Sunday, October 19, 2025

"Consensual Non-Consent" (CNC) -- October 19. 2025

 [15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Alright.....we've dithered long enough, let's get started

 

[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Good morning and welcome to Koffee Klatch!

 

[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Our discussions are in text and are in the usual C/Q/R format, meaning type "C" if you wish to make a comment, "Q" if you have a question, usually directed at a person's comments, and "R" if you wish to retract either your C or your Q.  If a person has a question for a specific person on what they said, just say "Q @ [name]"

 

[15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We tend to go in the order received, however, we generally will promote questions directed at a person's comment to the top.  The handy-dandy giant coffee cup in the middle will keep track of the order.

 

[15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Although this time it's a jack-o-lantern!

 

[15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If a person asks a question of the group, there is no need to put in a "C" to reply, replies to the question will be open.  Just answer, or we'll have a bunch of "Cs" at the bottom.

 

[15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Please keep further greetings and extraneous talk in IM...otherwise it gets noisy!  Thank you!

 

[15:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The archive for this Klatch can be found here:  https://xaarakoffeeklatch.blogspot.com/  It houses current and many older discussions.

 

[15:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): With that out of the way, we'll begin.

 

[15:47]  (Jack O' Lantern Discussion Tracker): Welcome all to today's discussion!

 

[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Ok today is a topic that can be rather controversial...Consensual Non-Consent, or what's usually known as "CNC"

 

[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I have a bit of exposition as usual

 

[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So drop a "C" or "Q" in as thoughts come to mind and after my screed we'll go to the queue]

 

[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):  grabs a sheaf of notes

 

[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): CNC is one of those topics that cuts a couple ways...some love it, some are like "who the heck would do that?"

 

[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The basic idea is that the Dominant and S-Type *negotiate* a scene to where the Top/Dominant has full control over those aspects of it.  The s-type or bottom will not safeword to those things.

 

[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Now some people think this means the S-Type is ripe for abuse here.

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): IF done wrong, I'd agree.

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But there are important steps that need to be taken

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): First...a LOT of negotiation over exactly what the CNC elements are going to be

 

[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Some equate this activity with "rape scenes."  such a scene is certainly possible, but it doesn't have to be what appears to be non-consensual sex

 

[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): it could be something like "I'm going to force you to be my maid, you will do exactly as I order and I will beat you for infractions."

 

[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The persons involved would discuss what the 'maid activities' are and what the 'punishments' would be for 'infractions'.

 

[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): then the scene is on, the infractions and punishments agreed upon happen and every has a good time.

 

[15:54] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): the important thing is that the s-type who is the 'maid' agrees to not safeword or stop the scene as long as those agreed upon activities are going on

 

[15:54] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Because they gave consent prior

 

[15:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Now if the Top/Dominant decides to "add" things not agreed upon, the s-type has every right to stop the scene.  it now really is non-consensual.

 

[15:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): this kind of play requires a LOT of knowledge of each other and trust.

 

[15:56] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): this is not something to be done as a casual scene IMO.  your mileage may vary, of course

 

[15:57] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So my questions for today are:  1) Is this in your wheelhouse?  Do Y/you enjoy CNC?  If so, what's enjoyable in your opinion, and 2) do you think this perhaps dangerous and leading to negative outcomes?  There is no right or wrong here, we're talking about personal takes on this, not moral absolutes.

 

[15:57] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I'll give y'all a min to think and drop the C or Q in the queue

 

[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Liss when you are ready please!

 

[15:58] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): A couple of things - first a question back, do you see CNC differently between rl and sl? ... now I'll keep typing

 

[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): sounds good!

 

[16:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): After you type your comment, Liss, I'll open that question to the floor

 

[16:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): let's get that in first

 

[16:00] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): One occasion in sl is the use of rlv relays, occasionally but rarely I switch my rlv relay to Auto, so I don't get asked. That seems a form of CNC to me, maybe I've negotiated with the region I'm willing to do it in. #

 

[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I would think so, Liss

 

[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): You are giving consent to be grabbed in that sim

 

[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and while you can get out of any situation there is still the thrill that someone might well grab you and do something "horrible"...or maybe really horrible?

