[15:40] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): ok we need to start
[15:40] (Coffee
Discussion Tracker): Welcome all to today's discussion!
[15:40] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Good
morning and welcome to Koffee Klatch!
[15:40] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Our
discussions are in text and are in the usual C/Q/R format, meaning type
"C" if you wish to make a comment, "Q" if you have a
question, usually directed at a person's comments, and "R" if you
wish to retract either your C or your Q.
If a person has a question for a specific person on what they said, just
say "Q @ [name]"
[15:40] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): We tend
to go in the order received, however, we generally will promote questions
directed at a person's comment to the top.
The handy-dandy giant coffee cup in the middle will keep track of the
order.
[15:41] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): If a
person asks a question of the group, there is no need to put in a "C"
to reply, replies to the question will be open.
Just answer, or we'll have a bunch of "Cs" at the bottom.
[15:41] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Please
keep further greetings and extraneous talk in IM...otherwise it gets
noisy! Thank you! ♥
[15:41] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): The
archive for this Klatch can be found here:
https://xaarakoffeeklatch.blogspot.com/
It houses current and many older discussions.
[15:42] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): With that
out of the way, we'll begin.
[15:42] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): As usual
I have a bit of exposition to start us off
[15:42] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): as I yap
for a bit feel free to put in a C or Q into the coffee cup (just say
"C" or "Q")
[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): then
we'll go to the queue
[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Today
however continue our series on BDSM with a talk about another misunderstood
type of dynamic, the Babygirl and the DaddyDom.
[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Although
perhaps not as polarizing as the Brat style, this also throws some people for a
loop.
[15:44] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Brats by
the way we'll discuss in September!
[15:44] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): just in
time to have a brat with onions and mustard -- read into that what you will!
[15:44] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): ♫
rimshot ♫
[15:44] Salis Reis (SalihReis Resident): moans
[15:44] Pilar Raynier (Pilar Raynier): lol *shakes my head*
[15:44] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank
you, i'm here all week, try the fish!
[15:44] Hestia (sarynaGareth Resident): OH is food a topic
now?? (wakes up)
[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): lol
[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): no!
[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli):
continuing!
[15:45] Hestia (sarynaGareth Resident): darn
[15:45] Jenine (Illana Kuu): chuckles
[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): A couple
things about the BB/DD dynamic
[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): First,
this is NOT discussing ageplay.
[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Kids and
ANY form of sex or BDSM play are banned in SL, for extremely good reason, so
"Babygirl" is not to be taken as a 15 year old palling around with
Roman Polanski or anything like that
[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): (Dates
myself with that remark)
[15:46] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Also we
are not talking about "family" or "incest" play or anything
like that.
[15:46] RB (RBQuinn Resident): (enjoys the idea of dating
with Vanni.....)
[15:46] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): If people
wanna RP that on their time, whatever floats their boat!
[15:46] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): (I'm an
expensive date!)
[15:46] Connie (Constanse Levenque): grins
[15:47] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Also, we
are not talking about "Littles" or subs that play at being kids.
[15:47] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): We have
quite a few Littles at my RL BDSM place.
They like to dress like kids, color, play with play-dough, roller skate
and what not
[15:48] Salis Reis (SalihReis Resident): (running out of
note space for what is excluded)
[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): they even
have a monthly meeting, SOAP, or "Society of Age Players" and no it
doesn't mean THAT kind of age play
[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): I have
talked to several of them about it, and they say they are recreating a
childhood they never had
[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): So it's
all good. Not my kink, but their kink is
just fine for them.
[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Anyway
(winks at Salis) just what ARE we talking about?
[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli):
"Babygirl" is usually construed to mean a grown woman that in ways
acts rather passive, looking for a man (her DaddyDom) to guide her and possibly
spoil her and care for her in a very nurturing style D/s relationship.
[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): So she
might come across as a cutie teen, but she's not a kid or underage.
