] Vanni Cannoli: I imagine a few of the comments coming will expand on that
[2021/04/11 08:59] Vanni Cannoli: Lysana, you are up please!
[2021/04/11 08:59] Lysana Blackwing: Thanks, Vanni
[2021/04/11 09:01] Lysana Blackwing: Using myself as an example, there are indeed subs who can take on management roles successfully. I've seen it play out for me in RL, where a boss whose style resonates with mine and lets me know I'm appreciated gets a lot from me in return. But I am also one who needs to let go of the reins. Running the whole show is not my strength. #
[2021/04/11 09:02] Vanni Cannoli: Agreed!
[2021/04/11 09:02] Vanni Cannoli: I'm an effective Department Chair because I don't have to micro-manage anyone
[2021/04/11 09:02] Vanni Cannoli: it's a simple job
[2021/04/11 09:02] Lysana Blackwing: That!
[2021/04/11 09:02] Vanni Cannoli: I could never be a manager in a commercial or financial or office setting
[2021/04/11 09:03] Lysana Blackwing: I've been a volunteer Division Co-Chair. That works with the right co for me.
[2021/04/11 09:03] Abraham: c
[2021/04/11 09:03] Lysana Blackwing: Shared buck-stopping means it's reasonable energy flow.
[2021/04/11 09:03] Vanni Cannoli: Right!
[2021/04/11 09:03] Vanni Cannoli: hi-5s Lysana
[2021/04/11 09:04] Lysana Blackwing: high-fives back
[2021/04/11 09:04] Vanni Cannoli: Thanks for that, agree 100%
[2021/04/11 09:04] Vanni Cannoli: Back to Sir Ballard please
[2021/04/11 09:04] Ballard: "I feel that we did not really delve into what attracts subs to a given Dominant. I'd like to hear more about that." takes out his note pad and begins to record names. "Attraction in SL in general is a bit of a mystery. A nice avatar is not a good indicator of what lies beneath. What more is there that fires the imagination of a submissive?" #
[2021/04/11 09:04] Vanni Cannoli: If any sub-types would like to answer, go right ahead
[2021/04/11 09:05] Brianne: Sir, it's something like "I love it when a plan comes together."
[2021/04/11 09:06] Dijana384: the more intelligent, well spoken, sense of humor, fun loving?!?!? swoons.....
[2021/04/11 09:06] Vanni Cannoli: If you want to answer Master Ballard's question, go right ahead, no C is required
[2021/04/11 09:06] Lysana Blackwing: Well, Master Ballard, I'm sort of spiritual about that in here. There's a spark I can sense somehow. That quiver in my gut, the need to sit upright a bit more or more to the point, kneel. Knowing is a split-second thing.
[2021/04/11 09:06] Peaches Svenska: smiled and nodded. "thank you Vanni. You asked what subs found attractive, what draws us to a dominant. I can't speak for anyone else but I have a pretty good track record when it comes to recognizing a true Dominant. I can't explain why or how I do but in my mind's eye, Its like I have rabbit ear antennae that rise up out of my head (like the old show 'MY FAVORITE MARTIAN') which send vibes triggering a "hmm..i'd like to know more about him" switch, or a "RUN FOR THE HILLS!!" switch. It just doesn’t take long to recognize a player from a real Dom. Sometimes I've been fooled for a short time but it really doesn’t take long to see true colors. I'm drawn to that "THING' dom's exude. That thing that is so hard to put into words but so very evident and real. What draws me, is the power of their words as i get to know them. Their words and actions paint a very clear picture of the validity of their claim to be a Dominant, not just a player.
[2021/04/11 09:06] Brianne: nods in agreement with what I'm seeing
[2021/04/11 09:06] Vanessa Jane: realness, authenticity, not putting on an act, but letting the real dominance shine through, but as a real human being
[2021/04/11 09:06] Lisa Summerland: /mmmmsss....... that spark also flares within the Domanants.......
[2021/04/11 09:06] Ballard: Would you say the 'spark' comes out of how a person emotes, or presents them self?
[2021/04/11 09:07] Lysana Blackwing: Some of each, Sir.
[2021/04/11 09:07] Dijana384: Yes Vanessa!
[2021/04/11 09:07] Dee Wolfe: For me Master Ballard, what attracted me to my Master *smiles to Master* is that he was different than most of the Dominants I have known. He's my guide and keeps me in the right direction but he's also fun loving and has a sense of humor. He makes me want to be a better submissive.
[2021/04/11 09:07] Brianne: applauds
[2021/04/11 09:07] Daelenie McMillan: I can agree with all of that so far. A good Dominant isn't half assed
[2021/04/11 09:08] Brianne: yes, a full ass is better
[2021/04/11 09:08] Daelenie McMillan: they fully assed :P
[2021/04/11 09:08] Vanni Cannoli: LOL!
[2021/04/11 09:08] Lysana Blackwing: There's a language to how we make our avatars, even as it can translate differently. Then how the person addresses others and shares info can confirm what the solar plexus is tugging at me about.