 

[16:02] Liss (LissomePrey Resident):  nods

 

[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): does anyone want to comment on Liss' question about First and Second Life differences regarding CNC?

 

[16:03] taryn (Taryn Topaz): No ma'am

 

[16:03] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): just go ahead

 

[16:03] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I think both were spot on :)

 

[16:03] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): no C required to answer

 

[16:04] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): In my opinion, Liss, I see a very clear difference

 

[16:04] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): In First Life one has to be very, very careful about whom they'd get into a CNC scene with

 

[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Trust is paramount, because a lot of responsibity is on the Dominant or Top....if something is going sideways, they have to stop the scene]

 

[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And if I have agreed to not stop the scene, the Top/Dominant has to know me, know what's going on, and take that responsibility

 

[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Here the fact it's virtual mitigages *some* of that as physical harm is not usually an issue (unless mirroring is going on)

 

[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but psychological and emotional harm are still real outcomes

 

[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So yeah different in some ways but participants must still be very careful.

 

[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Any other comments?

 

[16:07] ella (ellabi Resident): insecure if it is a meningsless input but what the heck...C

 

[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): just say C :)

 

[16:07] ella (ellabi Resident): I have never used safeword since I only submit to dominants after a deep get to know chat. I have not thought about this concept since with deep trust one want to obey totally. In some way with Master it is always CNC since I trust him never to abuse me. He only push me in a thoughtful way that is beneficial for both.  perhaps not a meningful input but thats all I have on this speciic subject matter. I can ad that I am house servant by own choice in RL, perhaps not even seen as lifestyle but with similiarites. (so certainly no need for talks about CNC or safewords in RL smilles).ps... I do mirroring with Master, only with him om command.#

 

[16:08] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Ella...first you put in the C and then you are in the queue

 

[16:08] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): just so you know

 

[16:09] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): what you brought up is something I do want to talk about so first let me get Johan's comment and then we'll come back to that.

 

[16:10] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Johan, go ahead please and then we'll circle back to Ella

[16:10] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I had the early misconception that CNC= Forced/Rape type scenes myself until rather recently when a discussion on CNC was either in a Facebook group or Threads discussion that opened my eyes.

Pretty much ANY scene that involves a "Noo!! "  "Stop!! That hurts!" (without using a agreed upon Safeword) Can be considered consensual non-consent which was an interesting way to look at it.     It is important to note that while CNC the /s type agrees to not safeword within the boundaries they STILL 100% CAN if something happens that needs them to.; even with consensual non-consent - Consent can be revoked at any time ( by either party!)

In that aspect I think CNC is in many people's wheelhouses more than they expect - but I think like ANY Kink related activity there is a degree of danger (part of the fun!) and there could be negative outcomes based on miscommunication, inexperience by either/all parties,  etc.   #Done

 

[16:10] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That is an interesting take!

 

[16:11] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and yes of course, the s-type can always in the end yell the safeword or just "Stop now!" and that better stop the scene

 

[16:11] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): or we move into abusive behavior

 

[16:12] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Really IMO, a CNC scene is what you described, a scene in which it's negotiated that things liked and wanted will be done so the sub/bottom has no need to safeword

 

[16:12] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): even though it appears they're screaming "OH GOD NO!  STOP!"

 

[16:13] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): What they are really screaming "Yes More ! Harder Daddy!"

 

[16:13] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): (coffee and sugar from donuts kicked in )

 

[16:13] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): this is why trust is so paramount

 

[16:13] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): the bottom *knows* that the top/Dominant will go only so far

 

[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): so they can immerse fully in the scene]

 

[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): even though in theory the Dom can do "anything they want" in the negotiated area

 

[16:14] Kahlan Dark (wobbles08 Resident): like rope, i know i can sink and bliss out cause someone will keep me from drowning

 

[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Right!

 

[16:15] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But if I met some "Top" at the Pier and in ten mins they wanted me to go do a CNC with them ....no no no, NO.]

 

[16:15] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Great perspective there Johan, thanks!

 

[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And thank you Liss as well.