[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): The
dynamic seems to be the "Daddy" that spoils his "Princess"
and cares and nurtures for her.
[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): In fact,
in a lot of the dynamics I have seen, he calls her "Princess" or
"Buttercup" (yes, a Princess Bride reference there) or some other
cute name like that.
[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): And their
dynamic has a very different turn than we'd see with the more usual D/s, or M/s
kind of relationship.
[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): So, the
questions before today's assembly are:
1) do you do the Babygirl/DaddyDom kind of dynamic? (or perhaps the Babyboy/MommyDom, although
I've not seen much of that), 2) If so, what works for you in it (or has it if
done in the past) and 3) If you don't what questions or comments do you have
about this dynamic? Are you interested
in it, or do you see it as something you'd rather not do?
[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Remember
we're always polite even when disagreeing :)
[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli):
YKINMKBYKIOK (Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is Okay)
[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): So feel
free to put in your C or Q, that's my exposition for today
[15:54] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): apalia
you break the ice! When you are ready
please!
[15:56] apalia (apalia Resident): To begin with the whole
DD/BG naming gives me the creeps but that's just me....I understand that the
ageplay thing is not what we are talking about.
I've never really gone for that kind of thing basically because it all
sounds a bit exploitative?? Also (and I
haven't really investigated for many years) Most BGs in my experience are
bratty and just looking for a spanking...:)
[15:57] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Some
might see it as explotiation, but then again, vanillas think anything we do is
a form of exploitation!
[15:57] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): so I
think it's really a manner of perspective
[[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): And I do
agree apalia that there can be some crossover between the "Babygirl"
and the "Brat"
[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): but
that's not necessarily true in all cases
[15:59] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): many
Babygirls I've seen like dressing cute and carrying a plushie and being coy,
which is not brat
[15:59] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): but
certainly they can mix!
[15:59] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Thanks
for that apalia!
[15:59] apalia (apalia Resident): yw
[15:59] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Hestia we
come to you please
[15:59] Hestia (sarynaGareth Resident): Semantics count, in
a text driven communication system.
[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): well, as
devil's advocate...lots of vanilla men (and women!) call their other
"baby" and act like the big protector, but I don't think we'd look at
them as candidates for Epstein Island... ;)
[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): That
said, yes this dynamic can be polarizing and does often hit people's uncanny
valley triggers
[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli):
"something is just *wrong* here...."
[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): But like
you said, everyone has their kinks and as long as they're following the rules
of SL and Xaara, they can do their "thang" however they like
[16:03] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): good
points thanks Hestia!
[16:03] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Nyx we
come to you please!
[16:05] Nүx Pяιsм (Nyx Prism): I Have been a Little For
Years, and Well I was with a Dominate
for 7 years, and he was my daddy, so I wanted to first thank you all for giving
us a lights on.. we are alot of the time miss understood and not taken serious
in the ds, But I wanted to say that It takes alot of support and calming energy
from the Dominate.. After That Experience I took such a break that i was scared
to express myself as that. that I was nervous to tell my mistress so she told
me that its not bad to seek a Daddy/Mommy
but she respect me and understood my need and said if i need to i will
take the time and learn you.
[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): That's
cool!
[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): One night
my RL club got "taken over" by some littles lol
[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): they were
yelling and running around and roller skating all over...we had to push them
into a large room to have their fun
[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): only
because they were a bit too loud and were interrupting some scenes
[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): it was an
intriguing night!
[16:08] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): And yes
the BB/DD dynamic is often misunderstood Nyx.
It's why we have these discussions!
[16:08] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Good
points thanks for that!
[16:08] Nүx Pяιsм (Nyx Prism): giggles
"we are known to do that.., Honestly i use my little side to just vegge
out i guess i can say.. XD
[16:08] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): ;)
[16:09] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Johan we
come to you please!
[16:09] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Fair warning - put
your helmets on!
