Sunday, April 20, 2025

"S is for Sadism!" -- April 20, 2025

 

[15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Good morning and welcome to Koffee Klatch!

 

[15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Our discussions are in text and are in the usual C/Q/R format, meaning type "C" if you wish to make a comment, "Q" if you have a question, usually directed at a person's comments, and "R" if you wish to retract either your C or your Q.  If a person has a question for a specific person on what they said, just say "Q @ [name]"

 

[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We tend to go in the order received, however, we generally will promote questions directed at a person's comment to the top.  The handy-dandy giant coffee cup in the middle will keep track of the order.

 

[15:43] Sydney Dark (Badvudo Resident): hi Callie ... very cute bunny

 

[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If a person asks a question of the group, there is no need to put in a "C" to reply, replies to the question will be open.  Just answer, or we'll have a bunch of "Cs" at the bottom.

 

[15:43] Callie Saint (CallieRaziel Resident):   smiles at Sydney. "Thankies!"

 

[15:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The archive for this Klatch can be found here:  https://xaarakoffeeklatch.blogspot.com/  It houses current and many older discussions.

 

[15:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): With that out of the way, we'll begin.

 

[15:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): As usual a bit of exposition to start

 

[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): feel free to put in a C or a Q as I spout off and then we'll get into the queue

 

[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Two weeks ago we finished our Discussion of Discipline in the BDSM acronym

 

[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Having gone over Bondage two weeks prior

 

[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So far the topics have been Bondage (yummy), Funishment (yummy) and Punishment for behavior modification (not so yummy)

 

[15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We now go to the two ending letters in the BDSM acronym, S/M, Sado-Masochism

 

[15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Today we talk about Sadism, in two weeks Masochism, and then will get into some sub-topics on this

 

[15:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sadism is rather hard to understand for people IN our community, never mind vanilla folks OUT of our community.

 

[15:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): It's very stereotyped.  People think Sadism is some of mad use of fists and pipes and what not to beat a subject into jelly or what have you.

 

[15:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That is not Sadism, that's insanity in a legal description.

 

[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sadism is obviously as a word derived from the Marquis de Sade, who was imprisoned for lewd behaviors.

 

[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): He was a self-described "libertine" who believed that social rules were nonsense and that one's desire for pleasure always trumps what society thinks you should do.  Anyone that has read the published work "101 Nights of Sodomy" knows what I'm talking about.

 

[15:49] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): reading it was torture enough

 

[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And in that book he hadn't really gotten to the nasty stuff he had planned (it was published with the book as an outline only)...it's pretty horrible.

 

[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So while Sadism certainly bears his name, we don't do what he suggested.

 

[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The online Dominant Guide gives a clearer and more contemporary definition of sadism:  "Within the BDSM community, the Dominant is most often the sadist, and the  submissive is generally the masochist (who derives pleasure from receiving pain). Also in the BDSM community, unlike most societal descriptions in the medical and psychological community, sadism is widely accepted as a healthy expression of inflicting pain in a safe, sane, and consensual manner to a masochist who seeks such activities as a form of emotional release or sexual pleasure."

 

[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Let's be clear about something here....while this above definition uses Dominant and submissive, a Dominant does NOT have to be a Sadist to be a good Dominant, nor does a submissive have to be a Masochist to be a good sub/slave.  S/M and D/s are two different things.

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): A very healthy D/s connection can have zero S/M in it.

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Or lots!  It's the person’s choice!

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sadism is not purely physical either.  Different things turn on different Bottoms, so one Bottom might like being hit with a paddle until his or her ass and thighs are black and blue, while another may not want any physical pain at all, but really gets off on being totally objectified and humiliated in front of people.

 

[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Today our discussion will be more keyed to physical sadism, and we'll get into more specific types in the coming weeks.

 

[15:52] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild):   nods

 

[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I will ask Dijanna if she would be willing to come by when we discuss Humiliation in a few weeks

 

[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): She's quite the expert on that topic (no joking aside)

 

[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): or all joking I mean lol

 

[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): One last thing and then I will take comments.  And this is very very important.

 

[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We are NOT discussing a psychological condition here where a person just acts sadistically toward people minus consent.

 

[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That is Sadistic Personality Disorder, and its closely related cousin, Antisocial Personality Disorder (although they are different in how they operate).

 

[15:54] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So if Y/you see some person going about saying they're a "sadist" who acts like a total a-hole to people around them, they're not a BDSM sadist, they are a person with a personality disorder that makes them into a thug.