 

[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I want to go back to Ella's comment a moment then we'll move to Kahlan and taryn

 

[16:17] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ella what you described is more of a CNC D/s connection rather than a scene

 

[16:17] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Some find that a bit more disturbing than "just" a CNC scene

 

[16:18] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but IMO I think it's just a "total power exchange" in which the submissive/slave gives over total consent to their Dominant, at least in the areas negotiated

 

[16:19] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): going from a scene to a lifestyle

 

[16:19] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): so let me ask a question to the group -- feel free to answer, no C.

 

[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): When a submissive/slave says "I make no decisions, Master/Mistress makes them all for me" is that to be seen as an issue, case by case look and see if all is well, or not an issue at all?

 

[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): (That to me is the total TPE/CNC sort of D/s connection)

 

[16:21] ella (ellabi Resident): It can be a severe issue but also no issuue at all depdning on the realtion

 

[16:21] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): It wouldn't work for me, but each person or couple is different.

 

[16:22] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I would have to know more about the situation before making an informed opinion.  In some cases it could 100% be a Consensual TPE - others it could be coerced abuse.

 

[16:22] Kahlan Dark (wobbles08 Resident): If that is what you negotiated for, there is no problem. But if its someone you just met here, making RL decisions for you... that is a hella pause. but then again if you aren't to make decisions about your clothing but you are to make all your own food choices.... Its all a sliding scale of mutual satisfaction and negotiation

 

[16:23] taryn (Taryn Topaz): I would think if the sub/slave is happy, healthy, and showing no signs of abuse, than it is just their agreed connection and all is well. If showing signs of abuse or they are not happy or healthy, than someone should step in and make sure their is no abuse happening.

 

[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): All very good points!

 

[16:24] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Some submissives really do have what we call the "slave" kind of personality, and are happiest when making no decisions, or as few as possible

 

[16:24] Rachel Aimar (RachelHolt Resident): I think that watching from the outside...see the interactions between the Dom/Sub....see if you perceive abuse or healthy relationship...but until you do that...don't get between a Dom and sub

 

[16:24] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and if the relationship is healthy it's not an issue

 

[16:24] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I agree Rachel

 

[16:25] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): fine to IM the sub and ask if all is well

 

[16:25] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): making public comments unless clear abuse is going on is tricky

 

[16:25] Kahlan Dark (wobbles08 Resident): I think that is sometimes a problem, staying out of it. i see something fishy and i go into protection mode especially if i see the sub is a baby in SL years. I'll message and ask if everything is okay

 

[16:26] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Although from all my training in domestic violence, i will tell you that if you ask a victim of abuse if they're being hurt, they will almost always say "no"

 

[16:26] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Right Kahlan

 

[16:26] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And in the end, there is only so much we can do

 

[16:27] Rachel Aimar (RachelHolt Resident): sometimes being a friend is all we can do at the moment if abuse is going on

 

[16:27] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But this is the thing with CNC....it *appears* abusive...and it's hard to tell where that line from fun CNC to actual abuse is

 

[16:27] taryn (Taryn Topaz): sometimes they are unaware that they are being treated poorly, they accept the abuse out of their love for their Dom or they have been made to feel they deserve the abuse

 

[16:27] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes good points!

 

[16:28] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Goddess, y'all are so right on!  This is why I love doing this discussion!

 

[16:28] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): All well said thank you!

 

[16:28] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thanks Ella!

 

[16:28] ella (ellabi Resident): thank you Vanessa and all

 

[16:28] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Ok Kahlan let's move to your delayed comment!

 

[16:29] Kahlan Dark (wobbles08 Resident): 1 -no, not in my wheelhouse in that I have experienced or have great knowledge but I do think there could be interesting implications. I see this is a lot of the dollification and pony by force which I could lean into with the right partner. But there are a lot of little moving parts that would need to click into place just so in order for that to be unlocked.