[16:09] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I originally had
similar thoughts as apalia and Hestia, when I was just getting started in
online BDSM and a growing fad was the DD/BG play (everything running in cycles)
what you would normally see was brattish play disguised under DD/BG or to a
point Age Play. There is still some form
of overlap of Age Play with DD/BG but like many of our kinks there can be
overlaps. My initial 'ick' with it was that I had a 7yr old Stepdaughter at the
time and so the Age Play thought was a definite turn off.
I think what opened
my mind more was that my style of Dominance as a Service Top and 'Caring
Dom' isn't very far off from what many
would consider Daddy Dom. I'm here for
the care and support, protection and training of my subs. I'm here to help them
be the best person and submissive they can be while looking out for their
needs. Sometimes those needs are
relaxing playing games, watching videos, dressing cute and kawaii and avoiding
the stressors even temporarily of modern adulthood, because lets all face it.
[16:09] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): The past 30 years life can be wonderful, but
it can also be a shit show. So if they can escape a little bit into the whimsy
of babygirl play, I support it. I
mean, I'm also a Disney Adult/Universal Adult soo... #done
[16:09] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): save vs
wall of text
[16:09] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): *Save successful only
1/2 damage*
[16:10] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): lol
[16:10] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Hey I am
one of those nutty Disney Resort passholders too!
[16:10] RB (RBQuinn Resident): ﺴ✶ﺴ✶ﺴ
Aρρℓαυsє ★ Aρρℓαυsє ★ Aρρℓαυsє ﺴ✶ﺴ✶ﺴ
[16:10] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): and I
might have a really cute Minnie top I wear
[16:11] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): If it were a crop top
it would be a mini minnie top and I bet adorably cute too !
[16:12] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): One thing
you pointed out that is important, this is a spectrum, meaning some people are
into the "light" more playful parts of the BB/DD dynamic where it
might more overlap with "Brat" like apalia pointed out, and then to a
moderate and finally very deep kind of "protector to very passive
person" kind of thing
[16:13] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): again,
it's their dynamic, and I think most D/s relationships have *some* aspect of
that, even if we don't call ourselves BB/DD types.
[16:13] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Indeed, I have a
friend who is a Diaper Wearing Little -
full age regression (Non-sexual)
while its not my thing, it is theirs and thats ok too :)
[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): so a
friend of mine in First Life had a biz where he was making bondage furnishings,
he's a really good woodworker
[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): and he
was approached by a guy who wanted a full, adult size crib for his infantilism
kink
[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): he
thought it way off base but hey money was money!
[16:15] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): the guy
paid for 1/3 of it as a down payment, my friend started it but the guy never
paid the rest....so to this day my friend still has "crib" pieces in
his garage lol
[16:15] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Convert a crib into a
cage?
[16:16] Lora Nieuport (LoraSaenz1 Corvinus): lol
[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): grins
[16:16] Salis Reis (SalihReis Resident): nods at Johan
[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Johan
thanks for those wise words, we always appreciate your comments!
[16:17] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Let's go
to Lora please! and anyone else please C
or Q!
[16:17] Lora Nieuport (LoraSaenz1 Corvinus): In the move cat
on a hot tin roof the matriarch of the family calls the patriarch 'Big
Daddy'. A movie back in the 50s with
Paul Newman and Liz Taylor. No one back
then thought it was bad. I was taught
that these terms in the DD/bb dynamic a term of endearment. In Latin cultures, women call their husband
papi meaning Daddy and men call their women nena meaning girl. Again a term of endearment. Through time these terms have been used a lot
and no one very thought about it back then.
Until recently. Sometimes names
are just names and nothing more to it.
done
[16:18] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): "Si,
mi papi es muy caliente!"
