[15:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Good morning and welcome to Koffee Klatch!
[15:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Our discussions
are in text and are in the usual C/Q/R format, meaning type "C" if
you wish to make a comment, "Q" if you have a question, usually
directed at a person's comments, and "R" if you wish to retract
either your C or your Q. If a person has
a question for a specific person on what they said, just say "Q @
[name]"
[15:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We tend to go in
the order received, however, we generally will promote questions directed at a
person's comment to the top. The
handy-dandy giant coffee cup in the middle will keep track of the order.
[15:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If a person asks
a question of the group, there is no need to put in a "C" to reply,
replies to the question will be open.
Just answer, or we'll have a bunch of "Cs" at the bottom.
[15:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Please keep
further greetings and extraneous talk in IM...otherwise it gets noisy! Thank you! ♥
[15:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): The archive for
this Klatch can be found here:
https://xaarakoffeeklatch.blogspot.com/
It houses current and many older discussions.
[15:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): With that out of
the way, we'll begin.
[15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So we are doing
our yearly romp through the BDSM acronym
[15:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): We've gone over
how we strange folks like either binding people or being bound
[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And then two
weeks ago we went over one aspect of discipline, which is behavior
modification.
[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Now as a segue
into the S/M part of the acronym, we go over an aspect of Discipline we
affectionately call "Funishment"
[15:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): This is doing
some kind of either B/D or S/M play for the sake of it, finding fun in sharing
of expression of kinks.
[15:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): When we get into
Sado-Masochism over the next few weeks we'll get more into WHY we like these
things and what drives us to it....
[15:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So, for example,
anyone here like a spanking or giving a spanking, not to punish or correct, but
just for the fun of said spanking?
[15:44] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): *raises his hand*
[15:45] Arella Soren (Arella4 Resident): Raises Johan's
other hand
[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): As a switch, I
like both!!!
[15:45] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): *tickles Arella's
palm with his other hands finger tips*
[15:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): And anyone who
does enjoy giving or getting said spanking enjoys funishment to some degree!
[15:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli):
"Funishment" can involve any aspects of spanking, flogging, etc
[15:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): whatever the
people involved find kinky and fun
[15:47] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident):
*raises both hands*
[15:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I am sure some
here remember Brianne, the blondie who was my Ed Sullivan....last I saw her,
she was into being a mummy, wrapped totally with only her head visible.
[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): She said she
loved every second of her new SL life...so more power to her!
[15:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Funishment is
really what we do in First Life when we go to clubs and negotiate scenes.
[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): When I'm beating
on a bottom, or getting MY bottom beat at times, there's no
"correction" going on...just the correct application of said paddle
to skin.... ;)
[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Funishment can
also get more into forms of role play.
[15:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Which sort of
"sets up" the whole scene.
[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Persons can do
extended RPs like"Dirty Doctor" "Perverted Lawyer" or
"Tavern Wench who gets beat and shagged."
[15:50] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident):
*loves those Titles*
[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Not that anyone
here does anything like that...I certainly haven't *cough*
[15:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I would NEVER do
"Discussion Leader who gets dragged off kicking and screaming!" Never...
[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): *fans myself*
[15:51] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): *Makes a note*
[15:51] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident): Not
you....
[15:51] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident):
That would be so unlike you
[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): It got warm in
here...
[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): *grins*
[15:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Now one last
thing, there are some who will not do "funishment," saying that it
takes away from the roles of Dominant and submissive, and in fact turns the Dom
into a sort of "fun machine"
for the s-type.
[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I personally
don't think so as long as this is negotiated and both understand who is in
charge; but of course, we respect all views on this
[15:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): With that, my
questions for the Assembly today are: 1)
Are you into funishment? and if so 2)
What types of funishment are on your bingo card? How do you set up scenes of funishment?
[15:53] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Seli when ready
please!
[15:54] Seli (Seliara Elton): Sure. Lexis and I are much
more into funishment than anything turbo strict. In part becuase she's -very-
well behaved. What she also is, though, is sassy. I'm sure some of you know.
And bad puns, she has lots of those
[15:54] Seli (Seliara Elton): She's also been through a bit
of complicated RL stuff
[15:55] Seli (Seliara Elton): And we find that the teasy
slightly sassy (not even bratty) moments are great ways for us to test relative
mood. I can always tell she's feeling frisky from them, and it's a delight to
"funish" her for talking back.