 

[15:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Ok with all this said...are You a Sadist?  Do you like doing horrific, nasty stuff to S-Types that we...er....THEY like so much?  What is it about sadism that turns us on in this community?  Or are you one that avoids Sadism in relationships?  What does the August Assembly think about this topic?

 

[15:56] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Miss Sara when You are ready please!

 

[15:56] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): Thanks Dollie

 

[15:57] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): While I am not a Sadist, it is something that I am researching for my Adept candidacy.

 

[15:57] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): So I preface my comment with that

 

[15:58] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): I think the appeal is the power exchange dynamic.  At least in part.  It also can help a sub deal with past traumas in a "safe and consensual" manner.  I stress consensual in that.

 

[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   nods big time

 

[15:59] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): Any D/s or S/m activity must be consensual.  It's safe because the sub has the power to stop the scene if necessary.

 

[15:59] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): 100% Miss Sara

 

[16:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I'd also add that the Top doing the sadistic acts needs to keep track of their charge.

 

[16:00] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): YES!

 

[16:00] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): the Top absolutely needs to watch and listen for verbal and non verbal clues

 

[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If a bottom/sub goes into subspace during the S/M scene they may be floating in a sea of neurotransmitters and can't safeword.  I find it unethical to continue a scene that involves S/M further.

 

[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): if that is happening

 

[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But I can't speak for everyone.

 

[16:01] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild):   nods

 

[16:01] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): 1000%

 

[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank You Miss!

 

[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sir RB please!

 

[16:03] RB (RBQuinn Resident): I agree with Sara's points.  I have myself zero interest in inflicting pain of any kind.  But I have had subs who sometimes need to submit to a stronger, dominant power, to access their submission fully.  I am a service Dom, and I am happy to provide that when it is needed for my sub to be fully happy.  I do confess, though, to enjoying the feeling of ownership and control that comes from inflicting mild pain/bondage/.... as a way for each of us to 'feel' the D/s part of our relationship.#

 

[16:04] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): It's quite lovely!

 

[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But yes, we also need to remember that *Dominants* have limits and they should not be pushed or manipulated into doing things that they find distaseful....but smaller things done and found to be enjoyable can lead to potentially "bigger" things....

 

[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If you took me 15 years ago and said "Vanni, you will enjoy going to RL BDSM clubs and smacking around Bottoms/sub" I'd have said "Oh yeah, right..you're nuts."...now...*cough*

 

[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Or being beat on occasionally *cough*

 

[16:07] Callie Saint (CallieRaziel Resident):   smirks

 

[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So Sir, I'm glad You are happy to provide what Your subs need to be happy, and find happiness in it! *passes over the single tail for His later consideration and winks at Connie...8 :P

 

[16:07] RB (RBQuinn Resident): laughs

 

[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank You, Sir!

 

[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We go to Rune, please!

 

[16:08] Rune (FatedPickle Resident): Thank you Vanni

 

[16:08] Rune (FatedPickle Resident): As a switch and a sadomasochist, I can offer that the two sides of that coin. I hit sub space with pain pretty easily, and completely forget where I am. To the point that as has been mentioned by Miss Sara and others, it can be dangerous if the Top isn't paying attention.  When I top, I look for those cues myself because I'm acutely aware of the fact that getting lost in sub space can equal permanent injury. Verbal cues aren't even possible sometimes. I have forgotten my safe work completely during S/m play when I was bottoming. You have to pay attention to everything you are doing and pre-negotiate how far the scene will go and end it when you get to that point... sometimes even when the sub is wanting you to continue. I think pre-negotiation is important with this type of play as it is for many types ... but maybe even more so here.

 

[16:08] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): YES!

 

[16:08] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): 1000x YES

 

[16:09] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild):   nods

 

[16:09] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That's why my rule is..."waiting for a safeword isn't usually safe"

 

[16:09] RB (RBQuinn Resident):   beams as his Fairy joins us

 

[16:10] Rune (FatedPickle Resident):   nods

 

[16:10] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And yes subs, you not only can...you MUST negotiate the scene.

 

[16:10] - ̗̀ Žôę Mαɢιc   ̖́- (zoemorning Resident):   smiles

 

[16:10] Callie Saint (CallieRaziel Resident):   wiggles in her kneel at the thoughts.