[2021/04/11 09:08] RB Quinn: writes carefully "Don't be half-assed"
[2021/04/11 09:09] Vanni Cannoli: OK I hope You got good notes there Master Ballard!
[2021/04/11 09:09] harry: i find myself asking if the other person is Dom'ing me or i them. Do they show a confidence i want to follow or is it the other way around
[2021/04/11 09:10] Ballard: Thank you all.
[2021/04/11 09:10] harry: With Miss Sher, i wan to follow her, not the other way around
[2021/04/11 09:10] Vanni Cannoli: this will go in the log that goes on the webpage so everyone can go back and read it all
[2021/04/11 09:10] Vanni Cannoli: we have what appear to be a few more comments so let's move on
[2021/04/11 09:10] Lysana Blackwing: I mean, consider how we met, Master Ballard. No direct communiation between us but I couldn't stop looking at you. *smiles*
[2021/04/11 09:10] Vanni Cannoli: Teddy you have a question?
[2021/04/11 09:11] Teddy: i like doms that make me feel safe an free to be me.that dont expect huge things from me.cause theyre in charge an can rely on them to make all decisions.an so i dont need to worry about anything. can just be puppy an think of puppy things an reacting to things like puppy would.nothing big an human to think about.an theyre comforting an fun an playful. it feels nice an relaxing. is that normal or apuppyish?
[2021/04/11 09:11] Vanni Cannoli: I think just substitute "submissive" for "puppy" in most of that and it's largely the same, Teddy
[2021/04/11 09:11] Teddy: okies ^^
[2021/04/11 09:12] Vanni Cannoli: Go ahead please Miss Becky
[2021/04/11 09:12] Lysana Blackwing: nods. "especially when I'm in Tigger mode."
[2021/04/11 09:12] Ballard: Teddy, if you need to pretend and cannot relax, then you will never be happy. Be yourself and things will either work out, or not.
[2021/04/11 09:12] Vanni Cannoli: "Your top is made out of rubber? Your bottom is made out of springs?"
[2021/04/11 09:12] Becky Summerland: I see what you just described everyday at the farm Teddy, you see them also at the farm and at 8 pines... most ponies are like that love ♥
[2021/04/11 09:12] Lysana Blackwing: Ask Master Erik, Vanni. ;)
[2021/04/11 09:12] Teddy: Yaps! :P
[2021/04/11 09:13] Daelenie McMillan: whispers: Tiggers are wonderful things!
[2021/04/11 09:13] Vanni Cannoli: Thanks for the question!
[2021/04/11 09:13] Vanni Cannoli: Sir Abraham, You have a comment, please go ahead, Sir
[2021/04/11 09:13] Abraham: Based on earlier comments which shows that subs are highly capable people who can manage and plan but prefer direction and leadership themselves by someone more confident than themselves.
[2021/04/11 09:14] Lysana Blackwing: tilts her head, pondering
[2021/04/11 09:14] Lysana Blackwing: c to Abraham
[2021/04/11 09:14] Vanni Cannoli: Go ahead Lysana
[2021/04/11 09:16] Lysana Blackwing: "More confident" is perhaps an overly broad generalization in my experience. "More willing/capable" definitely fits. I'm personally confident to the point of brazenness if I let myself and it's not an area I'm struggling with. But my Master has his struggle areas also. Ours just happen to dovetail and I don't have to lead hm by the nose because he handles it differently.
[2021/04/11 09:16] Lysana Blackwing: #
[2021/04/11 09:17] RB Quinn: nods.. figuring Lysana would handle that better *winks to her*
[2021/04/11 09:17] Becky Summerland: very well said Lys
[2021/04/11 09:17] Vanni Cannoli: I agree with that comment, Lysana, but I also think that the very thought of "leading" would freak some subs to their core. "Support" yes.
[2021/04/11 09:17] Abraham: smiles and winks to both
[2021/04/11 09:17] Lysana Blackwing: Leading Master? AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH
[2021/04/11 09:17] Lysana Blackwing: No.
[2021/04/11 09:18] Vanni Cannoli: at least leading in that relationship
[2021/04/11 09:18] Becky Summerland: lol
[2021/04/11 09:18] Vanni Cannoli: Which is what I'm sure you meant anyway
[2021/04/11 09:18] Lysana Blackwing: IF a dominant makes me feel like I need to lead, I do not kneel there.
[2021/04/11 09:18] Vanni Cannoli: go ahead Vanessa
[2021/04/11 09:18] Vanni Cannoli: good point Lysana!
[2021/04/11 09:19] Dijana384: true!
[2021/04/11 09:19] Vanessa Jane: Last year my Master came close to losing his home to the fires in Oregon. It was a terrifying ten days for him, leaving him unusually vulnerable. I was the strong one then, not as leader but as rock and support. That was my service to him then. So I agree, strong in support if needed. one
[2021/04/11 09:19] Vanessa Jane: done
[2021/04/11 09:19] Lysana Blackwing: ding ding ding *points at Vanessa*
[2021/04/11 09:19] Vanni Cannoli: Well said!
[2021/04/11 09:20] Brianne: nods to Vanessa in total agreement an dunderstanding.