[15:55] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): grins
[15:56] Seli (Seliara Elton): I think it's one of those
things that's evolved slowly and naturally, but it leads to a fantastic kind of
play where we're both sure we're in the right mood and space to play, and where
I know she trusts me to ...well I'm going to get a little outsized with the
"funishment" but it's not because she was bad, so much as because she
~is~ good.
[15:56] Seli (Seliara Elton): Anyway, it's great. #
[15:56] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Oh I love all
that!
[15:56] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and nail on the
head there
[15:57] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Funishment is
when the D and s types *get* each other and so what might seem
"sassy" to others is simply the two having fun.
[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Most of us have
seen Poe and Kaylan at it here at Xaara.
Kay will say really offbeat stuff until Poe gags her.
[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That's all
funishment.
[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): To some it might
seem odd, maybe even "offputting," but that's how they roll
[15:58] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So everything you
said, Seli, is spot on.
[15:59] Seli (Seliara Elton): Poe and Kaylan are goals.
[15:59] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): thank you for
that!
[15:59] Seli (Seliara Elton): Sure thing
[15:59] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): :)
[15:59] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Kathryn, you are
up please!
[15:59] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident): I
love Funishment from both sides.....but on the s-side I've gotten myself into
actual trouble before by pushing too hard. That's something I know about
myself....and I have to be careful of.
But my girls never give me any actual reason to punish them.....but they
both like being spanked, so.....we generally just have to make up a reason and
go with it. Mandy's a little easier to
claim general naughtiness with than Kristina.....but we all get to have fun
with it. Which...is the entire point. #
[16:00] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident):
Wow...that was way more stream of consciousness than I intended it to be.
Sorry.....
[16:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Yes
"funishment" has to be clearly understood from both sides.
[16:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Not at all I
thought it was great!
[16:00] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): it's exactly how
we roll!
[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Oh wait...'NOW I
IZ GUNNA FUNISH U!'
[16:01] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but I agree that
the s-type needs to be sure what they're doing is *understood* by the D-type.
[16:02] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Otherwise it can
clearly seem to be insubordination.
[16:03] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident):
Yeah. I can sometimes go a bit
overboard.....so I have to be careful.
[16:03] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So I found it
interesting that you said you got in a bit of trouble with your owner for
pushing the "funishment," Kathryn.
[16:03] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident):
Yeah......it's the switch part
[16:03] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That's the
Delphic Maxim in my profile, "Know Thyself"
[16:03] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Gotta start
there.
[16:04] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident):
When I don't get enough time with my D side.....it sometimes leaks into my s
side........and without meaning to, end up attempting to Top from the Bottom
[16:04] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident):
which....never goes over well with a Mistress
[16:04] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Noooooo
[16:04] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident): I
try to be mindful of that......and apologize far, far in advance
[16:05] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident):
It's never intentional......
[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): nods nods
[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): knowing and
working with it is the important part
[16:05] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident): but
that can turn funishment into punishment really quickly
[16:05] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): and then it's all
bummer-shment
[16:05] Seli (Seliara Elton): Correction is caring!
[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I thought you
said "correction is caning" for a second
[16:06] Seli (Seliara Elton): It is also that
[16:06] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I mean...
[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): which I suppose
it could be!
[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ♫
rimshot ♫
[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Kathryn thanks so
much!
[16:06] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident): :)
[16:06] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Johan you are up
please!
[16:07] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Apologies for the
wall of text... put your hard hats on.
[16:07] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Personally I think,
that as long as the Top (whether they are D type or not) as long as they too
are having 'fun' there's no problemw ith engaging in the funishment. Personally yes, I enjoy funishment.
I'm not strong Sadist, but I do have a bit of a fiendish streak in me. I love
the squirming of submissives/bottoms in mutually enjoyable fun, whether that
include impact play and masochism on their part, or such. I DO like setting up the scene rather than
just "we're going to spank you today" BUT,
there are also times where I just feel like
spanking/whipping/cropping/decorating my sub with my marks for everyone to see. I have one sub who is specifically NOT
into pleasure/pain, and one who specifically IS 100% into it all the way, so
its a nice balance. We'll come up with
reasons for infractions such as "Tsk tsk tsk, you wore panties today
knowing how I feel about lag!" or
"You forgot to collate the documents I had you print out " (If we're
doing sexy sexcretary play). When it
comes
[16:07] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): to 'punishments' which are few and rare, they
definitely aren't on the 'fun' side of things as we discussed last week
regarding corrections and behavior modification. I will say regarding public play, while
its all fun and funishment - at times people may need to understand that off
putting public play even though the D and S type are engaging in funishment,
they are also not getting consent from the 3rd parties who witness it. Leaving
them either the choice to ignore/block, or leave in many cases. # done
[16:07] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): save vs wall of
text, Fortitude roll...25
[16:08] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ooo lots of good
stuff!