 

[16:10] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sure with an established partner that's been done, y'all know each other and where to go and where to stop.

 

[16:10] Connie (Constanse Levenque):   smiles and squeezes her sisters hand

 

[16:10] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But new play partners....Negotiation is a 100% must.

 

[16:11] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And if a Top or Dom  says "real subs don't negotiate, you let Me do what I want..."...RUN, not walk, to the nearest exit.

 

[16:11] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I'm sure no Dominant in this room or most of Xaara is like that.

 

[16:11] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): smiles

 

[16:11] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But IF you hear that, run.

 

[16:12] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That's Sadistic Personality Disorder speaking

 

[16:12] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Rune, thank you for that, it was totally accurate and on point.

 

[16:12] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ♥♥♥

 

[16:12] Rune (FatedPickle Resident):

 

[16:13] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We go to Sir Johan, please!

 

[16:13] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I never really considered myself a Sadist, though I am beginning to realize that I perhaps do have a somewhat sadistic side to me.   I don't enjoy causing pain itself;  but I do enjoy the control and domination and as my Sydney says I can be very "Fiendish" and I enjoy playfully and not playfully,  torturing her in ways she both dislikes and alternately LOVES and craves from me.     I've been researching more humiliation play thanks to my Adept readings on "Enough to make you blush" and "The Emotional PlayHandbook" and I find that I am more enjoying the squirming and affect the play has on my partners.  Plus the red marks from spankings and croppings look just SO damn sexy on mesh bodies :)   #Done

 

[16:13] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): YYYYyeeeeesssssssssssssss

 

[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   has a whole set of spank "clothing" for such occasions....*cough*

 

[16:14] - ̗̀ Žôę Mαɢιc   ̖́- (zoemorning Resident):   giggles

 

[16:14] Sydney Dark (Badvudo Resident): *quietly blushes and smiles to her Master*

 

[16:14] RB (RBQuinn Resident):   smiles warmly across the room

 

[16:15] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And yes, S/M does not have to be physical...humiliation play is another option...and also has to be done with care.

 

[16:15] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We will get to that in May.

 

[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   looks over at Sir Johan and Sydney and winks ;)

 

[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank You Sir!

 

[16:17] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Back to Miss Sara please

 

[16:17] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): Rune mentioned permanent injuries.  I have personally witnessed a scene where the bottom had to receive stitches because the Top did not stop until the Dungeon Master stopped her and she was escorted out while the sub received medical attention.  So yes.  It can happen. 

 

[16:17] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): Dominants at Xaara take a vow to protect submissives.  We need to remember that vow when we play.  #

 

[16:18] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   smiles big

 

[16:18] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): "Yes!  Protect me!  I'm completely outnumbered!  I haven't a chance!"

 

[16:18] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   giggles

 

[16:18] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild):   looks for the cage

 

[16:19] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I was watching a scene at a play party once...and the Top was whipping a bottom tied to a cross...

 

[16:19] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): She slipped with the whip and cut the girl's leg with it...not bad, but it started bleeding.

 

[16:19] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): the play stopped, she unbound the bottom, cleaned and bandaged the cut when she was sure the bleeding had stopped

 

[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And gave her a long hug and apologized

 

[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): then sat rather dejected the rest of the evening, obviously feeling bad the play had gone wrong.

 

[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): BUT she acted ethically and appropriately for the situation.

 

[16:20] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild):   nods

 

[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I had a LOT of respect for her.

 

[16:21] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Because, as You said earlier Miss and Rune, the bottom didn't want to stop even with the cut.

 

[16:21] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But that would have been really wrong.

 

[16:22] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So with Sadism comes a LOT of ethics that must be followed.

 

[16:22] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank You Miss!

 

[16:22] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): "So what you are saying is 'With Great Sadism comes Great Responsibility'     " Marvel

 

[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   giggles

 

[16:23] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): Ha!

 

[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and hopefully great paddles!

 

[16:23] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): hahaha

 

[16:23] Seli (Seliara Elton): Remember kids, it's Spanker-Man with the hyphen, not SpankerMan or Spanker Man

 

[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): rimshot

 

[16:23] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): hahahahahaha

 

[16:24] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Does anyone else have any comments on Sadism...what Y/you do or don't like about it, the ethics of it, the methods of it...the FUN of it?

 

[16:25] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I do have one question for Y/you...and you don't need to C, just answer if Y/you want.