2 -Just like in anything with D/s or BDSM there can ALWAYS be negative outcomes ranging from small to scared shitless and never gonna try anything ever again. But this is again where knowing yourself and knowing the play partner you are with comes into play

 

[16:29] Kahlan Dark (wobbles08 Resident): I also believe that CNC is making a RL ...resurgence (questionable word choice but its what i'm coming up with right now) with a lot of the New Adult fiction coming out. I've talked about some of this with Beau but the actions of the men/'doms' in those books is very much non-consensual in some areas but I can see where that would be fodder for fantasy and spark CNC conversations. I knot it did for me. Something I saw as off the table forever now has me thinking 'maybe, possibly, how much time do we have to plan and can i get nervous giggles and not kill the mood?' haha##

 

[16:30] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): As long as such things are fantasy and keep CNC *consent* at the top it's all good

 

[16:31] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): My concern is like with the 50 Shades books and movies.....that it will give people that don't get what we do a rather warped view of it

 

[16:31] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Its definitely a resurgence thanks to the Dark Romance genre of books becoming more and more popular. I'm seeing it as a return to the '50 Shades' crowd jumping in head first without necessarily understanding or knowing SSC/RACK/PRICK.

 

[16:31] Kahlan Dark (wobbles08 Resident): Nods, and I think that is where some lines get blurred, especially with the stalking books, it becomes coerced and not blatant (I'm think specifically of the Haunting Adaline and LORDS books)

 

[16:32] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): we had to stop a LOT of scenes at the RL club when newbies with no knowledge jumped in

 

[16:32] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I've already seen in some of the book spaces (as a Kinky-Smut Author myself)  the Dark Romance Girlies posting things about Gunplay/Knifeplay including using loaded guns to penetrate and I'm like "NO NO NO NO!!!"   If you want to play with that - use a Rubber training gun that cannot fire bullets.

 

[16:32] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yeah...ugh

 

[16:33] Kahlan Dark (wobbles08 Resident): <<well trained book girlie, though, lol

 

[16:33] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): <3

 

[16:33] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I've read actual victimization surveys where women say they were raped with loaded guns...this is First Life, not SL or a book...

 

[16:33] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Not in any way trying to equate safe fantasy with that

 

[16:33] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but people with crazed ideas are out there

 

[16:34] Kahlan Dark (wobbles08 Resident): And that is heartbreaking, cause had I not read it, my brain wouldn't have gone there at all. It was 'at gun point' not this was the object

 

[16:34] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Exactly Vanni -    Same with the DR readers who went all sexy time "He's sooo hot" about the Wade Wilson guy

 

[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): why some women fall for horrible people like serial murderers is beyond me

 

[16:35] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): The 'danger' ?

 

[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Richard Ramirez (the Night Stalker) getting real marriage proposals from women for example

 

[16:35] Rachel Aimar (RachelHolt Resident): or "try it you may like it"?

 

[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ugh

 

[16:36] Rachel Aimar (RachelHolt Resident): grins at Miss Vanni...not that I encourage you to try it

 

[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): anyway done safely with a trusted partner as Kahlan said, have fun!

 

[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):  winks at Rachel

 

[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I study crime too extensively to be one of 'em :P

 

[16:36] Rachel Aimar (RachelHolt Resident):  winks back to Miss Vanni

 

[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Kahlan thank you, that was spot on and well said!

 

[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): we got to taryn with a question I apologize for the delay.

 

[16:37] taryn (Taryn Topaz): What is this mirroring you spoke earlier about? I'm unfamiliar with this term in D/s lifestyle. #

 

[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Oh!

 

[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Mirroring is when the bottom/sub "mirrors" what is being done to some degree here in SL]

 

[16:38] ella (ellabi Resident): its yummy smiles

 

[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): so if your avi is being spanked, you spank yourself

 

[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): anyone else can comment on any mirroring you've done

 

[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): or we can make that the next topic!

 

 

[16:40] Rachel Aimar (RachelHolt Resident): Lovense is all I am going to say

 

[16:40] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Spanking, using a rubber band to 'snap' where a 'crop' hits, tugging your own hair during a hair pull..

 

[16:40] ella (ellabi Resident): only with Master on command but sponetous with others now and then....

 

[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I think that *will* be the discussion topic in two weeks

 

[16:41] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): clothes pins, etc..    I swear one of these days I AM going to write my book "101 BDSM toys found in your Kitchen"

 

[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): what it is, concerns, how to do it safely

 

[16:41] Rachel Aimar (RachelHolt Resident): Strips comes to mind with a frying spatula and stove

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): hee hee yes!