[16:18] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): *grins*
[16:18] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): I know
enough Spanish to order food and be a bit kinky :P
[16:19] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): "I love it when
they call me Big Papa! Put your hands
in the air, like you're a true player"
[16:19] Lora Nieuport (LoraSaenz1 Corvinus): I just never
thought of my grandmother a babygirl.
she was a spanish strong woman and cursed like a sailor. laughs
[16:19] wombaticus (wombaticus Resident): kinky with food?
[16:19] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): But that
is very true, Lora, and it is a cultural thing
[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Don't
some Latin men also refer to their girlfriend/wife as "Mami?"
[16:20] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Yes also a term of
endearment
[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Si,
claro!
[16:20] Lora Nieuport (LoraSaenz1 Corvinus): yes also a term
of endearment and definitely not that she is his mother
[16:21] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): but of
course that's not the dynamic we're discussing
[16:21] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): They also refer to
other men/women as Papi/Mami just as a friendly term -non romantic :)
[16:22] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): I was
raised Catholic, we called the priest "Father" but that wasn't
anything other than the usual term of respect
[16:22] Lora Nieuport (LoraSaenz1 Corvinus): so again we all
have false ideas of the term Daddy and what ever is used for females in the
dynamic. The dynamic itself and how each
couple defines it is on them and none of my business.
[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Agreed
Lora, we don't have to like something, but just respect it enough to let folks
do their thing as long as it's within the basic normative frame of SL and
society
[16:23] Lora Nieuport (LoraSaenz1 Corvinus): nods to Vanni
[16:23] Lora Nieuport (LoraSaenz1 Corvinus): exactly. behind
closed doors and all
[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): One
more: vanillas flip out when they hear a
sub call their male Dominant "Master"
[16:24] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli):
"Don't you know slavery is illegal?"
[16:24] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli):
"That's NOT what we mean here, babe.
Chill."
[16:24] Pilar Raynier (Pilar Raynier): I just look at them
and smile and go about my business
[16:24] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Right!
[16:25] Salis Reis (SalihReis Resident): context is
important when terms like Daddy are used.
[16:25] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Thanks
Lora!
[16:25] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): We go to
Tiana
[16:25] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): When
ready please!
[16:25] Tiana Rore Miracle (RoreMiracle Resident): are your
selling you self to a slave suction house so you must be a whore
[16:26] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): You mean
that as how that's perceived by vanillas of course!
[16:26] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Hah jokes on them,
we'd do it for free! The money just
weeds out the scrubs
[16:26] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Hey pal,
$10 is $10...
[16:26] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): ;)
[16:26] Pilar Raynier (Pilar Raynier): snickers at Sir Johan
[16:27] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): screams
as a wave of $10 bills are tossed at me...
[16:27] Pilar Raynier (Pilar Raynier): laughs
[16:27] Tiana Rore Miracle (RoreMiracle Resident): i had a
daddy Dom once, he wanted me to dress like a school girl and a teen and for
some reason it creeped me out not this is before i came here and had some
lovely whorshps, yes some people out isl are pero and horrble but this is why
place like xaraa are here#
[16:28] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Tiana,
did you feel like he was pushing something "wrong" on you, or he just
liked the schoolgirl look?
[09:29] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (vanessa.cannoli): (I have
dressed as a kinky schoolgirl many times here btw ;) )
[09:29] Tiana Rore Miracle (roremiracle): yes i don't like
dressing like a child or school girl
[09:29] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (vanessa.cannoli): right so
that was not your thing and you didn't have to do that
[09:30] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (vanessa.cannoli): remember
we cherish the big C word here...not that one...CONSENT
[09:30] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (vanessa.cannoli) knows my
audience *giggles*
[09:30] Johan Dark (wjohanw): SOoo many C words :)
[09:30] Tiana Rore Miracle (roremiracle): that what i am
lean;t here
[09:31] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (vanessa.cannoli): Tiana we
welcome you to Xaara and I'm glad you're connecting to the positive atmosphere
we try to create
[09:31] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (vanessa.cannoli): And
thanks for that comment!