 

[16:25] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Vanillas think we are nuts to do these things, and don't understand how we get any enjoyment of doing Sadistic acts.

 

[16:25] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): How can we best explain ourselves so they "get" it if we enjoy it?  Or should we even bother trying?

 

[16:26] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): ... It's just another form of a 'love language'

 

[16:26] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): They won't understand.  I say don't even bother trying.  If they continue I say "different strokes for different folks.  You don't have to enjoy or understand it but don't rain on the parade just because you don't"

 

[16:27] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Don't yuck my yum!!!

 

[16:27] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): Even in our lifestyle there are people who don't "get it".

 

[16:27] RB (RBQuinn Resident): If someone were truly befuddled and wanting to understand, I might make an effort, but my guess is that is a very rare occurrence.

 

[16:28] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I think it's sort of like "The Matrix."....."What S/M is can't be described.....you just have to experience it for yourself."

 

[16:29] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): Exactly

 

[16:29] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Because what I've found over the years RL is people who are curious come to the club, see it, and if it appeals do it.

 

[16:30] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): One time there were three college age girls that came to a party...one guy saw them and gave them a tour and then a 'lecture' on BDSM in our 'classroom' play room complete with desks

 

[16:30] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): 20 mins later the girls were all naked being gives turns with spankings lol

 

[16:30] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): He was so giving...such a teacher....*sniff*

 

[16:30] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): I once tried to explain it as like going to the gym... it's hard, painful, exhausting, and leaves you drained.... but feeling GREAT afterward

 

[16:30] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yesssss!

 

[16:31] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): i tried to explain to friends who were not in the lifestyle and they truely can't - they love me so they accept this side but they find me a little crazy and strange. it's not possible to explain such feelings and ways to be

 

[16:31] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I agree Eleonor

 

[16:31] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): It can be rather cathartic

 

[16:31] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and relaxing

 

[16:32] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I had a student who was into the scene and her roomie would go for regular beatings at her club before she could study

 

[16:32] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): it calmed her and helped her focus

 

[16:32] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But that's not a 'study aid' I put in my syllabi lololol

 

[16:32] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): My wife (non-BDSM) goes into Subspace when she gets a tattoo..  I just liken it to that,  the endorphin rush from the 'pain' increases the pleasure receptors in some people.

 

[16:32] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): hahaha

 

[16:32] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): now i don't share anymore even with close friends that i made after. This is my private garden and i don't need to say all about me

 

[16:32] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes, Sir!!

 

[16:33] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Me?  I hate pain lol

 

[16:33] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): There's pain and "pain" Sir

 

[16:33] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): Exactly Dollie!

 

[16:33] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But we will talk about that in two weeks when we get to Masochism!

 

[16:34] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): *bows for providing the perfect segue*

 

[16:34] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): I'm a caretaker.  I don't enjoy inflicting pain.  I prefer to "heal" after

 

[16:34] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): i think that there are several reasons why we love pain and which sort of pain. What is the level of pain that makes us labeled as " masochist "?

 

[16:34] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We'll discuss that in two weeks Eleonor!

 

[16:34] Rune (FatedPickle Resident): I love that question

 

[16:34] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): yes Vanessa thank you :)

 

[16:34] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Because that's Masochism and needs its own topic

 

[16:34] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): that's a good question.... what's the bar, at what point does one become a sadist?

 

[16:35] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): there's different levels of sadism though

 

[16:35] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): i "need" some pain but i don't feel that i am a masochist at all

 

[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That's applying the pain Lexi....the Masochistic likes *getting* the pain

 

[16:35] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): some of the nicest people I know are sadists

 

[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): or the humiliation

 

[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): or whatever it is that the Sadist applies

 

[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Master Laz is a really nice guy but he's a rather powerful Sadist

 

[16:36] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): So is Seph

 

[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And knows how to get subbies that respond to that to jump instantly *giggles*

 

[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yessssss

 

[16:36] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): Exactly, so if a top 'spanks' the sub, is that sadism? what if they usse a crop... hard paddles... are bruises needed? What defines a 'sadist' in the BDSM context

 

[16:36] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): and she is the sweetest woman

 

[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes, no, the application of pain and/or humiliation

 

[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But there are different levels Lexi...some Sadists like to say spank or pinch.,...others use implements...some go to electric play and shocking

 

[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I'd say I'm moderate in my RL sadistic play

 

[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I like impact play alot

 

[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but I won't go to electric play or anything that can do some real harm if not carefully controlled

 

[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We have plenty of Tops at the club that will be happy to do that stuff

 

[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Bandsaw play....maybe...

