Sunday, April 19, 2026

B is for Bondage! -- April 19, 2026

 [15:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Good morning and welcome to Koffee Klatch!

 

[15:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Our discussions are in text and are in the usual C/Q/R format, meaning type "C" if you wish to make a comment, "Q" if you have a question, usually directed at a person's comments, and "R" if you wish to retract either your C or your Q.  If a person has a question for a specific person on what they said, just say "Q @ [name]"

 

[15:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We tend to go in the order received; however, we generally will promote questions directed at a person's comment to the top.  The handy-dandy giant coffee cup in the middle will keep track of the order.

 

[15:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If a person asks a question of the group, there is no need to put in a "C" to reply, replies to the question will be open.  Just answer, or we'll have a bunch of "Cs" at the bottom.

 

[15:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Please keep further greetings and extraneous talk in IM...otherwise it gets noisy!  Thank you!

 

[15:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The archive for this Klatch can be found here:  https://xaarakoffeeklatch.blogspot.com/  It houses current and many older discussions.

 

[15:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So welcome, we haven't had a Klatch since February I think, partly due to people having other things to do and partly the Easter Sunday holiday.

 

[15:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but now we're back and rarin' to go!

 

[15:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Today we start our yearly trek through the BDSM acronym.

 

[15:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): You likely know that BDSM as an acronym stands for three things:  B/D:  Bondage and Discipline, S/M:  Sadism and Masochism, and D/s:  Dominance and Submission.

 

[15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Our goal over these discussions is to talk out how we all see this and how these things affect us.

 

[15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I want to point out that all of us are at different phases of our BDSM experience.  Some are brand new, some are like me, old timers, and many are somewhere in the middle.

 

[15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   slams Geritol

 

[15:43] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): *schedules himself and Vanni for colonoscopies*

 

[15:43] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade):   looks for some ensure.

 

[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lol

 

[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Medical BDSM!

 

[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I consent!

 

[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So ALL points of view are welcome, and everyone has their own views and narrative as we wind through the acronym.

 

[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So with that, we start with B -- B is for Bondage!

 

[15:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I'll spit out some exposition, and while I do or after, please put in your C or Q for a comment or question!

 

[15:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): To quote Wikipedia, which knows all, Bondage "is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation. A partner may be physically restrained in a variety of ways, including the use of rope, cuffs, bondage tape, or self-adhering bandage."

 

[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   stops to allow people to fan themselves as necessary.....

 

[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Bondage is often an act in and of itself, meaning that the people involved will do that as a scene in itself

 

[15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): At my First Life club, there are many scenes where a person is tied in some way, such as suspension, and that's the scene, and the act in and of itself puts the bottom into subspace.

 

[15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sometimes the restraining is mixed with S/M acts as well such as spanking, etc, but in general the rigging or what not is the scene.

 

[15:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Watching the rigging is great, it's sexy to behold. But I don't do rigging myself, I don't have patience. I just want to beat someone silly.....or get beat maybe.... ;)

 

[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): BUT I do use these things called "easy-offs" for restraining, they look like two hooks on each side which attach to the restraint and the bondage device....two mins max to restrain and then right to fun.

 

[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Also with this, use of handcuffs, leg irons, arm spreaders, gags, latex body suits, hoods....detects *subspace is coming*...are possible, and MORE!  LOTS MORE!

 

[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): *ahem*

 

[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Along with the fun comes safety.

 

[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): It's DANGEROUS to leave a person alone tied anywhere in First Life

 

[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sure the physical aspect isn't here in SL, but in First Life, never.  Anyone in my club that ties someone and walks out of the room without getting someone to watch the bound person is never going to play there again.

 

[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The Dungeon Monitor will end the scene and release the person immediately.

 

[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Also a person who is bound needs to be regularly checked in with to be sure they're ok.

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So if you do this in First Life and are getting a cramp, or claustrophobia, or ANYTHING, ask for a change, or ask to end the scene if necessary.

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And of course, if You are the Top, please be responsible, check in and be sure Your charge is ok during the whole scene.

 

[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So, with all that said.....two questions to the August Assembly here...

 

[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): 1) Do you enjoy Bondage, either as the bound person, or the person doing the binding?  What's the attraction in all this?