[09:31] Tiana Rore Miracle (roremiracle): i am bring a
freind next time
[09:31] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (vanessa.cannoli): great!
[09:31] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (vanessa.cannoli): Jenine we
come to you please
[09:31] Jenine (illana.kuu): its no different than my
relationship with my Miss, the society I live in flips its top hearing such
terms used let alone Master... and my Miss has called me her Babygirl as a term
of endearment more than a few times. But
Miss Robbi is Very protective!
[09:32] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (vanessa.cannoli): Good
points Jenine!
[09:33] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (vanessa.cannoli): as long
as it promotes happiness it's good, but
as Tiana pointed out, if it's NOT doing that, time to renegotiate or leave if
the other won't listen
[09:33] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (vanessa.cannoli): so I love
that you and your Miss are happy and fit well, Jenine!
[09:34] Jenine (illana.kuu): I strongly agree there, and we
have an amazing connection!
[09:34] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (vanessa.cannoli): good👍
[09:34] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (vanessa.cannoli): We come
to Taryn please!
[09:34] taryn (taryn.topaz): I just wanted to say coming
from a RL situation where her bio Dad was never loving, caring, supportive or
protective while at the same time giving strict rules and extreme punishment
for my own "crimes" and my little brother's "crimes"
(because I apparently was suppose to teach him better). I understand the
attraction to experience a loving father/daughter dynamic. I love when a D
shows interest in my creative projects, when he protects me, when he spoils me
and respect him when he punishes me when I need it cause I know he is doing it
out of love and care for me. I am a fan of pet names and nick names. However, I
have to have balance. I need him to know even though I enjoy the cute outfits,
the plushies when I'm feeling overwhelmed or emotional, that I'm still a woman
who can care for her family, home, finances and whatever else needs to be done.
I'm not a child, I don't enjoy being made to feel inferior or weak. I know I'm
a complicated soul and not everyone's cup of tea. I wanted to thank you for
having this discussion because this
dynamic fascinates me as well as gives me the "ick" so I'm excited to
learn more about this topic while I learn more about myself.
I once was seeing a Daddy Dom, we were just getting to know
each other. He asked me to wear a diaper, I logged immediately and then when I
came back I deleted and blocked him. *laughs*#
[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Well I
guess that all "Depends" on the person!
[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): ♫
rimshot ♫
[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): sorry had
to say it
[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): :P
[16:36] taryn (Taryn Topaz): smiles
"I was so nervous to share"
[16:36] taryn (Taryn Topaz): thank you A/all
[16:36] RB (RBQuinn Resident): *groans at Vanni's pun*
[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): taryn
that was spot on!
[16:36] RB (RBQuinn Resident): Well-said, Taryn!
[16:36] Jenine (Illana Kuu): I had to punt someone once.. I
didn't even log... I just kick him so hard that I think he felt it in RL...
taryn
[16:37] Hestia (sarynaGareth Resident): wonder if it is the
same one i left with his head still spinning.
[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): and again
I think it shows the spectrum here, some dynamics can have some of the BB/DD
minus the more overt stereotypes we have.
There's nothing wrong with an s-type wanting a strong person to hold and
depend on
[16:37] Jenine (Illana Kuu): I died laughing especially
after I filled my Miss in...
[16:38] taryn (Taryn Topaz): <<<< not afraid to
use the red X or the block button
[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): yeah one
time at a club (not Xaara) this guy wanted me to go home with him...and I was in
the mood so I went...
[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): first
thing he said was "call me Daddy"
[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): then he
got into his wanting to "breed" his "little girl"
[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): I was out
super fast
[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): I'm not
gonna be the focus of some dood's incest fantasy
[16:39] Jenine (Illana Kuu): was his lower parts intact Miss
Vanni?
[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): lol we
never got to seeing it LOL
[16:39] Pilar Raynier (Pilar Raynier): LOL
[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli):
again...if people want to have that fantasy, fine...but make it *consensual* by
asking if I'd WANT to do it
[16:40] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): ^^^^^^
[16:40] taryn (Taryn Topaz): right!!