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but there has to be ethical background to it

 

[16:42] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Love Bill Murray in that scene

 

[16:42] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): wooden spoon

 

[16:42] Rachel Aimar (RachelHolt Resident): no burners going?

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): chainsaw....

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ;)

 

[16:42] taryn (Taryn Topaz): what? NO! *laughs*

 

[16:42] ella (ellabi Resident): no mirroring with chainsaw

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): LOL

 

[16:42] ella (ellabi Resident): smiles

 

[16:43] Kahlan Dark (wobbles08 Resident): that's a different kind of movie

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): truth!

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So taryn thanks for the topic, we'll rattle that around more in two weeks

 

[16:43] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Texas Chainsaw Kink Club

 

[16:43] taryn (Taryn Topaz): my pleasure Miss

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): LOLOL!

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): omg that's hilarious

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Master Leatherface will now do his "demo"

 

[16:44] Rachel Aimar (RachelHolt Resident): hey...take that to the northern clim in winter for Ice Sculptures

 

[16:44] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Takes on a whole new meaning from the film line "Such a good boy"

 

[16:44] Rachel Aimar (RachelHolt Resident): Edward Scizzorhands

 

[16:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):  snickers

 

[16:44] ella (ellabi Resident): 12 angry men

 

[16:44] taryn (Taryn Topaz): That sounded like a newb question but I swear I'm not new, just a little out of touch from hiatus. *giggles*

 

[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The most..edgy..first life workshop I ever attended was one on..I kid you not...."forced clownification"

 

[16:45] taryn (Taryn Topaz):  looks shocked

 

[16:45] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): It wasn't a noob question at alL Taryn ; I've beeninto Kink and online BDSM since the late 90's and only heard the term Mirroring the past two years

 

[16:45] taryn (Taryn Topaz): ahhh that makes sense, I've been gone about 4 years.

 

[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): two guys in full clown outfits talked about it and then did a demo scene of forced clownification on a subby guy

 

[16:45] taryn (Taryn Topaz): thank you Sir

 

[16:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): with makeup and horns and....yeah it was wild

 

[16:46] taryn (Taryn Topaz): wow

 

[16:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I am not kidding either!]

 

[16:46] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I can imagine the scene "My what big shoes you've got..."

 

[16:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): LOL!

 

[16:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): hey as long as it's consensual

 

[16:46] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): "Is that a Ballon dog in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

 

[16:47] taryn (Taryn Topaz): clowns are not sexy to me!! *shakes my head*

 

[16:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but I aint' doing a CNC scene with Master Binky the Clown

 

[16:47] Kahlan Dark (wobbles08 Resident): sthaaaap, Beau, lol

 

[16:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lol

 

[16:47] taryn (Taryn Topaz):  laughs

 

[16:47] Kahlan Dark (wobbles08 Resident): #cringe

 

[16:47] taryn (Taryn Topaz): you say clown and I picture pennywise

 

[16:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): they pointed out that as people often fear clowns, that made the scene that much more "edgy"

 

[16:47] taryn (Taryn Topaz): yep not sexy

 

[16:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): it's not supposed to be sexy at all, taryn ;0

 

[16:48] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Not 'sexy' but scary or even Humiliation can be its own sort of BDSM kinky fun

 

[16:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): right!

 

[16:48] ella (ellabi Resident): i get the question from strangers often "do you mirror?" the answer of course "yes but not with you" asking that before talking and communicating is a total nono

 

[16:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): any final comments on CNC before we call it a day?

 

[16:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ok this was a great talk on a topic that gets a lot of questions

 

[16:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): thank you all for your excellent thoughts and comments

 

[16:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): you are the reason I lead these things

 

[16:49] Rachel Aimar (RachelHolt Resident):  puts on a smiling yellow face and growls "Have a NICE day....bwahhahhahh"

 

[16:50] taryn (Taryn Topaz): thank you Miss Vanni

 

[16:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lol

 

[16:50] Rachel Aimar (RachelHolt Resident): thank you all...another enjoyable Sunday morning

 

[16:50] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Thank you Vanni!  it was a great topic and great discussion.  Thank you everyone enjoy the rest of your Sunday OR ELSE! (just kidding)

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"Consensual Non-Consent" (CNC) -- October 19. 2025

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