 

[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): 2) As SL is visual and psychological, why do you think this is such a turn on here in SL?  Unless we mirror the binding at home (usually not advised) it's all what I like to call "Theater of the Mind."  But it's still sexy fun here!  Why?  What's the psychological connection in your opinion?

 

[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ok exposition done...your turn!

 

[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Let's hear from the Assembly why we like this!...or maybe it's not a turn on.  That's fair too

 

[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Lyrah when ready please

 

[15:53] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): I did rope rl for years

 

[15:54] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): and what the draw was for me, as a model, or rope bunny was the slow and meticulous care the top took to place the rope on my skin

 

[15:54] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): you are in close quarters

 

[15:54] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): your can feel their breath on you

 

[15:54] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): they continuously whisper to you to make sure that you are alright

 

[15:54] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): it is very intimate

 

[15:54] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): I love it!

 

[15:54] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): and then once you are bound, they play

 

[15:54] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): and it's a rush!

 

[15:55] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): I love it to pieces!!!

 

[15:55] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): done.  Thank you.

 

[15:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Follow up, Lyrah -- what would you say is the *biggest* thrill of it all...the lack of moving, the intimate feeling, the inability to move if they spank you or more....or something else...or all of it? ;)

 

[15:56] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): the intimacy and close up attention as they tie me

 

[15:56] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): but I also love being taken while immobile

 

[15:56] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): struggling to touch them when it's out of my control

 

[15:56] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): it's a high!

 

[15:56] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): rawr!

 

[15:56] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): smiles

 

[15:56] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): haha done

 

[15:57] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): You mean...being taken to McDonalds of course..."The bound girl will have a #4, and don't ask how she'll be eating it..." ;)

 

[15:57] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): haha

 

[15:57] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): I'll have fries with that!

 

[15:57] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): *giggles*

 

[15:57] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So you want that...SUPERSIZED Lyrah? ;)

 

[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): rimshot

 

[15:58] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): it's the quality, not the quantity, Miss.

 

[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Indeed

 

[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sorry this isn't stand up routines with Vanni...allegedly

 

[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thanks Lyrah that was a great start up!

 

[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Liss you are up please!

 

[15:58] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): my pleasure Miss

 

[15:58] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): I am purely into bondage in sl, maybe sadly, maybe not. Here for me I have a strong sexual response to bondage but realise that for others it brings quite different emotions. I wonder what the emotions are for various people, subs and Dominants. Maybe this repeats Miss Vanessa's question to Lyrah :) #

 

[15:59] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I think as Lyrah said, it's very intimate and close, it plays into that sexual closeness.

 

[16:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Also remember, for a lot of people, bedroom sex games are where they first dabble in BDSM....tie up and get at it....

 

[16:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): so I think there is a strong sexual connection, Liss

 

[16:00] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): But for some there is no or very little sexual involvement?

 

[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Sure

 

[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): it depends on the person

 

[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Some people find it odd when I say that a LOT of BDSM has no sexual aspect to it.  At the RL club I've never had any sex with any person (intercourse is what I mean)

 

[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I like to beat people silly and then snuggle after while they float in subspace

 

[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): yummy!

 

[16:02] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade):   looks for the sign up sheet.

 

[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lolol

 

[16:03] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Liss that was a great comment thank you!

 

[16:03] Ɓrittaŋɣ Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Brittany Serenade):   holds out the notepad

 

[16:03] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): hahaha!

 

[16:03] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Oddly...Wynter you're up!!

 

[16:03] Vent Sinatra (Vent Sinatra):   chuckles

 

[16:03] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): I do enjoy bondage to a degree, suspension can be very enjoyable and meditative even in the right situation. It's also very useful (for me at least) when combined with SM because squirming is far less effective.. and a sadist might enjoy watching the submissive/bottom struggle against the restraints as their getting paddled or some similar implement is being used.(more)

 

[16:03] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): As far as doing bondage to another, I enjoy the restrictions and helplessness imposed upon them for a pre-negotiated time, it feeds my sadism to a degree and I can appreciate the different ways in which a body can be contorted and restrained. That helplessness can also translate well into SL with the proper RLV restrictions active. So it can help emphasize the power exchange when a submissive can't touch anything because their hands are tied behind their back.. things like that.#

 

[16:04] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): rubs her hands together in agreement

 

[16:04] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Well now...uh.....what were you saying  *dreamy look slowly fades*

 

[16:05] Vent Sinatra (Vent Sinatra):   nods

 

[16:05] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade):   smiles.