[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): because
the answer would have been NO at the get-go
[16:40] Lora Nieuport (LoraSaenz1 Corvinus): nods
[16:40] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I wasted gas driving
over here!!!
[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): lol
[16:40] Jenine (Illana Kuu): laughs
to the point of tears
[16:40] taryn (Taryn Topaz): I'm gonna quote daks now
"I did not consent to that!" *giggles*
[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): isn't
that a Hall and Oates song "I did not consent to that..nooo...no can
do!"
[16:41] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Sounds like another
parody we need to write Vanni
[16:41] taryn (Taryn Topaz): probably *giggles*
[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): lol
[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Taryn
thanks so much for that!
[16:41] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): YOu've got my Collar
now you want my soul?
[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): LOL Johan
[16:41] taryn (Taryn Topaz): *:-:*'``'*My Pleasure*:-:*'``'*
[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): That was
spot on and I'm glad you shared it!
[16:41] taryn (Taryn Topaz): winks
at Pilar
[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): we go to
Dion please!
[16:42] Dion Griffin (adrohi Resident): There was a mention
of the word breed and it reminded me of Muffins
[16:42] Hestia (sarynaGareth Resident): haz to know how
breeding and muffins connect...
[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): SubMcMuffin?
[16:42] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): (Is scared and
looking at his blueberries in a new light(
[16:42] Hestia (sarynaGareth Resident): facepalms.. MISS
VANNI..that was horrible
[16:42] Dion Griffin (adrohi Resident): I think it is
manipulative behavior as far as baby girl term is used by passive women
[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): hee hee
[16:43] Lngo Delvalle (Lngo Delvalle): Fast food Sub :)
Subway ? McMuffin ? LOL
[16:43] Hestia (sarynaGareth Resident): How do you mean Sir
Dion?
[16:43] Dion Griffin (adrohi Resident): Muffins is a game in
sl about hucows and bulls
[16:44] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): didn't
know that!
[16:44] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): I think
it's possible that anyone can attempt to manipulate their other
[16:44] taryn (Taryn Topaz): nods in
agreement
[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): so it's
reasonable to believe that some BBs do act that way to get things
[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): just like
some DDs do the same
[16:45] Hestia (sarynaGareth Resident): the infamous
babygirl brat princess syndrome!!!
[16:45] Dion Griffin (adrohi Resident): it's not right to be
silent and exert influence the wrong way
[16:45] Lngo Delvalle (Lngo Delvalle): agrees
[16:45] taryn (Taryn Topaz): hey! not all princesses are
brats :P
[16:45] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): ^... It doesn't have
to be a DD/bg dynamic for manipulation to occur, though hopefully there will be informed
consent in any dynamic regarding what is acceptable between the two (or more)
parties. FINDOM happens regularly as
well.
[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): agreed
Taryn!
[16:46] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): That's
another kind of dynamic that can produce real exploitation
[16:46] taryn (Taryn Topaz): smiles
and adjusts her crown
[16:46] Lora Nieuport (LoraSaenz1 Corvinus): well said Sir
Johan
[16:47] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): but at
the same time some findom, done ethically, can be acceptable....like a sub who
can't control their finances so an ethical Dominant "OKs" purchases
and helps them budget
[16:47] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): your
point is well taken, Dion! Thanks!
[16:47] Cyan d'Azure (Cyan08 Resident): nods in
agreement with Johan an Vanni
[16:48] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): Ok I have
one question to finish the discussion
[16:48] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): think of
it as your "happy ending..." ;)
[16:49] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): We see
very few if any "BabyBoy/MommyDom" kind of dynamics, or at least them
being called that way. Do you think that
would be seen as more problematic and maybe even pathological by people both
out of and in the scene? Just answer
please, no C.