 

[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): :P

 

[16:38] Tom (Zirsnveblis Resident): I work at the hospital so we're very careful

 

[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): OH!

 

[16:39] Rune (FatedPickle Resident):   laughs

 

[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That's one important thing to remember Sir!

 

[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The Top needs to ask the Bottom before the scene "Where can I NOT hit or leave marks?"

 

[16:40] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): YES!

 

[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Like if a person has a Doctor appt that week...might be best to not do too much that might leave a bruise

 

[16:40] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): or even "can I leave marks"

 

[16:40] Rune (FatedPickle Resident):   nods lots

 

[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): An ethical Top doesn't want to have the Bottom having to answer such questions.

 

[16:40] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): I guess I'm just trying to see what general BDSM play turns to 'sadism' play. Most tops are 'mean' to one extent or anohter, and enjoy being so... and speaking as a sub, I at leas tenjoy that 'meanness'... it's a sign of affection. But... What then makes a sadist a sadist? is it the focus on suffering? either pysical pain of emotional humiliation?

 

[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes

 

[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The core of sadism is pain...but here *controlled, directed, consensual pain*

 

[16:41] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I totally read your Bandsaw play as "Banjo" Play and was thinking of torturing a sub with Folk Music

 

[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): LOL!

 

[16:41] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): hahahaha

 

[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): What if she likes it???

 

[16:42] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): giggles !

 

[16:42] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Then you play folk music WITHOUT a banjo!

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lol

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Lexi?

 

[16:42] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): too much of a good thing Vanni?

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Good point

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I like cooking...so beat me with a cookie sheet, please....

 

[16:43] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): a slotted spoon is better

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   looks over at Miss Sara and wiggles

 

[16:43] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): Do sadists ENJOY seeing others suffer... talking in a BDSM contact, consensual etc. But... do you actually enjoy when other suffer, even in a controlled and 'healthy' way?

 

[16:43] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): or so I've been told *winks*

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Ok

 

[16:44] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): that is a very good question Lexi

 

[16:44] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): It just seems to me that 'suffering' is a key component to it being 'sadism' as opposed to other kinds of play

 

[16:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Lexi there is a difference between a Sadist that yes enjoys administering pain and suffering to a willing, consenting person...and a person with Sadistic Personality Disorder that just likes hurting people MINUS consent

 

[16:44] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): yes, yes.. accepted

 

[16:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I'd never hit anyone out of the blue just for 'fun'

 

[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but in a dungeon setting, with a Bottom wanting to be smacked, spanked, flogged...YES I do enjoy that

 

[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): a lot

 

[16:45] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): I'm talking about consensual suffering

 

[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I love watching skin turn red

 

[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I love watching the bottom squrim and yell

 

[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And here is the key...BEGGING FOR MORE

 

[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And that's the key IMO

 

[16:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Hurting a person who doesn't want it is twisted

 

[16:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But a person who does....and consents...yeah, it's fun to smack 'em around

 

[16:46] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): c

 

[16:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And I know it's hard to grok the difference

 

[16:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Eleonor?

 

[16:47] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): the definition of sadism is when the person likes to inflict pain to non consent people, (you mentionned SADE) so why the same word for two different things ?

 

[16:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sadistic Personality Disorder

 

[16:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): vs Sadism

 

[16:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And as far as why the word...well...it's been used for decades on decades

 

[16:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I guess we could say "Sadistic Personality Disorder" vs "Ethical Sadism"

 

[16:49] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): in fact maybe saying "consensual Sadism " but it is a little bit strange to my ears

 

[16:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): because that's the real difference

 

[16:49] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): yes indeed :)

 

[16:50] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Its also important to notice that one is a Clinical Defintion the other is a general community accepted definition :)

 

[16:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Exactly, Sir!

 

[16:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Anyone doing something unethical or non-consensual is going to be removed from our RL club

 

[16:50] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): it sounds like a figure of speech antiphrasis

 

[16:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and likely blacklisted

 

[16:51] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Not really Eleonor; its similar to "I have depression" (diagnosed) and "I am depressed" (sad)   They can be similar things, but have two distinct differences

 

[16:51] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): the woman I mentioned earlier was blacklisted.  I never saw her again

 

[16:51] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): I will say the man who received stitches was fine

 

[16:51] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): Good definition, Sir Johan

 

[16:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): This is why these kind of discussions are so needed!