 

[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That's all really so well said Wynter!

 

[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I'm old enough to remember when RLV first came out *guzzles more Geritol*....I thought it was sort of needless.  "I'll just do what you say, why do we need that?"

 

[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But I found that in play here it really does give life to Bondage play

 

[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): What will happen next?  no idea!

 

[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Suddenly toss on a rack or something

 

[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So 100% agree -- the helplessness is key and RLV can help to make it real

 

[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thanks for that Wynter, your knowledge is always on key and welcome

 

[16:08] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): A pleasure, Vanni.

 

[16:08] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And we move to the other Serenade...Britt please!

 

[16:08] Ɓrittaŋɣ Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Brittany Serenade): When I was active in rl rope play the tempo very much suited me. The element of breath and anticipation, some mystery and uncertainty about what was next, the experimentation with new knots, and the compliant willingness on the part of my submissive to experience something new which we weren't sure exactly how that would turn out.

 

[16:09] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): oooo yesssssss

 

[16:10] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): SL is "Theater of the Mind" so part of what we do here involves visualization.  But the brain is also the biggest sex organ.

 

[16:10] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So seeing it and the words can elicit a very similar  response to what is done in First Life.

 

 

[16:12] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Britt, thanks for that comment.....I totally agree with how rigging is so sexy and we can make it very deep here indeed.

[16:12] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Rarden you are up please

 

[16:13] Rarden Savage (Rarden85 Resident): For me i enjoy various forms of bondage and binding especially rope.  The attraction for me is a few things including creating something with the materials, creating art if you will with rope and a submissive.  I enjoy the closeness, the control, seeing and feeling her reactions.  It is quite a few things.  I do find that my RL experience heightens not only my play but my  RP experience.  Bondage and rope can not only be intimate, but freeing for a lot of the submissives I've interacted with because they can simply let go, feel and just be.

 

[16:13] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yessssss!

 

[16:13] Rarden Savage (Rarden85 Resident): A few have said it already, take your time, weave the scene, and bring them in.#

 

[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I agree....when I watch the riggers at the First Life club, the total euphoria that most of the bottoms/subs get as they are tied and suspended is gorgeous

 

[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): punctuated with a spank or paddle or what not at times too!

 

[16:14] Rarden Savage (Rarden85 Resident): I've had subs got directly to subspace with just a single tie

 

[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yum!

 

[16:15] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): People also say that being tied and put at their Dom s feet, or just tied to a piece of furnishing can have that effect too

 

[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   snaps my fingers "out of subspace! Out out out!" :P

 

[16:16] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade):   looks for an anchor to not float away.

 

[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Excellent comment Rarden, thanks for sharing your experiences in both First and Second Lives.

 

[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Benedetta thanks for waiting you have the floor.

 

[16:16]  (Benedetta it>en): Thank you

 

[16:17]  (Benedetta en>en): First of all, I don't think it's a game in the sense that everything that concerns the mind and here in SL can only touch the mind and in the end it's not a game but something serious and the atmosphere that is created involves the mind completely... being tied up here and entering into the details of the action involves the mind and manages to enter the soul... bondage is something that frees the mind in my opinion the ropes, the handcuffs, the gags, the blindfolds create a high emotion and as such it affects my mind, but not to excite my body but to give value to the emotions

 

[16:17]  (Benedetta it>en): have you ever felt an emotion?

 

[16:17]  (Benedetta it>en): an emotion enters the nose, reaches the throat and descends into the soul

 

[16:18]  (Benedetta it>en): the ropes a ribbon a blindfold anything creates an emotion and tied it takes me together with my dominant on a cloud and from there... we start #

 

[16:18] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Wow that was beautiful, Benedetta!

 

[16:19]  (Benedetta it>en): Thank you

 

[16:19] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And I agree that SL is NOT a game...we are all real people here interacting and weaving a story together.