[16:08] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): First I love RP
setup to a scene like that
[16:08] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): sure sometimes
it's fun to just bind to furnishing and get to it
[16:09] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but it's also fun
to come up with a RP reason for *why* it's going on
[16:09] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): so I love the
"oh no....you're causing lag with panties!"
[16:09] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): *giggles*
[16:09] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): It IS a known fact
panties cause lag
[16:09] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): of course
[16:10] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but I hear if you
shove them in the naughty sub's mouth and tape it over with duct tape, the lag
disappears
[16:10] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident):
can't see then anymore.....so no lag
[16:10] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): might have to
experiment.....experimental and control subs...
[16:10] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I think that's the
'gag exception' :)
[16:11] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ♫
rimshot ♫
[16:11] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): It's a gag order
for sure!
[16:11] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ♫
rimshot ♫
[16:12] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): As far as the
third party consent, we've discussed that in the past and I'm sure we'll get to
it again during this long section on BDSM
[16:12] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): what is the funishment
for sl messing the sub around for 40 minutes?
[16:13] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Thats just the
lindens being sadists.
[16:13] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But like last
night was "Bondage a go go"...if someone came to an adult sim, went
to a bondage party there, and saw lots of yummy funishment going on...they can
either leave, watch, or join in! No one
is making them do anything!
[16:13] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Forty lashes with
a cat-5 flogger for them!
[16:14] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Does' the Cat 6 come
with decreased latency between strokes?
[16:14] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): lol!
[16:15] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): good one Johan!
;)
[16:15] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ♫
rimshot ♫
[16:15] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Just remember your
Safeword must include 8 characters, two capitlizations, three specialy
characters...
[16:15] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): LOL!
[16:15] Arella Soren (Arella4 Resident): it's on DC
[16:15] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): oh you missed it
three times...try again in 30 mins...*whack whack*
[16:16] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): "Sorry you've
used that same safeword within the past 60 days.."
[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): LOLOL!
[16:16] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident):
Network Security Domination
[16:16] wombaticus (wombaticus Resident): I was working with
a Mistress once. She told me we didn't need need a safe word,YET! lol
[16:16] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): eeep
[16:16] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): YET?!
[16:17] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): everyone needs a
safeword...even if they never use it
[16:17] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): ^^^^^^
[16:17] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but that's a
different discussion
[16:17] Kathryn Scarpulla (CatherineScarpulla Resident):
*facepalm*
[16:18] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Johan that's all
great material, thank you!
[16:18] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): looks
at the queue
[16:18] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): who else has a
comment or question on "funishment?"
[16:19] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): do you like
funishment, dislike it, if you like it how do you like to set it up...just get
to it or do some "set up" first....is it fun?
[16:20] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): back to Johan
while y'all think a bit!
[16:20] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I just thought of one
more thing to add, I like when it comes to funishment to make certain that
submissive KNOWS this is funishment. I
will tell them "WE are doing this because I want to, or because its a reward for you for doing
XXX, etc.. Not because it is a
punishment for any wrong doing." #
[16:21] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): nods
[16:21] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Right!
[16:21] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): That's back to it
being clear on both sides
[16:22] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So the Dom doesn't think it's actual backtalk or being a
pain in the arse....and the sub doesn't think they actually did anything
wrong...because that's a horrible feeling to any well meaning sub type.
[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): the key word to
all this has always been *communication*
[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): So good point,
thanks Johan!
[16:23] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Benedetta has a
question
[16:23] (Benedetta
it>en): Thank you
[16:23] Benedetta (cordediseta Rosea): Is there still anyone
who seeks to be punished? I ask because being punished has a profound meaning,
it is not a game, punishment presupposes a mistake on the part of the sub and
are there subs who enjoy making mistakes or is there a dominant who enjoys
giving punishments?