[2021/04/11 09:20] Vanni Cannoli: omg
[2021/04/11 09:20] Dijana384: agrees completely Vanessa
[2021/04/11 09:20] Vanni Cannoli: we have total nested loops here!
[2021/04/11 09:20] Pure: Dominant are also human
[2021/04/11 09:20] Lisa Summerland: nods
[2021/04/11 09:20] Lisa Summerland: and make mistakes
[2021/04/11 09:20] Vanni Cannoli: (reply Vanessa (reply Vanni (reply Lysana (Comment ++))))
[2021/04/11 09:20] Brianne: welp, Vanni, there goes the space-time continuum.
[2021/04/11 09:20] Lysana Blackwing: So we're replicating SL in microcosm?
[2021/04/11 09:20] Vanni Cannoli: Go ahead uhh...Miss Becky
[2021/04/11 09:21] Vanni Cannoli: Hey I made sure to close all the parentheses
[2021/04/11 09:21] Vanni Cannoli: I'm a good Schemer!
[2021/04/11 09:21] Vanni Cannoli: *programming joke*
[2021/04/11 09:21] Becky Summerland: very much so Vanessa, and I'd add that since your are his, you are prolly the person who with time got to know him the best... which, in my opinion, makes you the best person to be his rock when he needs... thank you for your comment#
[2021/04/11 09:21] Lysana Blackwing: There's a misplaced semicolon. ;)
[2021/04/11 09:22] Consuela Hypatia Caldwell: Is it ok to just go ahead? I haven't said anything yet and I was up next a while ago with other being put ahead in the queue
[2021/04/11 09:22] Vanni Cannoli: People keep adding comments CC!
[2021/04/11 09:22] Becky Summerland: sorry CC! ♥
[2021/04/11 09:22] Lysana Blackwing: She has been in the queue a while, though ㋡
[2021/04/11 09:22] Vanni Cannoli: Let's get to CC
[2021/04/11 09:22] Vanni Cannoli: Go ahead CC
[2021/04/11 09:22] Consuela Hypatia Caldwell: To answer Sir Ballards Question, I find intelligence draws me to a dominant. Even more than whether they are bossy. Also, have similar interests, which I guess is like that with a lover as well. But if a Domme isn't at least as intelligent as me, then I can't respect them. They also have to be very empathic to the point where they can know what I need or anticipate my needs. There are other things I can add but I'm not that focused today.
[2021/04/11 09:23] Brianne: applauds
[2021/04/11 09:23] Becky Summerland: ♥ CC
[2021/04/11 09:23] Pure: NICE
[2021/04/11 09:23] Brianne: thumbs up for "very empathic"
[2021/04/11 09:23] Vanni Cannoli: Nicely said, CC!
[2021/04/11 09:24] Lysana Blackwing: Empathic and perceptive. One of my favorite four-word sentences is, "I know you, mine."
[2021/04/11 09:26] Vanni Cannoli: Then Dae you get the final word today!
[2021/04/11 09:27] Daelenie McMillan: Thank you, it's about my earlier comment
[2021/04/11 09:27] Daelenie McMillan: save vs wall o text AT -3 PLEASE
[2021/04/11 09:27] Daelenie McMillan: I need to apologize if my half assed comment was misunderstood. The meaning is, I have met a lot of people that didn't know what being a Dominant really is about. They played and faked it but in the end they were half assed about it and either not fully committed or they were just playing the role.
Like Miss Lisa said, it's something intrinsic to the person. you either are dominant or not. even those who Switch, when they’re on a Dominant kick, they are Dominant. I am sure you all understand that mindset. So if I get attracted to someone it's in their personality, the way they say things and yes a little in the way they create their AV too, that shows attention to detail and a care about themselves. I could go on but I don't want to bore anyone further. Thank you :) #
[2021/04/11 09:28] Vanni Cannoli: You're completely correct Dae
[2021/04/11 09:28] Abraham: yes
[2021/04/11 09:29] Dijana384: love that Dae
[2021/04/11 09:29] Vanni Cannoli: The line between Top and Dominant is thin, but it's real
[2021/04/11 09:29] Ballard: Dae, we may have had fun with the term, but we understood, mm and I agree completely.
[2021/04/11 09:29] Lysana Blackwing: Yes.
[2021/04/11 09:29] Vanni Cannoli: So well said!
[2021/04/11 09:29] Peaches Svenska: perfect Dae
[2021/04/11 09:29] ŁγĄŁŁ: remember sl is full of wannabe Doms that have no clue except what easy pray they find in sl
[2021/04/11 09:29] Vanni Cannoli: Agreed Master Lyall!
[2021/04/11 09:29] Vanni Cannoli: Thank Y/you all so much for this discussion
[2021/04/11 09:30] Vanni Cannoli: We'll delve into Submission next week
[2021/04/11 09:30] Vanni Cannoli: And then create a typology of D/s types
[2021/04/11 09:30] Vanni Cannoli: Please toss some love in the tip jar on the bar if you can, to keep our happy and kinky home going
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