 

[16:19] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): C @ Benedetta (It can wait till after Vent goes. It's indirectly related.)

 

[16:19] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): There's no "win"...unless the best scene ever is the goal...but that's elusive.

 

[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Benedetta, thank you for sharing that and welcome to Xaara!  Benevenuto!

 

[16:20]  (Benedetta it>en): Thank you

 

[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Vent you are up please!

 

[16:21] Vent Sinatra (Vent Sinatra): Thank you . I agree with a lot that has been said before.. But I wanted to add the simple estetic beautify of the human round forms, shaped by the straight lines of ropes

 

[16:21] Vent Sinatra (Vent Sinatra): *beauty

 

[16:21] Vent Sinatra (Vent Sinatra): and for me, the shaping of it

 

[16:22] Vent Sinatra (Vent Sinatra): when applying ropes

 

[16:22] Vent Sinatra (Vent Sinatra): For me this works in both worlds.#

 

[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I love that!

 

[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes it's very nice to see indeed

 

[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I love watching the riggers

 

[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thanks for that Vent!

 

[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Wynter you have a comment on what Benedetta said?

 

[16:24] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): Benedetta, I just wanted to say that there can be much more to what happens in SL for many people. Imagination lives on a spectrum, some you can tell "imagine a car" and they think of only the words.. you tell someone on the opposite end of that spectrum to imagine the car, and they can tell you the texture of the interior, how that new car smell permeates everything, the roar of the engine, the glinting of light off of the paint. When we translate that to BDSM emoting someone could literally take all the things they see, hear, and describe that they feel, and make it very real for themselves.#

 

[16:24] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes!

 

[16:25]  (Benedetta it>en): Exactly... these are called emotions

 

[16:25] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Experience  is different for each person....psychology is still working on how we really share an objective reality when everything we sense and process can be differrent

 

[16:26] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but emotions are very real as Benedetta said

 

[16:26] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And being bound...or binding someone...produces (or can produce) a strong emotional response that fills one

 

[16:26] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So very well said Wynter!

 

[16:26] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade):   smiles and nods.

 

[16:27] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thank you!

 

[16:27] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Liss has a question

 

[16:27] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): Listening to the responses, it is clear that the aesthetics of bondage are an important part as is the ritual of applying the restraints. I am always intrigued by a one bar prison which imprisons  the sub without the necessity of ropes, cuffs etc. Does this really constitute bondage and how would people react to it?#

 

[16:27] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): anyone can answer, please DO NOT use a C.  Just answer if you wish.

 

[16:28]  (Benedetta it>en): it's the order that affects the mind even without ropes or handcuffs, aesthetically it loses something but mentally I fill the space

 

[16:29] Rarden Savage (Rarden85 Resident): I agree with Benedetta, it's the idea and the mind that do more in that case then the item itself

 

[16:29] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): If I'm understanding the question properly, cages/prison cells are a form of restraint. It can be a way for someone to enjoy confinement without perhaps having the words to describe all the intricate knot work. Or just a different aesthetic altogether.

 

[16:30]  (Benedetta it>en): try replacing visual aesthetics with mental ones

 

[16:30] Lyrah Lane (Lyrah Lane): YES!

 

[16:30]  (Benedetta it>en): and you will realize that the effect is duplicated

 

[16:30] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Theater of the Mind!

 

[16:30]  (Benedetta it>en): the theater of the mind...exactly

 

[16:30] Rarden Savage (Rarden85 Resident): for everything SL offers the mind is still the key

 

[16:30] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): It is similar but basically a very simple way of capturing/displaying a sub using a carefully adjusted upright tube.

 

[16:31] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Too bad Brianne doesn't come anymore...we could have her demonstrate :P

 

[16:31]  (Benedetta it>en): it's a theater where you are the stage... you are the lights... you are the voice... you are the sound

 

[16:31] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Agreed Benedetta!

 

[16:32] Liss (LissomePrey Resident):   nods

 

[16:32] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Excellent!

 

[16:32] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thanks Liss

 

[16:33] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So I have a question....please answer this as you will, no C

 

[16:34] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We talked quite a bit about rigging, which is yummy...but what about just being cuffed and helpless at a Dominant's feet?  How does that feel to you either as the bottom/sub so tied and helpless, or the Domiant with that sexy person there totally incapable of movement?