 

[16:52] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue):   listends carefully, nodding "yes Sir this seems to be  a good way to put it

 

[16:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So we in the lifestyle community can hash it out and have understanding

 

[16:52] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): but those words are misleading people outside of the BDSM community though

 

[16:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sadly we can't control discourse out of our reach

 

[16:53] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): THAT is definitely true, but much of what we do is misunderstood by those outside the community.

 

[16:53] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): I think before engaging with a new play partner, part of the negotiation phase would be to ask "You say you are a sadist, what does that mean to you?"

 

[16:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): oooo good Miss!

 

[16:53] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue):   nodding

 

[16:53] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): ^5 Sara

 

[16:53] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): smiles

 

[16:53] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): It means different things to different people.  Even in our lifestyle it means different things

 

[16:54] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): I don't know an ethical Dominant who would recoil at being asked such a question.

 

[16:54] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And again...pointed at s-types...if a Top or Dom  is into things you are not, just politely say no.  No harm or foul.

 

[16:54] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And if they get mad, run

 

[16:54] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): that's not a Dominant, that an abuser.

 

[16:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So Lexi, there is another differentiation

 

[16:55] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): This is also off topic, but I wonder if there's a different mindset in BDSM from European to American mindsets as well.

 

[16:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes

 

[16:55] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): There is Johan.

 

[16:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): to a degree in my experience

 

[16:55] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): A person can be 'sadistic' without being a 'sadist' in a BDSM context

 

[16:55] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): Angela is a good example of that

 

[16:56] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): What I mean is, even WITHIN a BDSM context, being sadistic doesn't mean your a sadist

 

[16:56] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I dunno Lexi, that's splitting hairs IMO *giggles*

 

[16:56] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If I like spanking someone, I am some degree of Sadist

 

[16:56] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But low compared to someone that likes really hard scenes

 

[16:57] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): so think of it as a spectrum

 

[16:57] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Would you say Lexi that the difference may be "being sadistic" means you are causing pain/humilation to the bottom...   being a Sadist means that you ENJOY the causing of it perhaps?

 

[16:57] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): As a sociologist I generally don't like binaries in relation to human behavior

 

[16:58] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): For me, from what I've heard, a 'sadist' FOCUSES in on the consensual suffering and gets excited by that... where as being a bit sadistic means that isn't the focus. Sapnking someone may be sadistic, but not mean your a sadist.Similar ot the difference between 'having depression' and 'feeling down'

 

[16:59] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): i like that Lexi

 

[17:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I will always let people self-identify and explain themselves, what we call "accounting" in sociology

 

[17:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but to me, that is a false dichotomy

 

[17:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): if I like spanking, I'm a sadist

 

[17:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): maybe not as much of a sadist as Poppa Electroplay

 

[17:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but still a sadist

 

[17:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But that's how I self-identify ;)

 

[17:01] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): Lexi, I think it really comes down to how the   person sees themselves. They can say they are a sadist or not.  That's their decision.  If they enjoy inflicting pain or enjoy giving the sub what they need but not necessarily enjoy it themsleves.  How they view who they are is important.....Yea like Vanni said

 

[17:01] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): a sadist to the same degree as someone who enjoys bruising and turning someone black and blue? (done consesually, of course)

 

[17:01] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Is it because you like the spanking itself or because you like the (enjoyable) suffering OF the spanking?

 

[17:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I also would say that as 'sadist' has some negative connotation in society, some might want to avoid the term

 

[17:01] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): the real saddist maybe is the one who doesn't inflict pain to the sub who needs pain ?

 

[17:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): which is also fine

 

[17:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Withholding can also be sadistic...

 

[17:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but then if I promise something like a spanking I never deliver to a wanting subject...that's abusive!

 

[17:03] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): grins

 

[17:03] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): yes the frontier between sadism and abuse :)

 

[17:04] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): An ethical sadist enjoys giving pain, physical or emotional, to a willing subject.  A person with Sadistic Personality Disorder likes giving pain to non-consensual people...that what drives them, harm to people without consent.

 

[17:04] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): take care Tom

 

[17:04] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I can't explain it any better than that Lexi.

 

[17:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And it's not an easy topic to fully get!

 

[17:05] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): Lexi, it comes down to ethics.  If the bottom enjoys it and the top enjoys it, then yay.  if the bottom doesn't, then it becomes abuse.