[16:24] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): go ahead and
answer no Cs please
[16:25] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): I've known both, but
not sure if either is caused by lack of Funishment.#
[16:25] Seli (Seliara Elton): I've met dommes who like
punishing. They're the ones where their trick is "everything you do is
wrong." Like you say "there's some pretty people here today!"
and they say "why are you looking at anyone but me" and next thing
you know you're blindfolded, and so on. It's a really intense (and probably
unsustainable) way to be, if you ask me, but I've seen a rare few be really
into it."
[16:26] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If people are
into that dynamic that's fine...but I don't think *most* s-types would last
long in such a thing
[16:26] Arella Soren (Arella4 Resident): There are those
with such desires for various reasons of their own. For some, it is a form of attention and/or
expression of caring and love.
[16:27] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Welcome
Benedetta - for this topic we were specifically
discussing 'fun' ishment, to where the top or bottom (or both!) can enjoy the
scene mutually. Personally I don't
enjoy punishment, but there are some who do on all flavors of D/s and
BDSM. There are som subs who crave the
humiliation aspect of it, so punishment would be more fulfilling than
'funishment' where it may just be a impact-pain masochism thing. I think there is definitely room for all
in the Kink community, but the core is finding the 'right' people for each
other in that aspect. #
[16:28] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): If the continual
"punishment" is really funishment between them, that's fine. Some Dom s like mind-fucking and if the sub
is into that, that's also fine
[16:28] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but if it's being
used harshly and for arbitrary reasons and the sub is suffering from it...that
ain't gonna last long
[16:29] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): How much are each
genuine behaviors as opposed to a need for attention. If the latter then surely
that is where Funishment should fill the gap. If the former good luck
[16:30] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): good question
Benedetta, thanks!
[16:30] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Michael you are
up
[16:30] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): Hope this fits
discussion. One of my subs in role play is terrified that using her collar in
RLV will destroy or deform her avatar. I cannot convince her otherwise. We miss
the RLV side of our role play. Thoughts? #
[16:31] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): how would it do
that? It really can't.
[16:32] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): I've given her
numerous information about no avatar destruction. #
[16:32] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): oh well.. thanks #
[16:32] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I've never heard of
RLV in a collar deforming an Avatar unless she has separate 'forms' set up body
wise such as if she is also a furry or animal, and those deformers affect? But even then generally a quick reboot or
'undeform avatar" in the Avatar menu can correct.
[16:32] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I would direct her to
the Xaara (or many other sims) classes on RLV and collars?
[16:33] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): I've had this problem
as an rlv scripter. People, particularly men, think it can do dreadful things.
Even explaining it all logically doesn't work, it is an emotional reaction and
can only be met on that level.
[16:33] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): thanks Johan # good
idea. #
[16:33] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Agreed Liss
[16:33] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): all her emotional
triggers # yes
[16:33] Seli (Seliara Elton): There's also very cheap RLV
things you can buy that will essentially "lock" a folder on you. So
you put links to all your core "form" stuff like eyes and skin in one
folder and then click Lock, and boom, you're stuff is safely ensconced and
under your power.
[16:34] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): it's an older Moon
Pixie collar .. #
[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): But other than
how Johan described a work around in a specific way, there is really no danger
of it. Feel free to save this open chat
and let her see it maybe? Is anyone not
wanting their open chat on such a card (if so just remove their part)
[16:36] Seli (Seliara Elton): I'm good. She could ping me
for help too if she needs
[16:36] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): Thanks, Vanni #
[16:36] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): same here
[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): we always want
consent for everything of course!
[16:37] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): Maybe sub to sub
talks for her would be advisable. #
[16:37] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): <--- isn't good..
ends up stripping people back to Noob Avatars on accident lol
[16:37] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): Maybe an early event
in her SL life, did that to her avi Johan. #
[16:37] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): It was probably me
[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): it's possible
[16:37] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): LOL
[16:38] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): If they don't set up
their 'folders' correctly it IS possible
to strip them down to whatever they set up for their body/clothing, etc.
[16:38] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): people used to
put those "traps" in their profile that if you clicked on a link it
would put you into a bunny avatar in the "Library"
[16:38] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): Likely the underlying
issue. Johan.. #
[16:39] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): Yes Vanni.. they
capture or pursuit triggers used to be around more. #
[16:39] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): that was never
cool
[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): good question
thanks Michael
[16:40] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Nope, but if they
wanted to be truly evil, it would have been a 'wear all' instead of 'wear
bunny'...