 

[16:34] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): no C just answer

 

[16:35]  (Benedetta it>en): I would feel very lively I would start breathing

 

[16:35]  (Benedetta it>en): and I would be far from defenseless but rather very protected

 

[16:35] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):   smiles

 

[16:35] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): It would depend on the dominant I suppose. Brittany has bound and blindfolded me in the past, and although I had fear around the situation, it was also exhilarating and ultimately calming once I settled.#

 

[16:35] Liss (LissomePrey Resident):   nods

 

[16:36] Ɓrittaŋɣ Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Brittany Serenade): We've both been helpless and it's very intimate

 

[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): As a switch I can attest that either side of that equation is very sexy hot, but for different reasons.

 

[16:36] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): For me almost a paradox. It is both calming and freeing but also frustrating in that I am greedy and ideally wanting more.

 

[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): hee hee good point Liss!

 

[16:37] Ɓrittaŋɣ Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Brittany Serenade): Liss at least around our house we call that greedy frustration "eagerness" heh

 

[16:37] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade):   smirks and nods.

 

[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I call it "shirley"

 

[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): (Sesame Street reference...showing my age)

 

[16:38] Vent Sinatra (Vent Sinatra): It boils down to the essence of the power exchange.  The trust given to me when a sub is otherwise helpless and vulnerable. On top of that, the inability to move ads a certain focus ; nothing else for my partner to do then just be, watch and listen

 

[16:38] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): At least you didn't call it "late for dinner" (and I thought that was an Airplane reference tbh)

 

[16:38] Ɓrittaŋɣ Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Brittany Serenade): (here I was thinking that was a blowup doll from airplane)

 

[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): LOL

 

[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I love that Vent!

 

[16:39] Rarden Savage (Rarden85 Resident): (a new series Airplane meets Sesame Street)

 

[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lol

 

[16:39] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): ((Today in Sesame Street.. we learn to speak Jive!)

 

[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lol

 

[16:40] Vent Sinatra (Vent Sinatra): (chuckles thinking about the smiling blow up doll)

 

[16:40] Rarden Savage (Rarden85 Resident): I also think there is an important aspect in the exchange around the exchange

 

[16:40] Rarden Savage (Rarden85 Resident): the deeper the trust I think the more fully one can experience the event

 

[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): yes yes and yes!

 

[16:40] Rarden Savage (Rarden85 Resident): if you don't know someone its hard to let go

 

[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I agree

 

[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): at least fully

 

[16:41] Rarden Savage (Rarden85 Resident): but again.. anticipation fits.. i've given rope demonstrations where a sub I've never touched before slips into subspace with my first tie

 

[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): as there is always that *thing* in the back of the mind

 

[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): It's all so yummy

 

[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and it really is an intimate moment when the sub is just 100% dependent on their Dom  to even just move...that's where the real letting go can happen,  IMO, Rarden.

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Excellent!

 

[16:43]  (Benedetta it>en): I apologize for interrupting but I have to go...thank you all for your hospitality and see you soon

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Ok any final comments on this topic?

 

[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Ciao, Benedetta, molto grazie per i commenti!

 

[16:44]  (Benedetta en>en): smiles

 

[16:44] Vent Sinatra (Vent Sinatra): Benedetta, alla prossima ..  :)

 

[16:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): all right, great to get this going again and thank you all so much for your comments!

 

[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): in two weeks we do "D is for Discipline!"

 

[16:45] Vent Sinatra (Vent Sinatra): Oh, looking forward to it ;)

 

[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): which I will likely split into two discussions

 

[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): one on behavior modification

 

[16:45] Vent Sinatra (Vent Sinatra): thank you Vanessa for the moderation

 

[16:45] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade): Always a wonderful discussion, Vanni. Thank you for your awesome facilitation :)

 

[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and one on "funishment" ;)

 

[16:45] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Thank you Vanni, Thank you everyone for great comments and discussion!

 

[16:45] Ɓrittaŋɣ Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Brittany Serenade): Thank you for having us Vanni

 

[16:45] Wɣŋtɛr Sɛrɛŋaɖɛ (Wynter Serenade):  's ears perk up at funishment.

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