[16:49] Hestia (sarynaGareth Resident): Yes
[16:49] Lngo Delvalle (Lngo Delvalle): I can head that way -
yes
[16:49] Jenine (Illana Kuu): yes
[16:50] Cyan d'Azure (Cyan08 Resident): I think so. I would view both in the same lihgt
personally
[16:50] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I think its along how
we also don't see nearly as many male submissives either? Maybe its a closeted thing out of fear of
rejection/assumption?
[16:50] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): and why
do you think it might be seen more problematic?
[16:50] Hestia (sarynaGareth Resident): because society is
still sexist
[16:50] taryn (Taryn Topaz): agrees
with Hestia
[16:50] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): ^ That.. Toxic Masculinity
[16:51] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): male subs
are often regarded as "unmanly" by many, although I think Xaara has
come a long way in rejecting that misguided view
[16:51] Lngo Delvalle (Lngo Delvalle): Agreed
[16:51] Pilar Raynier (Pilar Raynier): agreed Miss Vanni
[16:52] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I certainly hope we
have :) I know we try both in regards to that, and as well as promoting our
Non-Binary members as well as Female Dominants as well :)
[16:52] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): yes!
[16:52] Lngo Delvalle (Lngo Delvalle): Submissive has never
meant Weak - inferior - in any context.
There are very strong successful Male and Female Submissives -- and they can be a challenge to be their Dominant
[16:52] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Indeed Lngo
[16:52] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): I think
though that the idea of a male sub saying "Mommy" to his Mistress
might really hit the uncanny valley in people and seem highly pathological
[16:53] Cyan d'Azure (Cyan08 Resident): Having been
approached by male subs, I think there are subtle differences between male and
female subs rather than the obvious. And
I think Hestia's comment probably explains a good bit of it
[16:53] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): like
"is this infantilism?"
[16:53] Hestia (sarynaGareth Resident): could not be ME
Master Lngo.....because i am just a sweet innocent little old grey haired
lady!!! )fluttering eyelashes(
[16:53] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): giggles
[16:53] taryn (Taryn Topaz): uh oh i word!!!
[16:53] Lngo Delvalle (Lngo Delvalle): chuckles
[16:53] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli):
"innocent...innocent of WHAT?"
-- Little Bill Daggett in "Unforgiven"
[16:54] Jenine (Illana Kuu): Innocent?
[16:54] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): ;)
[16:54] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): The last
time I went to confession I got run out with pitchforks so I ain't very
"innocent"
[16:54] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I'm not innocent, but
I've never been proven Guilty
[16:55] RB (RBQuinn Resident): wishes
he had a rimshot ....
[16:55] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): ♫
rimshot ♫
[16:55] RB (RBQuinn Resident): ty
[16:55] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): anyway I
wanted to ask that question as we rarely see the BabyBoy/MommyDom
[16:56] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): although
i have hung around in SL femdoms and I can attest some relationships do go into
it even if it's not *called* BB/MD
[16:56] Cyan d'Azure (Cyan08 Resident): nods
[16:56] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): any final
thoughts?
[16:57] wombaticus (wombaticus Resident): I plead the fifth,
but will beg for a half gallon!
[16:57] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): lol
[16:57] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): thank you
all for this great discussion!
[16:57] Lngo Delvalle (Lngo Delvalle): Great discussion
Vanni - always informative - and engaging - and amazing ! I am glad to be back to the Klatch after a
long reprise.
[16:57] Dion Griffin (adrohi Resident): thanks
[16:57] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): we'll be
back here in two weeks with "Service Tops and Bottoms"
[16:58] Vanessa Cannoli-Lysette (Vanessa Cannoli): and Johan
spins next week at the Pier! don't miss
it!
[16:58] Dion Griffin (adrohi Resident): whats that?
[16:58] Cyan d'Azure (Cyan08 Resident): Excellent
conversation and really appreciate everyone's perspective!
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