 

[17:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): 1000% Miss

 

[17:07] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): and what one might look at as abuse, the people involved in the scene may not.

 

[17:07] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): I understand  that, I get the difference between abuse and consent. I just... ether ALL tops are sadists or they aren't, and if they aren't... what's the distinction?

 

[17:07] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): not all tops are.  I'm not a sadist

 

[17:07] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): so what's the distinction

 

[17:07] Seli (Seliara Elton): You're wondering when it tips from "dominant standard" to "actively sadist?"

 

[17:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I think it's better to say "Not all DOMINANTS are Sadists"

 

[17:07] Seli (Seliara Elton): Probably when the person self-identifies as a sadist, if you ask me

 

[17:08] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): I don't enjoy inflicting pain.

 

[17:08] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): ONLY in  a BDSM context

 

[17:08] RB (RBQuinn Resident): perhaps the distinction Lexi seeks is 'motivation'?

 

[17:08] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): A top, in BDSM parlance, is a person who leads a scene.

 

[17:08] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Which will have some aspect of S/M play.

 

[17:08] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): You don't have to be a sadist to be a Dominant

 

[17:08] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): A Dominant doesn't need to do that.

 

[17:08] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): but if that scene is spanking... is it sadism?

 

[17:09] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): As I said at the beginning, a D/s relationship doesn't need any S/M at all.

 

[17:09] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I think so

 

[17:09] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): i have same interrogation than Lexi and will ask "what is the pleasure of the Sadistic Dom Man when inflicting pain  ?"

 

[17:09] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): why is it HOT for Him

 

[17:09] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Or woman ;)

 

[17:09] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): yes sure sorry :)

 

[17:09] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild):   grins "thanks Vanni"

 

[17:10] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): giggles softly "my apologizes"

 

[17:10] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): I know I'm arguing semantics, but I'm confused now as to what a 'sadist' is in BDSM terms... as I'm heard it's prety much doing anything 'sadistic' makes it sadism...

 

[17:10] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): I dunno, I don't think I'm explaining myself well enough, sorry

 

[17:10] SylviaAurelia (SylviaAurelia Resident): sadist enjoy the act of giving pain itself

 

[17:10] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): I do enjoy seeing a red ass from a spanking.  I even enjoy giving a spanking at times.

 

[17:10] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The online Dominant Guide gives a clearer and more contemporary definition of sadism:  "Within the BDSM community, the Dominant is most often the sadist, and the  submissive is generally the masochist (who derives pleasure from receiving pain). Also in the BDSM community, unlike most societal descriptions in the medical and psychological community, sadism is widely accepted as a healthy expression of inflicting pain in a safe, sane, and consensual manner to a masochist who seeks such activities as a form of emotional release or sexual pleasure."

 

[17:11] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That's the definition

 

[17:11] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So...inflict pain, one is some kind of sadist.

 

[17:11] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild):   laughs "then by that definition I am a sadist, but I'm not really"

 

[17:11] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): exactly my point

 

[17:12] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lol

 

[17:12] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): giggles

 

[17:12] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Obviously we aren't going to get to a definition that everyone will accept

 

[17:12] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): That's why I think you can be 'sadistic' withut being a sadist

 

[17:12] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): Lexi, Is it that you are thinking that being a sadist is a pathological thing?

 

[17:12] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): so we'll leave it as "everyone can self-describe" themselves and leave it at that.

 

[17:13] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): i'm not satisfied with that

 

[17:13] SylviaAurelia (SylviaAurelia Resident): its sounds a bit like you might be a sadist, but find that the term has negative connotations so don't like to think of yourself as a sadist.

 

[17:13] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): No, but if someon describes themself as eithe being, or not being a sadist, I want to have a reasonable expectation of what that means

 

[17:13] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Which is fine

 

[17:14] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): Sylvia, referring to me?  I don't think sadist is a negative at all.  It's just not how I see myself

 

[17:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I do not think, Lexi, you will get a definition that will satisfy you, though. ;)

 

[17:14] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): i mean, when the person self-identifies as a sadist that doesn't mean that it would reach other's people perception of a sadist , and maybe they don't have all the same image in their head of what a sadist is

 

[17:14] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): Lexi, then the best course of action would be to ask that person what they mean

 

[17:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I like hitting people at the club.  I'm a sadist.  That's it for me.