[16:40] Seli (Seliara Elton): Oh god
[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): LOL Johan
[16:40] Arella Soren (Arella4 Resident): eep
[16:40] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): we had some capture
items on Xaara for some festivals. #
[16:40] Seli (Seliara Elton): "I have RLV'd you into
Lag Town, and you are the mayor
[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): heh heh
[16:40] Chelsea ღ (Baybee Doll): Im so scared of RLV
[16:40] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): I did that once..
crashed 5 times before I could get everything to stop trying to open/add
[16:40] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): RLV is fun to use
in a scene
[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): it adds elements
of "surprise"
[16:41] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): Are there tailorable
collars where you can add facilities one by one ?
[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but on a regular
basis, as a submissive I'd rather be told "get in this position" or
what have you most of the time
[16:41] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but all that's a
different topic...which I think we'll add to the D/s section when we get there
[16:41] Seli (Seliara Elton): How do you mean by facilities,
Liss?
[16:41] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): pose commands vs. RLV
buttons. # hmmm
[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): or just direct
order!
[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): "Kneel in
front of me in Nadu2"
[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): see that's yummy!
[16:42] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): *Takes Sydney's leash
out of his pocket, and shakes it loose*
[16:42] Seli (Seliara Elton): grins.
"I have a little snap hud so I don't even need to order.
[16:42] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): "Shake it
off!"
[16:43] Seli (Seliara Elton): One little pop and Lexi knows
where she needs to be.
[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): well yes but
being *told* to do it and doing it gives it that zing IMO
[16:43] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but however it
works for y'all is good!
[16:43] Sydney ღ Dark (Badvudo Resident): * turns to
smile at her Sire and leans her head to the side waiting patiently for him to
leash her*
[16:43] Seli (Seliara Elton): Being -trained- to do it
worked pretty well, by all reports
[16:43] Seli (Seliara Elton): grins
at Vanni
[16:43] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): Love has patterns we
learn and discover together.. #
[16:43] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): rlv isn't dangerous but
collars can be (and other items). I wonder about a collar where you can start
with no rlv and say are you OK with your IMs being restricted ...
[16:44] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): any other
comments or questions on "funishment?"
[16:44] Liss (LissomePrey Resident): sorry
[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): no worries!
[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I'm trained as a
college prof to get us back on track lol
[16:45] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): winks
at Seli as I'm well "trained" *grins and giggles*
[16:45] Benedetta (cordediseta Rosea): Q
[16:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Benedetta will
have the final say today
[16:46] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): go ahead!
[16:46] Benedetta (cordediseta Rosea): thank you
[16:46] Benedetta (cordediseta Rosea): Is understanding a
mistake part of a Dominant's cultural baggage?
[16:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): I think any good
Dom should be able to differentiate
between an honest mistake and insubordination
[16:47] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): "Doms make
mistakes?" :)
[16:47] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): a mistake
requires simple correction and a desire to not do it again
[16:47] AdamRome (adamrome Resident): We all make mistakes
and have misunderstandings
[16:48] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): insubordination
is a problem IMO, and again differing between funishment setup of a scene and
actual "I'm not doing that, screw you" kind of speech
[16:48] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): To err is human, to
punish is Dominant?
[16:48] AdamRome (adamrome Resident): To understand is being
Dominant
[16:49] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): Sorry I should have
thrown a /s up there for Sarcasm :) I
was failing at being funny :)
[16:49] Michael Stardust (Sire Sands): I find porch talks
can often resolve an error or mistake by either party. #
[16:49] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): but honestly if I
had a submissive who directly told me "no, I'm not doing that" the next question to them would be "then
why are you my submissive?" unless I was overstepping a clear limit of
course
[16:49] Chelsea ღ (Baybee Doll): ^
[16:50] Johan Dark (WJohanW Resident): ^ This..
A "no" is a good opportunity to discuss 'ok, why not?"
[16:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Right
[16:50] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): does that help
Benedetta?
[16:50] (Benedetta
it>en): yes and thank you...smiles
[16:51] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): ok with that we
will dismiss! Thank you all! Next week Johan has his "Easy Like
Sunday Morning" dj set from 8-10 (I think) then in two weeks the topic is
"Sadism" as we get to S/M!
[16:52] Vanessa Cannoli (Vanessa Cannoli): Thanks for all
the great comments and questions!
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