 

[17:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I have no issue or problem self-describing as a sadist.

 

[17:15] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): So does that mean, by definition, the term 'sadist' is largely meaningless?

 

[17:15] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lol

 

[17:15] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): Sorry, I'll stop.... I'm sorry

 

[17:15] SylviaAurelia (SylviaAurelia Resident): A sadist is someone who enjoys inflicting pain.

 

[17:15] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): No it is not meaningless.  It just has different meanings to each individual

 

[17:15] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue):   nodding

 

[17:15] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Maybe we need to bring in Wittgenstein

 

[17:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): (Austrian philosopher of linguistics)

 

[17:16] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): Every Dominant in this room right now could give you a different definition of what it means to them.

 

[17:16] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): yes

 

[17:16] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): and for that matter, probably every submissive too

 

[17:17] Seli (Seliara Elton): "It's when you are more "sade" than the others. Hence you are sadist." *nods nods*

 

[17:17] RB (RBQuinn Resident): I agree.  But that kinda proves Lexis' assertion of 'meaningless'

 

[17:17] SylviaAurelia (SylviaAurelia Resident): in terms of the type of pain or suffering thaat they personally enjoy inflicting, then yes, everyone is different

 

[17:17] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): this is so interesting to go deeper into a concept !

 

[17:17]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): Thank you for attending this discussion.

 

[17:17]  (Coffee Discussion Tracker): The tracker is now off and the floor is open to everyone.

 

[17:18] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): Hence my confusion over what a sadist actually is in a BDSM context.

 

[17:18] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Well I gave you a definition ;)

 

[17:18] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I think I've decided I'm going to start calling myself a Sade'ist.. Because I'm more a Smooth Operator and No Ordinary Love(r) than deranged French Libertine from the 1800's

 

[17:19] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   giggles

 

[17:19] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): words can have different meanings.  That doesn't make the word meaningless just because people have various definitions of the word

 

[17:19] Sara Starchild (Sara Starchild): hahahaha

 

[17:19] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue):   laughs softly

 

[17:19] SylviaAurelia (SylviaAurelia Resident): the word isn't meajingless, it means to enjoy inflicting pain.

 

[17:19] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): It's like "driver'....that usually means 'of a car' but can also connotate of a bicycle, of a scooter, of a golf cart...

 

[17:20] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): And its also important to note that definitions can adapt and change over time too.

 

[17:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): so context does matter

 

[17:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but *in general* an ethical sadist enjoys giving some kind and manner of pain to a willing, consenting subject.  That's the general understanding.

 

[17:21] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): WITH the proviso that every person that uses a word is subject to their own socio-psychological understanding of their Self and the word used

 

[17:21] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): for me that doesn't mean a lot when someone self-identify to anything even if we need words, there are so many subtleties and also it depends what is the knowledge of the person who uses it. It is like the word "slave" very difficult to have a clear image of what it is. (i am speaking into the BDSM context)

 

[17:21] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And I won't argue different uses as I'm not another person.

 

[17:21] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Right!

 

[17:22] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We don't have real "slaves" anymore

 

[17:22] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but we still use the word in a bdsm context

 

[17:22] SylviaAurelia (SylviaAurelia Resident): there are plenty of real slaves in the world.

 

[17:22] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But ask ten slaves what "slavery" in such a context means ... each answer will be different

 

[17:22] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): i would answer "sadly we have" but this is another topic

 

[17:22] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Oh yes, but here...LEGAL slaves

 

[17:22] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That's is outlawed

 

[17:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Understanding people are certainly enslaved

 

[17:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Illegally

 

[17:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): See...context matters!

 

[17:23] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): in some countries this is legal sadly the way it is done

 

[17:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And with that we will conclude!

 

[17:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank you all so much for such a compelling discussion on Easter Sunday!

 

[17:24] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Take care everyone!  Enjoy your Sunday, Easter, Ostara, Passover, 420 if thats your thing or any/all the above.

 

[17:24] Eleonor Xue (Eleonor Xue): smiles "thank you so much for all that food for thoughts !!

 

[17:24] Lexibunny (Lexisevertied Resident): Thank you for the discussion, Vanni. I appreciated it, genuinely

 

[17:24] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And we'll be back in two weeks to go at it again with Masochism!

 

[17:24] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): *hugs Lexi*

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"S is for Sadism!" -- April 20, 2025

  [15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Good morning and welcome to Koffee Klatch!   [15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Our...